Hey, it's waters from the waters wake up call tunes day this morning.
I figured since golden flu season was pretty much coming in, I would turn into my alter ego, Dr waters and write you two inscriptions for what ails
you.
Well, I'm
always looking for a cure for sadness.
Can you tell me what's got you down?
I lost my brother back in
April.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Boy, that's gonna take a biggie.
Maybe you'd like to be comfortably numb.
That would be good, too.
Well, I agree, and it was nice to hear you laugh.
Well, I could send you
over to
Dr. Floyd, you know, over at...
another brick in the Walgreens, and he can make you a comfortably numb.
That
would be
good.
Hey.
Good morning, Mr. Water.
How
are we doing today?
Hey, it's Bremer County Big Man.
How are you doing, Big Man?
What's going on?
What's happening?
What's the hot action?
What's ailing you?
All that kind of stuff.
Oh my gosh, it's been a long time, man.
I believe it was back in February of 02.
You called and... Yeah, we talked about... Oh, I remember, we talked about something.
I know, I know.
Something anything is a good topic.
Yeah, so how you been, how you been big man?
Good, good, good.
I took a different job, so I'm over the road, so...
Alright, so still trucking.
And what's alien you, may I ask?
I do have to go to the bathroom, so I'm trying to hurry up and get back to the shop.
Boy, so you have to go to the bathroom.
I should I should write you a to inscription So you'll never have to go to the bathroom again.
I mean you can go but you never have to well, you know who I think could help you is Nurse black Betty has this topical ointment that she uses called ram jam that will work
beautifully for what you've got going on.
So whether you're an over the road truck driver and don't want to stop too often or you're watching a really long football game with sudden death over time and when you need that commercial to come on so you can take a break that it doesn't come well this works for all that.
So again it's Nurse Black Betty's Ram Jam and if she tries to
push
you Ram Jam and if she tries to push you toward Ram Butter or Bama Lam's blood
Just say no.
Sure.
Sure.
That's it.
Hi, Dr. Waters.
Good morning, Mr. Patient.
What ails you?
What is it that I can do for you?
This is Musical Bob.
Hey, Musical Bob.
Hey, I just got back from the hospital.
I had some blood work done.
Yeah?
And they say that I have a deficient P in cowbell.
It's pretty rare, Musical Bob.
Yes, it is.
You must not spend enough time around cows.
And in Iowa, that's a sin.
As well as a threat to your health.
So are you ever around cows?
Interesting Take people who have drank like a fish for years and years and years and then boom cold turkey They quit drinking not a drop that affects their health in a negative way So I think maybe you spent a lot of time with cows and now not so much time with cows So your body isn't quite used to that.
So yeah, so maybe that's why I guess it's
Deficient in the cowbell that makes sense
Yeah, I
know this is gonna sound crazy and you can go along with this or you can say yeah, I don't think so I'm thinking we play a song with some cowbell.
Oh, I think that would be great.
Oh good good.
I wasn't I wasn't sure musical Bob You know, I may have to give you a double shot of cowbell
Dr. Waters.
Yes, Dr. Extraordinaire
I'm calling on behalf of the co-worker.
Oh, sure.
Sure.
For a friend,
okay.
They are apparently suffering from a frozen.
Gluteus Maximus, and in this day and age I could only think of one cure which would be to sit on fire, which is also a song by the crazy world of Arthur Brown.
Here's what I'll tell you Woody, because every time I do a topic I go back to the archives and I listen to some of the things that I'd gotten before and it gets me in the mood for the Tunes Day topic.
It's funny and what makes this funny is you're on one of these archive calls doing the same thing, writing your own Tunes script.
And it's the same song.
No way.
I can't just let you take my pad and write your own to inscription.
Oh, I think my friend needs to hear fire.
You know, who's the doctor here, man?
I'm sorry.
What can I say?
And here's that naughty Woody trying to pull the same thing on me a couple of years ago.
I
need something to warm us up.
You know, my toonscription has to be either light my fire by the doors or...
Nope, I don't do that.
I can get arrested for having you write your own toonscription.
Well, I think it's the Hippocratic Oath or something.
Of course it is.
Or Hippocritical.
Or
the World of Arthur Brown
and
Hissark Fire.
What
did I just say?
What did I just say?
Who's the doctor
here?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
So what's the what's the what's the matter with you today Hollinotes?
Well I'll
tell you what I'm gonna play some Fleetwood McDonald's for you and it'll turn into a quarter pounder in no time
That's
75% relief
You know
You
know, it's funny you say that, Hollano.
It's because I always go through my archived stuff from a particular year when I'm doing this topic.
So from a few years ago, you know, Trucker Todd always used to push my buttons by asking for that song, and it was on a Tuesday, and I was playing Doctor, and he did the same thing.
In fact, let's go back in time.
but it's not Mr. Waters
today.
Yes,
now you got it right.
So is there something that ails you, my friend?
We just need a little more muskrat low.
Oh, come on now.
That's... you know what?
That's... muskrat.
That makes me sick, so I don't think that works.
What is really ailing you?
All I've been doing is drinking and drinking too much.
Quit drinking altogether?
Probably not, completely.
I mean, what fun would that be?
My 12-step program helps you...
Well, I hate to be the one to deliver this news to you, Trucker Todd, but that's a 50-year-old song, and I think those muskrats are
dead.
hangover well
there are worse hangovers I can tell you
probably require a little lime in the coconut you probably googled what
was wrong with you and found out maybe it's the lime in the coconut but I'm the doctor I tell you what you need all right you're doing my job
here you know my mom was a nurse and she would diagnose with her big book are you a doctor or a nurse I am not but the coconut doesn't land far from the
tree that's right it actually lands on your head sometimes
Maybe that coconut hit you in the head so hard.
Maybe this is something mental and not physical.
That you're
right.
Or maybe you could prescribe some psychedelics or something.
Or just an old sauce.
Okay, so first you're asking for lime and coconuts.
Now you're asking for drugs?
Psychedelics?
Psychedelics.
Do you think that'll help a hangover?
Sure.
I need a second opinion, doctor.
On what?
Give me your symptoms.
All right, I don't know.
I'm just kind of sitting around every morning listening to you.
That should be enough.
OK.
My wife is getting kind of upset because I wake up every morning with you.
Well, do you explain that I'm never actually in the same room with you when you wake up?
Have you told her that?
Oh, maybe I should add that.
Yeah, yeah.
If she's been married to you for a long time and she's finding out that you
wake up with some guy named Mike Waters.
I can understand how she'd be upset if she doesn't quite get the situation.
You know, I never made the connection.
See, that's that's why you called me.
That's what I'm here for.
Okay.
Thank
you,
doctor.
Well, you know I'm a bacon crunch wrap away from joining you in the heart attack survivors club Okay, that's not good.
I know that's not good.
It's not good It is what it is though
first of all put down the bacon crunch wrap Okay, and the second thing you should do is drop the shalupa if you're currently celebrating the taco tunes day So put those down put them in the garbage and pick up an apple
or that's a big ask I just quit
smoking.
Oh, I know that's tough, too But there is there's some about an apple the juice in the flow
that's going to satisfy all of your oral cravings.
So you don't even think about the bacon crunch wrap or driving past a convenience store and wanting a gas station hot dog.
Thank God for the medical community keeping us alive during these fast food times.
That is a good point.
My diagnosis for both of us long term is 30 years from now we're both walking.
Dr. Waters, I don't know if I want you to, uh, ale what, you know, care what ales me.
Why?
What ales you?
Because I have
a bad case.
I have a bad case of loving you.
Oh, I want you to keep on loving me.
If I may write myself a to inscription for our speed wagon.
There we go.
We can palm the speed wagon.
Palm.
Is that what you said?
Palm.
Yeah.
Robert Palmer.
Yes.
Robert Palmer speed wagon.
Yeah, doctor, doctor, I just want to keep on loving you.
Actually, if, if you had problems in
You know, in the bedroom, I could tune-scribe, keep on loving you.
It's kind of my version of Viagra.
The world, you know, sometimes that goes hand-in-hand with Paul.
That's true.
That's...
How do you mend a broken heart?
Uh, needle and thread?
No, that seems too easy.
Glue.
Super glue.
Super love glue, maybe.
Hammer and nails.
BGs.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but I don't think that would work, because in the song they're asking the question, how can you mend a broken heart?
If they're asking with the song, then I don't think they have the answer or any idea for a tune description.
by the way.
Les.
So I'm Dr. Johnny Fever and you're Les Nessman.
Maybe in a different life.
Baby, you don't sound like Les Nessman.
You've got a much better radio voice than Les Nessman ever did.
I really like listening to you, man.
I appreciate that.
Usually people who aren't named Les call me and say they'd like to hear me,
Les.
weekday mornings 5 30 to
10