HIT AND RUN HEADLINES 1-18-2024

Hey, it's waters from the waters wake-up call You know if you're trying to keep up with your current events and get them all in the matter of like three minutes You got to check out the hidden run headlines weekday morning 650 and 910 plus the waters wake-up call fake studio audience thinks they're hilarious

200 million active websites on the internet.

Yeah, 200 million in 17 if you don't count the pornography, but

a lot of

websites.

Experts think Russia is winning the war with Ukraine because if they said otherwise, Vladimir Putin would have them

executed.

Scientists

say dinosaur fossils found in New Mexico are a new T-Rex species.

In honor of where it was found, it would be called the T-Meth.

The Red Cross declared a blood shortage.

Without blood, how will we restore color to our face after those bikini pics of Martha Stewart drain it?

How's that going?

Lockheed Martin unveiled a new supersonic jet.

In response, Boeing unveiled their new product, a plane that doesn't fall apart in the air.

Hey, you know, you can now buy a $200 toy car that cleans the floor while your kids ride it around the house.

Apparently, that's why we're so far behind the Chinese.

I mean, they can get kids to work for way cheaper.

Way cheaper.

High phones and... You know, today is National Thesaurus Day.

Couldn't they have come up with a better name for that?

And what's another word for thesaurus?

And they were you.

So most people say they need about $94,000 a year to feel financially independent.

Except if you live in New York City where you need $94,000 just for your monthly rent on a studio apartment.

Or if you're in radio, boy, $20,000 would sure be nice.

Sure be nice.

There's now a Hidden Valley Ranch flavored lip balm on the market.

I know you're going crazy.

I'm sure this stuff will sell out in Iowa in just no time.

But just to be on the safe side, I wouldn't put it on if you're anywhere near Chris Christie.

No doubt it's going to reunite at Coachella.

Now that the band is older, they'll be playing songs like I'm Just a Middle-Aged Woman and Spider-Man.

and don't speak about reverse mortgages.

Did you hear that CBS is ending the good doctor?

So I guess he wasn't all that good after

all,

was he?

Martin Scorsese's next movie will be about Jesus, and one of his eyebrows will have a cameo as the burning bush.

All right, that's

all I got.

5-7, KOKZ.