And welcome back.
It is the WXCO morning report part of mornings with pack right low on 98.9 WXCO
Online at wxco.fm, mobile devices and Alexa by searching wxco and on the Civic Media app.
I am Chad Holmes along with Ian Welsh.
Ian, good morning.
Good morning Chad.
We will have more with you coming up in just a little bit but first we're very happy to welcome back into studio sitting across the table for me the executive director of the women's community Jane Graham Jennings and Jane.
Thank you for coming back in.
Good morning.
Thank you for having me.
It is the month of October and that means it is
In a sense, I'll ask you about this, but it's really something to focus on for 12 months a year.
But it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month here in the month of October.
And got some events going on here this month.
But let me ask you about domestic violence and where we stand as a community, as a state, as a country.
As I said, it's a 12 month a year process for you and others within your organization.
If you were to have a report card, and I don't think, you know, not specifically A to F, but just generally, what direction are we going in when it comes to trying to limit and eliminate domestic violence in our communities?
Well, unfortunately, I've been in this work almost 30 years and the needle has barely moved.
That's why we still need an awareness month because there is still significant lack of understanding.
about what domestic violence is, what the root cause is, and how it is that people can hurt other people that they claim to love.
So very sad.
Statistic and Domestic Abuse Wisconsin publishes a homicide report annually about the number of domestic violence related homicides.
And in 2024, there were 110 people in the state of Wisconsin who died because of domestic violence.
And that's the highest number that it's ever been since they started publishing the report.
So as a group, as all of the statewide coalition of programs and agencies that are trying to combat domestic violence,
this just gives us great pause.
Like how can this continue to happen?
That number that whatever the number is, it's too much.
But then when you add to it, that it is the highest we've seen when we are in the year 2025, when we should be having the tools and having the understanding of why things happen and to be able not to have a number go up, but actually go down.
I know this will be a hard question, but I was put simply, why?
Why in 2025 are we seeing that number actually go in the wrong direction when we have information?
You've been, as you said, you've been in this work for three decades.
Why, based on what you've learned over these years, are we not seeing that number go down and in fact, going up?
I think part of it is,
I mean, that's kind of the million dollar question if we could figure that out.
But it's it's the complexity of domestic violence.
So there still is a tendency for people to blame victims.
And there's still not an incentive for people who cause harm to change.
And that's, you know, the focus on letting and literally we let people
get away with harming someone that they claim to love.
There is a power dynamic in a household.
The people who choose harm manipulate and control everything.
They manipulate the systems, they manipulate law enforcement, they manipulate judges, and they keep getting away with that.
They manipulate their families.
So we really need to figure out a way that we can address people who cause harm.
Um, that's where we're going to get at the root cause.
Along that line, when you were just talking just a moment ago about where lack of air from the blame goes, and we've often hear the statement when somebody gets arrested and then gets released, we always hear, well, it's really hard because, uh,
For then dot-dot-dot whatever reasons
it
may be in order to ultimately prosecute it feels as though that's an excuse isn't it because the percentage
we've seen studies, the percentage of false reports are incredibly low, incredibly low, and yet the percentage of arrests that ultimately don't even get to trial.
They just, they get arrested, they spend a night in jail, and then all of a sudden, well, we don't have the evidence to proceed.
How does that change?
Because that seems like maybe one of the core problems is when there's no accountability, then you get back into the same situation, and then the cycle continues, doesn't it?
I mean, one of the things that can that of the complexities is the criminal legal system isn't necessarily the answer to get people to change.
So, you know, when mandatory arrest came into place for domestic violence in Wisconsin, there was a sense that this was going to help curb the problem.
And I don't think we've seen that play out.
There is.
a tiny bit of accountability.
But what we see more in the criminal legal system is people who use power and control manipulate the entire system and continue to be manipulative and continue to harm and hurt their family members.
And they use the legal system to do that.
So in the big scheme of things, we need to find an alternative to that punishment cycle because it hasn't worked.
What it does do is in that moment, it protects victims from being killed.
So when someone is, when it's a very violent situation, law enforcement comes, someone is taken to jail, that keeps someone safe for however long that person is in jail.
But it doesn't provide any incentive for that person to change.
that we've just not seen that work.
So we have to look at some different ways that we address people who cause harm, that we look at the entitlement to people who say,
I can do whatever I want, regardless of how much it hurts someone else.
You're gonna do what I say, and if you don't, then I'm going to hurt you.
If I can't have you, no one will.
That's kind of the mentality.
That's what leads to domestic violence homicides.
So we need to find some ways to address differently.
What we've been doing is not been effective enough.
It's been a band-aid, but there's some real deeper issues in our society and in our culture.
that we support people who cause harm and we make excuses for them.
We will have more with Jane Graham Jennings, executive director of the women's community at 722.
More of Pack Right Low Next on WXCO.
WXCO morning report part of mornings with pack right low on 98.9 WXCO.
I am Chad Holmes Continuing a conversation that I recorded yesterday the Jane Graham Jennings She is the executive director of the women's community here in wassup October is domestic abuse awareness month and Part of the conversation was also the folks at
give donations because of the important work that the women's community does here in our area.
On a pretty regular basis, when someone sends a donation into the women's community, it comes with a note that says, when my mother was going through this, there wasn't somewhere like this for her.
So I just want you, thank you for being there.
So the fact that we have agencies in every county in Wisconsin to help address and remove the shame that had surrounded
victims 40 years ago, awareness has increased.
And why do we do that?
Because it helps victims feel less alone.
So that has all been positive in that there are places where victims can go and know that they're not going to be blamed and know that they're not going to be shamed.
We talk about it more now.
So that definitely is a positive.
We still need to do that more.
But the biggest positive impact is that
There are places that victims can go to receive assistance and support and to understand and help them figure it out because they're just trying to figure it
out.
Right.
It's, it frankly hits me hard when I think about, when you talked about the people that have no place to go.
Yeah.
I mean.
If you put yourself in the situation where you feel, and I think we've all had situations, not to maybe the point where you feel like your life is in danger, but it could be financial issues, it could be, you know, just issues interpersonally with people in your lives, but when you're at a point where your life is in danger, when you have nowhere to go, I mean, I don't know if people truly understand, you talk to these people, women often, who are in these abusive relationships, is there anything you can share to maybe
add perspective to why the importance of the women's community and other shelters throughout the country and the world are so vitally important.
What these people are going through?
Absolutely.
And to be clear, the majority of people we see are women, but certainly men experience abuse as well.
So whether that's from another male partner or a female partner.
And we serve men as well.
Anyone who is being harmed by someone that they care about and that they believe love them.
And I'm sorry for making it sound like that because that is vitally important to underline.
Yes.
And you know, people
always have questions about the name of our agency and that's based in the history because in the 70s things were very different.
So now there are places everywhere that anyone who is a victim can go.
Why are they important?
Because
Being trapped in an abusive relationship is very complex and it doesn't make sense.
So as humans, what we do when things don't make sense is we fill in the gaps.
We make it logical because we're logical beings and that's what we want it to be.
So when victims can't figure out why this is happening, they blame themselves.
They're like, I must have done this or this or this.
Why would this person who I love do this?
They said they were sorry.
I'm sure they're sorry.
How can I make this better?
And what we can help provide is just a sounding board.
We can just offer listening and just kind of offer some alternative thoughts.
When someone is trapped in an abusive relationship, they're really just trying to figure it out.
It gets more complex when you have children.
So there are all kinds of things that victims are trying to assess and figure out.
And leaving an abusive relationship doesn't guarantee safety.
And that's something that is really hard for people to understand.
Just leaving is not that.
doesn't just happen because a manipulation and abuse often continues.
Most victims of domestic violence, homicide, happen, they are killed after they leave the relationship.
So it doesn't guarantee safety.
People are trying to figure it out.
And what services like our
are to do is we are with them through that entire process.
Victims will return to that relationship trying to make it work multiple times.
That's what we all do.
Even in healthy relationships, we don't just walk away when there's an argument.
We try to figure it out.
We have apologies.
We make it work.
In an abusive relationship, those apologies are lies.
They are betrayal.
But victims are just like anyone in another relationship, just trying to figure it out and believe their partner.
Again, we're talking to Jane Graham Jennings, the executive director of the women's community here on 98.9 WXEL.
It is October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Maybe just a question that kind of popped into my mind.
When there's times of whether it is economic upheaval, times of recession, depression, when there's, I would say that we're in a time in our country where there is a lot of
angst and anxiousness generally During those times do you find that when things and again it I'm talking about enough, you know Just a macro environment as opposed to because everybody even when things are so in a so-called wonderful time for you know, everything's Morning America back in the days.
There are still a lot of people that were that were struggling But when you do have times where there is I think generally within the country a lot of struggle
Do you see the numbers for domestic violence also go up as well?
Is there a correlation, I would ask, in that respect?
Sometimes it's really hard to find what people think is causal and correlated.
So all of those stressors are not causal.
You know, people who choose to use harm and manipulation make that choice.
What may be correlated is that when everyone is uncertain and the level of uncertainty, if you're not certain about your job, if you're not certain about your next paycheck, all of that can compound an already difficult mindset.
So that's not causal, but certainly correlated because the more people are anxious, the more they lash out.
So we do see some correlation, but again, I always want to make sure people understand it's not causal, just like alcohol does not cause abuse.
It is a contributing factor in many situations, but it doesn't cause it.
when you have someone who is using power and control, that is always a choice, and they're choosing that behavior.
We will continue this important conversation with the executive director of the women's community here in Wausau, Jane Graham Jennings, coming up at 7.52.
Bottom of the hour information update is coming up, and then it's more of mornings with Pat Crichtlow here on 98.9 WXCO.
WXCO morning report part of mornings with Pat Crite Lowe on 98.9 WXCO.
I am Chad Holmes as we continue here during the month of October.
It is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Conversation with Jane Graham Jennings.
She is the executive director of the women's community here in Wausau.
Continued our conversation, I asked when somebody comes in.
the doors at the women's community during a very, very difficult time.
What is the first thing that Jane and the others who work at the women's community think about?
What do they do during these very, very difficult times?
The most important thing we can do is support and believe.
When people are trapped in these relationships and when they're being harmed by someone they love, it doesn't make sense.
And oftentimes in their outer circles, people are...
blaming them.
They're hearing things like, why would you stay with that?
Why would you accept that?
You should know better than that.
And none of those things are going to come from advocates at the women's community.
We are going to listen to someone who's just trying to figure it out.
We're going to reflect their feelings and we're going to help them see the forest that they can't see when they're stuck in it.
So, and we also will never turn them away no matter how many times they come back.
We have worked with people for seven years, trapped in a relationship, continuing to be in that relationship, being harmed.
And when they walk out our door, we know they're going back into a situation that's going to be painful.
But our hope, if we've done our job well, they know that we're not going to judge them.
They come back and say, you know what, maybe I need to think about this differently.
And we say, let's talk that through.
What does that look like?
Tell me what is the greatest fear you have?
and we can help them kind of come back to their place.
When in an abusive relationship, really what's happening, someone's trapped in that, they are living in daily trauma.
So when our brains are at a high level of exposure, people literally cannot think logically.
There's a lot of new trainings and new science that has gone into being trapped in an abusive relationship and the neurobiology of trauma and the impact that that has on a person's ability to think.
Literally victims of domestic abuse cannot think logically because they are in survival mode.
And that's it.
So their brain, they are in the most reptilian part of their brain where they're not making logical decisions.
They are making survival decisions.
So often what we see if someone comes into our shelter program, they come in and they can't make a decision.
They are just in survival and everything is about survival.
But after a couple of days and then a week or so,
Once the chemicals in the brain when they're not living in trauma response they can literally start to access the logical thinking of their brain and they can start to see when they first come in and we say if we would say you know what goals do you have they have none because they can't think logically but once that
Cloud is lifted and it literally is a changing chemistry in the brain They're able to access the logical thinking of their brain.
They can start to plan They can start to think about they can start to see things more clearly and it's we often like an awakening We see them kind of awaken they're like wow wait that that wasn't right that shouldn't have happened Why did I blame myself for that?
They're not in survival anymore.
They're inability to think and that's what we can help them do.
Give them some space so that their chemistry regulates and then they can start to think and then we can start to help them look at the future, look at goals and move from there.
But that takes time.
The word that you started your answer with seems like the maybe the foundational word is support that you can't tell a victim.
what to do, that you are truly there to listen and then to support.
As somebody that talks for a living and talks about a bunch of issues, sometimes you fall into a trap of saying, well,
we should do this or we should do that.
Those are the words that never can come out of the mouth of the folks like yourself and the others that work there, correct?
Right, well, if you think about it, how much do you like someone telling you what to do?
Not very much.
Right.
So again, as humans, we want to have our own autonomy and victims often have a whole lot of people in their lives telling them what they should do.
And what we say is, let's sit with you as you figure out what you want to do.
And oftentimes, for a variety of reasons, victims are saying, you know what, I need to try to figure this out.
I need to stay and make this work.
OK, let's safety plan then.
You're going to be in this relationship.
This is what's going to happen for maybe religious reasons, cultural reasons.
Leaving a spouse is not an option.
Let's talk about how you can be safe in that situation then.
we're going to safety plan with you.
When you see things start to escalate, what is it you're going to do?
What can you and your children do when these things happen?
Is there a safe place you can go until it settles down?
So we're not going to say you have to leave or we're not going to help you.
We say, how can you stay as safe as possible in a situation that you can't leave?
I promise we'll talk about some of the events that are going on here this month at the women's community.
But another question that's going to popped into my mind is we've talked a lot about the victim.
of domestic violence who come through the doors of the women's community and other support systems throughout the state and the country.
We did mention the fact that the proper term, the abuser, I don't want to use proper terminology, but for those who are involved in these relationships and there's a lot, they love their partner.
They love their partner and they don't want to hurt their partner.
Do you, if somebody comes in who has been
the perpetrator of these events, do you work with them at all?
If there's somebody who comes in and says, I hate what I'm doing, I hate this, what are the options
there?
We are not able to work with perpetrators, we're a victim service only, so all of our support and funding is for victim services.
But absolutely, if someone wants to stop that behavior, we want to get them connected to resources.
So there had been a treatment program for people who use violence.
And they're kind of reassessing it, because again, has it moved the needle in any way?
And are those folks changing their behavior?
There are therapists in town who are well versed in domestic violence and understanding power and control.
So if someone is truly in a situation that they want to change their behavior, there are people we can connect them with that can help them on that path.
So we have community partners that we connect with.
We don't do that service ourselves.
And there's actually more of our conversation with Jane Graham Jennings, the executive director of the women's community here in Wausau.
And we will hear that tomorrow, starting at 6.52 a.m.
Right now we need to take a break, come back with more Mornings with Pat Crichtlope here on 98.9 WXCO.
And good morning once again, everyone.
Welcome back.
WXCO morning report.
Part of mornings with Pat Crite Low on 98.9 WXCO.
Online at wxco.fm mobile devices and Alexa by searching WXCO and on the Civic Media app.
The time is 8 23 right now.
Overcast guys here in downtown Wausau.
Temperature stands at 47 degrees.
A very slight chance of a shower here today, high of 58, and then more likely showers tonight with a low of 44 and then dry, mostly cloudy 55 coming up tomorrow.
I am Chad Holmes along with Ian Welsh.
Ian, again, good morning.
Good morning, Chad.
A couple of things I want to discuss before we get to our number for the day quiz to see if you can get back on the winning track.
I certainly hope so.
This morning we had three segments with Jane Graham Jennings.
The executive director of the women's community.
Yeah, we have more coming up with her tomorrow morning as well October domestic violence awareness month and Something that I want to point out number one Coming up in just a few minutes once we get done with our program.
We will have online our
podcast and also our show notes if you go to wxco.fm under news you'll see you'll see the wxco morning report and then you just click on today's show and you'll be able to hear a podcast of what we're doing here today with a description some links as well also we'll have a link to our YouTube discussion so if you don't want to wait till tomorrow to get the entirety of our discussion with Jane Graham Jennings you'll be able to go to our YouTube channel and be able to watch it there but also I wanted to mention that something that actually we
about you'll hear tomorrow and at the end of our discussion is if you're interested in making a donation to the women's community to help them in terms of their work at this time where we see some of the funding being taken away by federal government even sometimes local government if you go to their website women'scommunity.org that's women'scommunity.org you also have a link on our show notes
on our podcast page coming up in just a little bit.
But on the front page, on the right hand side near the top, it'll say donate.
And if you donate during this month, October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, your donation will be worth twice what it normally would be because there is a person out there that is matching every donation this month.
So every donation is being matched.
by a terrific supporter of the women's community.
So if you make a donation of $5, it's actually a donation of $10.
That's
great.
So whatever it may be, it gets doubled.
So if you have an opportunity, go to womenscommunity.org, click on donate, make a donation, whatever it may be, and it will automatically double because of the support of this
a very special person who's matching for this month of October.
That's wonderful.
Also want to remind folks that coming up, we have our open house here at WXCO on Thursday from 10 a.m.
until 4 p.m.
Chance for you to come on in, see what we're doing.
We'll give you an opportunity to speak in front of the microphones.
We'll be able to show you what we do.
We'll show you around.
We'll listen to thoughts that you have on our programming.
If there's things that we can do better, if there's things you like, we will have some food and snacks from the Mint Cafe right down the street.
We'll have beverages.
We will have WXCO and Civic Media swag.
So again, if you have an opportunity, come on down 10 a.m.
until 4 p.m.
on Thursday.
A lot of fun.
Our doors will be open to you, and we really would love you to come on by.
And also, I have some special news that you don't even know about this.
Boy, surprise, I like it.
We have a surprise.
Okay.
Coming up on, on Thursday from two until 4pm, the Todd Alba show will be right here from our studio.
Statewide show.
Todd is going to make the trek up.
from Madison and do the show here in Warsaw on Thursday.
So if you come on by, you'll be able to meet Todd Alba as well, be able to watch Todd do his show from our studio.
And again, that's from two until four.
So again, the community open house here at WXCO, 10 a.m.
until 4 p.m.
coming up on Thursday and get a chance as well to meet Ian Welsh.
So I think that's worth it just in itself.
and maybe you can give him some advice on how to get these number for the day quizzes right.
Any piece of advice would be helpful at this point because I could really
use
it.
Maybe go head to head.
People that come in here would do head to head.
You can bring your own numbers of the day if you have
one and see if you can, you
know,
I'll test my knowledge and see if I still got the right stuff.
Exactly, so
that's a...
It should be a really fun
day on Thursday.
I
know.
Plus it'll give you a chance to match a...
faces to the voices that you hear.
Exactly.
So again, if you have an opportunity anytime between 10 and 4 to stop on by and something else I want to mention, I know somebody actually sent us a note on Facebook about, well, you know, the kids are still in school for most of that time.
Well, if you have somebody that if you are a parent with a child or know a child that would be interested in seeing what we're doing here, just reach out.
We can give you a tour outside of our community open house.
So just reach out.
Let us know that there's somebody
like to, you know, pay a visit or if you would like to pay a visit, just let us know and we'll, we'll show you around and give you a chance to sit in front of our microphones and so again, but if you are able to come Thursday, we will look forward to that.
All right, well, let's do it.
Let's do our number for the day quiz here to wrap things up.
I got to focus.
Ian has missed what?
At least 11 in a row.
Maybe even more than that.
If you go back to two weeks.
So five, five and one, you're all for one this week.
Oh, yeah.
On this date in 1979 Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers scored his first national hockey league goal Okay, he would go on to become the greatest hockey player in history have the most goals in history Yeah for a long time.
It's been passed by Alexander Ovechkin But how many goals did Wayne Gretzky have in his NHL career?
Okay, your choices are 694 goals 794 goals 894 goals No, I'm
gonna say
794 goals final answer
Wayne Gretzky on this date to 1979 scored the first of 894 goals in his NHL career Tread we will try again tomorrow.
Yep.
This is getting ridiculous But have a good rest of your day.
You too
Chad.
Happy Tuesday
everybody.
We'll have more with Jane Graham Jennings tomorrow morning here on the morning report on 98 9 WXCO
