Hit and Run Headlines 11-25-2024

With the... And run the lines!

84% of Americans say they'll have turkey on Thanksgiving.

Not RFK Junior, though.

He's having whatever dead animal he finds on the road that particular morning.

Have you heard about KFC?

They're now selling wrapping paper that tastes like chicken.

You know, now, maybe, just maybe, they can focus on selling chicken that tastes like chicken for God's sakes.

Caramel standards.

This lickable wrapping paper stuff.

It's perfect for the man you're giving Pizza Hut cologne to, because believe me, they make that too.

Egg prices were up 30% in October.

It's gotten so bad that the fairy tale, the goose that laid the golden eggs could just be called the goose that laid the regular eggs, because they cost about as much

Cambridge is gold.

The Cambridge Dictionary's word of the year manifests.

I'll use it in a sentence.

Cambridge is trying to manifest the idea that people still care about dictionaries.

Today is National Play Day with Dad, a day when children are encouraged to spend time engaging in activities with their fathers.

Or as it's known in Nick Cannon's world, the longest day

ever.

New York has decriminalized adultery.

I have never been prouder to be a resident of New York, cried Bill Clinton.

Ellen DeGeneres has now moved to England.

And fun fact, when you abuse employees in England, you do it on the other side of the conference table.

It's kind of like driving.

Do you know that over half of us are okay with fast food on a first date?

Don't get cocky, okay?

You cheap skates, because the first date no-no file remains pretty thick.

For instance, I have a few examples for you.

These things are still unacceptable on a first date, like making her act as a lookout while you steal copper from a construction site.

That's still frowned upon.

Keeping your AirPods in is kind of a no-no.

paying for the meal with a coupon.

That has never been cool.

Never burping your name unless you're, you know, out with fellow trailer trash, arriving on an e-scooter.

That would look pretty cool.

And of course, bringing your spouse.

That doesn't look good.

All right, that's all I got.

This is the Water's Makeup Call.

with the water so we go home.

Never saw him.

He was

basically hitting me.

On Louisville 5-7, K.O.K.Z.

Iowa's classic cast.