You know, a bomb washed ashore, a California beach, authorities promptly returned it to its rightful home on Nick Cage's IMDB page.
That's where all the bombs belong.
The president of Harvard resigned for plagiarism.
Asked if she worries about her future, she said, the only thing I have to fear is fear itself.
Yeah.
And of course, she sent the exact same resignation letter as the last Harvard president to quit.
That's what you'd expect, I guess.
Salt Lake City is one of the best cities to live in for keeping your New Year's resolutions, especially if your resolution is to be bored to death.
South Korean opposition leader Lee Jae Myung was stabbed in the neck.
That's right, stabbed in the neck during a press conference.
Sounds like in that country when politicians say talking to the media is a huge pain in the neck.
Apparently they mean it literally.
Today is National Spaghetti Day.
I don't celebrate it, but I feel like I used it in a pasta life.
I didn't think that would go over very well.
Queen Margrette of Denmark announced she's going to step down.
I didn't even know she stepped up, but she spent 50 years on the throne, kind of like you or me after Chipotle.
And her replacement?
Duh, Ryan Seacrest.
As if you didn't know.
Cops in Ohio caught a pig on the loose at McDonald's.
It's yet more proof that pigs are attracted to slop.
The value of X, talking about Twitter, the old Twitter.
X Twitter, I guess you could say, down 70% since Elon Musk took over.
You know a guy hasn't destroyed a brand like this since Russell Wilson joined the Broncos?
Labito in male mice has been linked to a single brain circuit and Labito in male humans has been linked to a single glimpse of Scarlett
study shows major cities on the East Coast slowly sinking, and this mainly occurs when Chris Christie visits.
Jeremy Renner visited the hospital that treated his snow plow injury.
Moments later, he was hit by an ambulance.
He's cursed.
He's cursed, I tell you.
The Kiss Holograms will make their stage debut in 2027.
Then by 2035, Hologram Peter and Hologram Ace will be fired and replaced by look-alike Holograms.
Michael Steiff turns 64 today, and now we all know what the frequency is.
It's AM.
It's now what you listen to when you get old, you go to AM.
But you're young, you can keep it on the FM.
Jimmy Kimmel is threatening to sue Aaron Rodgers for saying he expects to see Kimmel on the Jeffrey Abstein list.
The ironic thing about Aaron Rodgers making an accusation like that is the only more embarrassing list to be on is the list of New York Jets quarterbacks.
NFL, find, I tell you, Carolina Panthers owner David Tepper, $300,000 after he was seen on video throwing a drink at Jaguar's fans from his luxury box.
It marks the first thing thrown all season by someone associated with the Panthers that actually hit its intended
And finally, Snoop Dogg is joining the NBC team covering the 2024 Paris Olympics.
I know I told you that yesterday, but you probably didn't believe it, so I thought I should retell you today.
And Snoop would also compete in the games, but synchronized splitting is not an event.
He'll cover skeet skeet skeet shooting instead.
Yeah, that's all I