Oh boy, you know, I'm not saying that I ate a lot on Thanksgiving, but there was a Macy's balloon float handler that traveled all the way to Eastern Iowa just to try and attach a rope to me.
That's how much I ate.
Hey, there was a 55 year old Tennessee woman stabbed her daughter and grandson during a Thanksgiving day argument.
Boy, that last dinner roll can really make people crazy.
Bible sales are booming and the King James Bible is one of the top sellers.
The Rick James Bible, eh, not so
no.
The annual report on what the 12 days of Christmas would cost in real life is out.
Not that I care about all that crap.
I mean, as usual, I'm only concerned with the eight maids of milken.
The McRib is back, but only for a limited time, just like the people who eat it.
A man shot customers with arrows at a Texas Walmart.
Fortunately, the average customer at a Texas Walmart is way too thick for an arrow, so thank God for that.
Thank God for little arrows and little miracles.
A new report says that Florida could suffer from a silver tsunami of an aging population.
The report was made by anyone who's been to Florida in the last 10 years.
A survey found that only 31% of Americans feel like they've financially made it.
Read more about that in the new issue of stats that don't apply to people who work in radio.
Yeah, no kidding.
No kidding.
A Russian man was scratched to death by his cat.
And yet the last thing he did before he lost consciousness was to feed it.
I can relate to that.
I can't disagree.
Doctors say it's okay to pee in the shower.
Housekeepers beg to disagree, speaking
devil.
The Thanksgiving box office was $420 million.
They made quite a bit, thanks to Moana 2 and Gladiator 2.
I hope this encourages Hollywood to make more sequels.
As for me, the only seconds I want is the turkey mashed potatoes and Godfather 2 please.
Worry, Lordy Mama.
Uh, Diddy.
Diddy, Diddy, Diddy is accused of dangling a woman from a 17th floor balcony.
The funny thing, I actually had that on my Diddy Bingo card.
Uh, Billy Idol turned 69 on Saturday.
Billy was given one slice of cake at his party, and then, with a rebel yell, he asked for it.
Happy birthday, Billy Idol.
Aaron Rodgers turns 41 today, and if you want to get Aaron Rodgers a gift, please don't bother with a 70's porn mustache he's all set in that department.