Who used all the Wi-Fi?
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station apartments.
Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included.
A great central downtown location.
One to five bedroom apartments.
And no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station apartments.
Now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?
Hey,
Mike Waters here from the Waters Wake Up Call.
Hope you're having a fantastic weekend.
Oh, and what a week.
Friday was stupid guy thing day, so I think we proved once again how stupid guys
are.
I got one for ya.
Why am I not surprised?
I convinced my little sister when I was 10, she was like 5, to all go into the hog pen at my grandpa's farm.
with about 50 some hogs and just like mess around with them smacking them and running around and my grandpa he found out about it and he he comes out and he just whooped our butts he goes those things can eat you alive.
Bingo hog wild diamond.
Yeah and it still haunts me to this day if we would have fell over we were just running around.
If
you had fallen down, what exactly would have happened to
you?
They'd eat everything but my teeth and fingernails.
Man, if that would have happened,
I'd want to
see the
video.
Oh, gosh.
When I was young, I drank like a fish.
My friend Gary said, let's go drive through this cemetery.
Okay.
I mean, we're drunk.
His car went into a headstone.
Oh, no.
To this day, wherever he moves, he says his house is possessed, lights flickered, weird sounds.
I think he anchored some spirit from within the headstone there and I went there one night to the house when they brought over the paranoia people the paranoia people yeah the ones who do check the paranormal and the meters went through the roof man wow
So has the spirit done anything really nasty?
Well,
if she likes Beavis and Butthead, I'm sure she'll keep it on sports if Troy Aikman and Joe Buck are
broadcasting.
My wife and I were trying to put some tea posts in for some fencing out on acres we had for our horses.
Okay.
And we had a little bit of a slope and bank alongside this creek and I couldn't quite hold the, get the hammer up, the sledge hammer up high enough to pound it in.
So I tossed her into sitting on my shoulders and I held the stake post and she was swinging it, mounting it in, got the first one in five.
The second post, when she took a swing, she missed the post, came down and hit me in the face.
Oh, are you serious?
A sledgehammer in the face?
Yeah, I did all that.
So you were dumb and got dumber?
Yeah.
So I did all
I could to keep from falling over, making sure she didn't fall down too hard because it was going to go down.
Cool, yeah.
Yeah, it was.
Wow.
Stupid, you know.
So how was your face?
I had a little bit of a dogging for a little while, but I mean, it was a 16-pound sledgehammer.
Well, I bet it was an improvement on your looks.
I never am.
No, that's probably good.
All I can hear now is...
What do you do if your ladder doesn't breach?
Being a stupid guy, you know what I would say?
Get the nearest neighbor.
Who's a guy?
And you have them stand on the ladder, and then you stand on his shoulders.
And if that doesn't work, you know, you grab more neighbors or whatever you need to get to where you need to go.
Why do you
ask?
When my 40-foot ladder wouldn't reach to Shingala Church, people, I chained another 14-foot ladder to it.
Oh, well, you know what?
I guess that works, too.
That seems pretty smart.
I'll bet that worked, right?
It did, and I ended up using it a second time to work on a green bin.
Wow, see?
We're not so stupid as men.
How did the second time go?
I'm just curious.
Well, it was pretty
good.
I was trying to take a sign off for sentimental reasons.
And my mother and wife were watching from a neighbor's yard, and my mother was telling the neighbor about the time I had
worked on the steeple and as I was coming down my wife said to my mother, don't you see the chain this time?
And if I'm being brutally honest, that is a stupid thing.
But you know what?
If you're doing it, if you're doing it in the proximity of a church that covers you.
I think so.
Yep.
I think that's, I think that's it.
Well, actually it was my stupid uncle story.
My mother told me when they were young and they lived in the country on a big dairy farm, they decided that they were going to make their own airplane because they had a brother that was serving across, serving in World War Two.
Yeah.
And so they made their own airplane and put it on the.
roof of the garage and put their younger brother in it and pushed it off.
Oh that is just plain stupid.
Yeah it was and they couldn't figure out why it wouldn't fly.
Well little brother broke his collarbone.
And how old were they when they did this?
Uh, probably about 10 or
12.
You know, I hope since then they've seen YouTube and all of the people who tried to figure out how to fly before the Wright brothers figured it out.
You know, you see all those crazy contraptions, the bike.
Oh, I know.
The bike thing, the pedal and the the wings flap and the
one that had to look like the umbrella that went around and it all went up and down.
Yes, I know that one too.
Absolutely.
I don't know if anybody's going to beat that story.
They also pulled another good one.
They had a train track that went through the pasture and they got the bright idea there was a bunch of railroad ties laying there.
They thought they would stack the railroad ties on the track and they derailed the train in the pasture.
Oh wow
that's you know what I didn't think it could get worse but it got worse yeah good lord they were nasty little bugger so we have planes we have trains do we have any automobiles in any of these stories
well no but they one time hook the cat
milk pan to the electric sensor and every time the cat would take a licky get a shock and
it makes
the air stand up on it.
Geez!
What kind of... So these are your uncles?
My mom grew up in a large family.
Well they say if you have a lot of kids the brains are spread a little bit thin.
Or they're not, or they don't have anything to do so they just get into crap that they shouldn't get into.
So you got the plane, you got the train, and then you got the electrified cat.
Yeah.
So did the cat live?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
My mom told me the cat got to the point where he figured out he could look in between the pulses of electricity.
That's great.
Your uncles.
Thanks for the stories, man.
Yeah, my pleasure.
Thank you.
You know how you blow on hot things to keep it from getting too hot in your mouth?
Right.
While I blew on ice cream.
You blew on ice cream.
Now, did anybody see you blow on ice cream?
Yes, yes, my wife.
Okay, I'm dying to know what your wife said as you were blowing on ice cream, so it wasn't too hot entering your mouth.
She goes, what the heck are you doing?
And you said
it.
And I realized what I was actually doing, and I'm like...
I just never mind never
nothing nothing honey that's that's usually what I say if it's something embarrassing nothing honey I'm fine don't come in the room I'm all good yeah
so that was my most embarrassing time and it's happened more than once and I don't know I just don't catch it or whatever I just
thinking it's too hot for my mouth or something
Well,
maybe you could have told your wife, yeah, it's just, it's not as cold as I'd like it to be.
So you're blowing on it to cool it off even more.
That's for next time.
Yes, Michael, you have a good day.
Keep good work up.
Having boys is like, and more than a few in the house, I love diminishing returns.
The more boys you have in the house, the stupider things they do.
So today is my youngest son's 33rd birthday, and I recall him a few days in New Year's Eve, a few days after I brought a whole new pants that, going out with his buddies, are walking up and down the street banging spoons and stuff against my brand new cookware.
And another time my daughter had guys at the house, they're all standing around and I had a brand new knife set and a brand new ceramic sink and they were tossing apples in the air and like trying to slice them and at the same time, one boy like, okay, he's on the down swing.
He took my knife and hit the sink and not only chipped the new sink, but he also chipped my new knife.
I'm surprised your son with that kind of sense has made it to 33
Wow,
well, I hope he's not anywhere near here because I don't want any part of them But you're saying you're saying is the more boys you have the more stupid it
gets because when you put
when you put dumb brains together I think the dumb just gets bigger.
I think that's why
There should be a movie.
All right, Newt, you're the stupid one in the
story.
Oh, yeah, pretty much.
OK.
Yeah.
I heard her scream.
I heard him scream.
He came running out through and buttoned the screen door out trying to get out of the house.
Do you know how long it takes to fight a snake that your son dropped in the basement?
Oh, no.
Oh, that has levels to it, Newt.
Levels.
And not just basements and main floors and upstairs, but... I still get reminded of it today.
Let me ask you this.
How long were you married before you figured out your wife was afraid of snakes?
We've been married almost 39 years and I still haven't figured it out.
No, no.
You see, that's, I don't know much, but I do know that if I bring a snake in or tell anybody to bring a snake in and show my wife, I will hear screams of plenty and she'll have me sleeping with the snakes.
That's what I'll be, you know, sleeping in the yard with the bull heads and the garter snakes and all those.
Oh, I tell you, we, uh, we live out in the country and I'm constantly catching bull snakes and stuff like that out there.
We're all still boys at heart.
Yeah, we are.
I know, I know.
Men are still stupid bulls.
Boys, absolutely.
Anyway, you have a great day, Mike.
All right, now this next stupid guy thing story is one of my favorites ever.
It's from 2020, the first time I did this.
And this is Wendy talking about something her husband, Trucker Randy, did.
My husband did.
That was probably the stupidest thing he ever did.
I'm dying to hear.
Well, I was mowing the yard and he was setting out to bend a pole in half.
Yeah.
Because it wasn't going to fit in his truck.
So as I walked underneath our kids' swing set,
He decided to crack that hole over the top of the swing set, thought it would fold.
Yeah.
And instead, it hit me upside of the head.
Oh no.
And knocked me out cold.
And the neighbor was watching over the fence.
And he said, oh my god, is she all right?
Should we call an ambulance?
And he said, no, she's fine.
You were out cold?
Yeah.
I bet he's still paying for that, isn't
he?
No.
Not so much.
I kind of forget about it until we bring up something stupid that he does.
Well, right.
I'm glad I reminded you of that this morning.
Now, the following year, 2021, Trucker Randy, the husband from the last story, called in and gave us his side.
Well, we are in our early 20s and we had a house we're cleaning up the backyard.
There was a pole about 15, 18 feet long.
And I thought, well, I'll just bend this over the kids' swing set.
And then I could get in my pickup.
Sure.
Well, my wife had me walking by and I wasn't paying no attention.
I jumped on the pipe and the swing set tipped over and hit her in the back of the head and knocked her out.
Jeez.
And then the neighbor.
Yeah, my neighbor.
Yeah, he was watching.
He said, yeah, you got it.
You did an ambulance?
I said, nah, she'll be all right once she wakes up.
Once she wakes up.
Oh
boy.
I laughed at crap.
And I went, of course, I went to help her, you know, she was unconscious and then she
I told her what happened and she needed to say she wasn't very happy with me.
I haven't done anything that stupid since then.
Yeah, I'm sure it taught you right away.
Boom.
Don't don't be stupid around this lady.
Now whenever she's out in the yard with me, she just wears a hard hat.
Smart
woman.
You married a smart woman, Trucker Randy.
Weekday mornings, 5 30 to
Oh, the
Wi-Fi!
Ah, apartment life.
Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.
Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.
Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station apartments.
Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer.
Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.
That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.
Union Station apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.
Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?