Shows›The Waters Wake Up Call with Mike Waters›5 Things You Didn't Know You Needed to Hear! 12-14-2023›Transcript

Transcript

5 Things You Didn't Know You Needed to Hear! 12-14-2023

The Waters Wake Up Call with Mike Waters · Thu Dec 14, 2023

A bird that's half male and half female has been spotted in Colombia.

If you'd like to read more about it, don't bother going to a Florida public library because you'll get just out of life.

A new study claims that the cost of the American dream is $3.4 million.

As a result, most Americans are living the Haitian dream.

It's the most wonderful time of the year, was ranked the most popular holiday song in West Virginia.

It just barely beat out Rudolph roasting over an open fire.

A study shows a wider waistline is linked to a weaker memory.

Well, I have to say, I think that's completely... Wait, what were we talking about?

We'll go back to it.

A survey found that 84% of Americans are angrier today than a generation ago.

But looking at the size of those 84% of Americans, hangrier is a much more accurate description.

Jennifer Aniston says that right before his death, Matthew Perry was multiple choice A, happy, B, healthy, or C, sick and tired of hearing about Taylor Swift.

I have to go with C on that.

Mariah Carey released a new video for All I Want for Christmas.

It's perfect for people who can't get enough of that song, so nobody, I believe.

Nobody?

I think that's it.

Kid Rock announced he has done boycotting Bud Light.

However, he is still boycotting showers,

don't get too close.

Kevin Costner and Jewel appear to be dating.

This is huge news to readers of Us Weekly from 1998, I

believe.

Bill Belichick will reportedly leave the Patriots at the end of the season.

He's already started packing his 27 hoodies.

And the timing is good because his mother always told him to leave a place in the same condition it was when you got there.

Researchers say having two kids makes you live longer.

But don't just reproduce to add years to your life.

Also do it for, well, they're the right size to retrieve your vape pen under the sofa.

They remind you what life is all about.

A tax

break.

You can use them as an excuse to get out of doing terrible things, except going to Disneyland.

On that, you're kinda screwed, really.

Yeah.

Finally, if they become an athlete, you can start with them in a chunky ad soup commercial.

Chunky soup commercial.

That's it.

That's what

I meant to

say.

That's all I got.

Who used all the Wi-Fi?

Ah, apartment life.

Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.

Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.

Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.

Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?

This

is crazy.

A couple of idiots, a couple of idiots argued that their theft at a coals, a local coals store, should have been considered a misdemeanor rather than a felony.

You know why?

Huh?

You know why?

Because with coupons, they stole less than $2,000 worth of merchandise.

In Colorado, any theft that is $2,000 and more is automatically a felony.

So the fact that they had coupons made it less than $2,000.

Well, anyway, here is Eric Ross.

He's a spokesperson for the 18th Judicial District Attorney's Office explaining the defense's legal strategy.

Ah, the intelligence involved here.

The defense argued and tried to convince a jury that these two defendants should not be convicted of felony theft, but rather a misdemeanor charge.

We argued that

It didn't really matter if the items were on sale or were discounted.

Those discounts and sales prices should apply to paying customers only, not thieves.

Yeah, it makes sense to

me.

I don't know about you, but it certainly makes sense.

Second thing.

Some people are roasting these gender reveal things.

I just think they should go away.

Well, there was a gender reveal video of a couple in Oklahoma.

They found out inside of an ice bath.

This is Kaya Jub and her husband breaking the ice of an outdoor ice bath, jumping in and having the water change to pink while in the bath to reveal.

Of course, they're having a girl.

Listen.

Cool.

Oh my goodness.

Oh yeah.

That's a lot of light.

Oh, it's cold.

I'm ready.

Go ahead, Dad.

They were blue when they came out of the ice, but I don't know I think these gender reveal so many people getting injured and hurt and

This

was a passenger who filmed a Delta employee and actually at the check-in gate spreading the holiday cheer by by singing a little Christmas classic

listen

Yes,

uh, yes, uh, it's very nicely done.

Maybe go for, uh, I don't know, America's Got Talent or one of those shows people don't seem to get famous on.

That's, I'm just suggesting that.

Here's

another nice one.

I'm trying to include all the nice stuff I possibly can, especially this close to the holidays.

For 39 years, a musician has been bringing joy to southeastern New England by dressing up as Santa and playing Christmas songs throughout the area.

This is Kevin McMahon talking about being saxophone Santa for almost 40 years.

southeastern Connecticut, they know me as saxophone Santa.

And

this is my 39th year playing in throughout Connecticut and Rhode Island.

The most requested song is Jingle Bells.

Seeing the magic of Christmas and the magic of Santa, immediate smiles.

That's

awesome to mix music with Santa Claus.

I'm sure the kids just go crazy for that way to go, man.

And

finally...

All

right, so finally I really feel like I need to It's it's it's my continuing effort to try and keep it real Well here is an ordinary kids letter to Santa so I'll just I'll let it speak for itself

now an ordinary kids real letter to

Santa

Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm concerned about your weight.

I mean, mom says your BMI is off the chart and you're right for a coronary, whatever that is.

instead of cookies, mom is putting out KO chips and oat milk.

you know,

it's terrible.

This year, I don't want anything for Christmas except for you to be healthier.

I want you to be around at least until I'm 11, okay?

And maybe stop sneaking into people's houses.

They call that a home invasion.

That can't be good, Santa.

P.S.

I lied about not wanting anything.

You know what I want.

Love you, Santa!

This has been an ordinary kid's real letter to Santa.

Merry Christmas!

Ah, doesn't it just warm your holiday insides?

It sure does me.

There you go, and I think that's five things.

Five

things you didn't know you needed to hear.

This is the water's wake-up call.

On Royal 577 K-O-K-Z.