Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
has a chance to qualify for the June presidential debate.
Well, it looks like the worm has turned for this guy, doesn't it?
Las Vegas was the number one Memorial Day destination, probably because so many people wanted to see that giant sphere, you know, Garth
International Space Station was visible over the weekend.
I thought I found it, but as it got bigger, I realized it was another door from a Boeing.
Daily use of weed in the U.S.
now exceeds daily alcohol use.
In other news, America changed its name to the United States of Colorado.
A surgeon will transplant a live head on a dead body.
Now, if he succeeds, it will be the biggest medical miracle since Keith Richards turned 30, and then 40, and then 50, et cetera, et cetera.
The first ever millennial is set to become a Catholic saint.
That's right, there's now going to be a patron saint of I can't even.
The study shows 40% of recent college graduates aren't using their degree.
The study has a margin of error of plus or minus every philosophy major ever.
Scientists now say that crows can count up to four.
That's almost as much as the average wrestling fan, I do believe.
So I guess we can go ahead and add this to the list of things that differentiate crows from Rob Gronkowski.
New research shows Ozympic may help with kidney disease, especially if your kidneys are really, really fat.
Rudy Giuliani turns 80 today, and if you want to get him a gift, you can't go wrong with a box of non-drip hair dye.
You'd love that.
Today is National Hamburger Day, so grill one up, and the origins of the hamburger are fairly unclear, actually, much like the origins of the meat hamburger chain
A Minnesota family got brain worms after eating undercooked bare meat.
And once again, I'm thankful for my lifelong policy of always ordering my bare meat well done.
And finally, Brittany Spears posted a nude photo on the beach.
Hopefully she didn't get sand in her crack or her butt.
All
right, that's all I got.
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