MORNING MELTDOWN: Mikes Fob Sob Story

Hey, how we doing?

It's Mike Waters from the Waters Wake Up Call.

Thank you for clicking and downloading and listening to the morning meltdown.

We'll have the hit and run headlines, the five things you didn't know you needed to hear, and the bright side will be coming up here in a matter of moments.

But first, this morning I was talking about my keys.

I couldn't find my keys, and I had this, I have this fob.

No key, it's just a fob.

You can start your car as long as it's in the car with you.

I think it should

least at least have a key backup for this thing but but there's not but anyway my car started this morning it shouldn't have because apparently the key was not in my car I didn't know this until I pulled up at work and and how did this how did my car start with not having the fob in the car or is the anyway I I kind of went through it all with Mrs. Waters so let's let's give her a call quick

Hello?

Mrs. Waters!

Hi!

Hi!

How's my lovely bride?

Good, how are you?

I'm doing good.

I'm doing good, you know, a little better than when I got here this morning, you know, but... Yeah.

Yeah, still... I'm still a little insane from all of that, frantically looking for my keys.

I

know, yeah.

I spent it some four.

I know.

Did I... Was I able to tell you the full story?

No, and I still don't understand how you got the car to work drive yourself.

Well, here's what happened, and I don't know.

I started the car fine this morning, drove to work, pulled into the parking...

turned off the car and then go to pick up my keys.

No keys.

How could this be?

I need my keys to start my car.

The key, and again, one of those key fobs for those who don't know, no key in the ignition.

The fob just needs to be with you for your car to start.

So the key has to be somewhere, doesn't it?

I look everywhere under the seats and the glove compartment and the divider compartment everywhere in the gas tank under a tire maybe.

It's gotta be here.

and how can how can my car start without this fob so I say to myself start the car and you'll know 100% that it is here somewhere well guess what car doesn't start my key fob must have been I don't know close enough to my car at home for it to start but it's really confusing because as the car gets farther from the key you get a warning sound and a flash of light but that didn't happen so I'm confused

I'm frustrated, in addition to my fob being on that key ring, so is my key to get into the station.

So there I am, dark parking lot.

3.30, stuck, so I call an Uber to bring me home, get my keys, then turn around and bring me back.

I couldn't find the keys at home, and you've been looking.

I

haven't worked for the keys.

And you don't find them anywhere.

Not yet.

God.

One of

those lanyards where you just wear your keys around your back.

So maybe that's what I need to do.

I need to be five years old.

Well?

You need to treat me as one of your children.

It's

OK.

I know.

Like that'd be a change, right?

I know.

I was helping you out there.

But

I'm the oldest by like 30 years.

Well, how do we solve all these things when nothing else can be done?

Two words.

What?

Oh, well.

Oh, well.

There we go.

Yep.

Oh well.

Oh well.

We'll just move on with our day, I guess, won't we?

Yes, we will.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Waters.

You know, she puts up with me.

She's a saint, let me tell you.

And after a day like this, let's get into this right

now.

Let's look on the bright side with Mike Waters on 1057 KOKZ.

Sponsored by Walden Collision Center.

So let me tell you about this guy from Toledo, Ohio.

Holy Toledo!

This guy is cool.

Taking neighborhood beautification into his own hands.

What he's doing is mowing grass at overgrown, abandoned properties and vacant lots.

Just to make the community look better.

So his name is Brett Fry, along with his best buddy.

He's spent the last few weeks providing a free service to uplift his community and just spread happiness.

He says this is all for the joy of making someone else happy, he says.

He also estimates that they've already spruced up around 10 to 15 properties.

His acts of kindness haven't gone unnoticed, with neighbors taking note and saying how they appreciate his work.

He believes that one by one we can all make a difference if we just decide to, and that is Mr. Fry in his own words.

And even though Fry the man isn't looking for financial compensation for his acts of kindness,

asking nothing for the work he's doing.

He does get the occasional donation from community members who value his work, which Fry says he appreciates more than anything.

So through his actions, Fry is proving how small acts.

It doesn't take a huge

huge act of kindness.

A lot of people think, well, I don't know.

I just don't have that much money.

You know, I can't do much.

You don't have to do much.

Just a small act of kindness can transform neighborhoods one mode lawn at a time.

So thank you for that.

Thank you for the Bright Side today, Mr. Brett Fry of Toledo, Ohio.

And there is your Bright Side sponsored by Walton Collision Center on Highway 151 in Fairfax.

Walton Collision Center,

Their quality is their priority.

Yeah, I'll take a side of bright, please, as well.

That'd be, that'd be delicious.

Actually, I have no time.

I have to hit and run.

But before we get into that, the morning meltdown has a sponsor.

So I'm able to line my pockets a little bit.

I may have to buy a new key at some point.

So, uh, I'll do the hit and run headlines right after this.

Today's show is brought to you by the debt ceiling.

Now that we've agreed to raise it, we just have to agree on what color to paint it.

The debt ceiling.

You know, if I was to choose the color of the debt ceiling, I think

I'd go for black.

That's what I would do.

All right, on with the hit and runs.

So police in Mexico discovered 45 bags of human remains in ravine.

So yeah, it was kind of a slow day in Mexico.

This year's Spelling Bee winner correctly spelled Samophile.

And by the way, it has a silent P at the beginning, Samophile.

And I'll use it in a sentence.

If you can spell Samophile, you are a geek.

So there's a guy named Richard Ostfeld, and he's immune to tick-borne diseases, and ticks actually die when they bite him.

He's both an incredibly interesting scientific specimen and the least useful Avenger.

The bird flu virus is spreading and changing rapidly.

Officials still don't think it's a danger to humans, but I'm getting out of my puzzles, my bread maker, as well as starting my toilet paper hoarding just in case.

You never know.

A chatbot was disabled because it was giving harmful medical advice.

Well, what do you know?

See, Dr. Oz, you too can be replaced by AI.

He also gives dangerous, harmful medical advice.

Business Insider says that AI is creating a generational divide between millennials and boomers.

But didn't Dubstep already do that?

Wasn't that...

San Francisco has been named the best city for running, which is perfect for residents who A, want to stay fit, B, want to get some fresh air, or C, flee the scene after robbing a Walgreens.

Sweden is going to be hosting the first-ever European sex championship this week, and the audience can vote.

It'll only be available on pay-per-view, by the way, so...

Mike Pence is going to be announcing that he's officially running for president on Wednesday, which is just what presidential politics has been missing, an old white guy.

A judge struck down Tennessee's anti-drag bill.

Were there celebrations afterwards?

Just try finding glitter at any craft store in the state this morning.

I'll bet you can't.

According to a new survey, sending text to the wrong person tops the list of modern life mishaps.

A close second, of course, would be falling flat on your face at the Air Force Academy Commencement.

Tom Hanks says he's been in some movies that he hates.

Even more shocking, Nick Cage says he's been in some that he likes.

And finally, Tara Reid says being single killed her career.

The fact she said that, she said, the fact she said this while smoking crack makes me think there were probably some other reasons as well.

And maybe that's what I'm doing this morning.

Maybe that's where I'm fouled enough, but that's all I got.

We hit, we ran, we kicked its butt.

Anyway, oh, you know, I've got the five things you didn't know you needed to hear that's coming up But first I see a phone ringing maybe maybe another helpful listener and a suggestion as to how to find my keys

Maybe

you

know

what I'm gonna try that wouldn't that be funny if it was just as simple as that that would prove how simple I am too I guess

That's maybe a mightism.

Yeah, I think so.

Waters has water on the brain, maybe.

Oh, there you go.

Well, good luck finding them, because if they're not underneath your car now, they've got to be where you backed out onto the street.

I'll have to look, because maybe they walked out of the car.

They could have.

They are the keys.

They can get out any door.

Um, yeah.

But thank you for

calling, all of you.

All

right, you two, and thanks for the help.

All right, let's get into them five things.

Five things

you didn't

know you needed

to hear.

How would you like to get rich in three?

Simple steps.

Okay, well they're obvious steps.

I don't know if they're easy.

Step one, spend less than you make.

Work to earn more money.

That is step two.

Step three, invest what you don't spend.

So again, fairly obvious.

Second thing.

Let's talk about Sweden.

And, uh, okay, I said it was about the Olympics.

It's not going to become part of the Olympics.

It'd be fun, though, but only Sweden is going to be doing this.

So it'd be tough to do it in the Olympics.

But anyway, they have registered sex as a sport and they're going to host the first ever sex championship.

So and they're the first country to do so.

And of course it'd be Sweden, right?

Later this week, they're going to be hosting that sex championship.

There will be

16 disciplines and includes seduction, massage, and then the full-on... You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

But I'll tell you what, I'd certainly win a gold medal if it was in the Olympics.

Don't check that with Mrs. Waters.

She'd probably say something like, oh, he'd be lucky to win cardboard.

Give us this

thing.

Let's talk about this.

These influencers are stupid.

Like this guy, this happened in Bush Gardens in Tampa, Florida, of course, Florida.

And they are now Bush Gardens working with authorities after this influencer jumped into their alligator exhibit to make a video.

So this is a clip from this video that the man known as Juba, he made.

All

right guys, so today we're gonna be jumping into the crocodile exhibit.

Ooh, krikey, mate.

This is insane.

Let's get a closer look, shall we?

Just to see how it is.

We have never been this close to the alligator.

The crocodiles, guys.

Krikey!

Look how big that bugger is!

We are exploring the Amazon rainforest.

This is re-

Yeah, do you

hear the people yelling at him, you idiot?

Get out of there.

He sustained no injuries, although I kinda wish he had.

Here's

another dope, this boater.

Just take this as a word of caution.

Just don't drink and boat.

Arrested in charge with driving under the influence after being caught passed out at the helm and then seen barreling towards a crowded beach.

He claimed not to have consumed any alcohol, even though there were empty beer cans in plain sight.

Here's the moment.

Two sheriffs interrogated him, along with his also passed out passenger.

Where'd you park?

An alibi river off 41.

Do you know where you are now?

Right now, I think we're way out of the way.

OK.

How much have you had to drink?

We have no alcohol.

I'm looking at an empty beer can.

You dope?

No problem.

Scientists

are saying that robots could soon go into full Terminator mode after inventing realistic human-like self-healing skin.

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My multi-layer film feels as soft as a human infant's posterior.

It moisturizes while you try to eliminate the human species from the planet.

Hasta la vista!

Jurgen's new hydrating lotion for cyborgs.

After just one application, you'll be so satisfied, you'll say,

I'll be back.

Hey, I don't think that's a very good idea.

And I think that's five things.

I gotta tell you those are five of the finest things I've ever heard.

How do you top something like that?

Well, you know, I am still looking for my key fob that I lost this morning.

Oh, just just a rough frustrating morning, but you helped me so much.

I thank you for that.

Let's take another

call.

them tied to me at all times.

Right.

Well, then I'd never be able to sneak up on Mrs. Waters.

You hear the jingling?

Well.

Then what fun is life?

If you can't sneak up to your wife, what fun is life?

It rhymes because it's true.

It just screwed your whole morning up.

Now, I feel discombobulated.

And that's a word I don't use every day, Farmer Dave.

Discombobulated.

I've never heard that word before, so I guess

I'm

straight now, and I've never heard that

one.

Now, you want your morning to be combobulated, not discombobulated.

You laid

it.

Okay, okay.

Hi, Mike.

How you

doing?

Hey, well, I had better days.

How are you doing?

Good.

Yeah.

Well,

you have to have the key fob as close as you possibly can get it to the button, to that little button.

Yes.

That has happened.

But again, if your battery goes dead enough, that will no longer start the car.

Because I've been in that situation before and what happened was I was able to get the car started.

But then it started within a mile started flashing the no access key and making this warning sound and I thought well, what is my car gonna do?

Is it just gonna shut down what's happening?

That was part of the confusion this morning, too.

If my fob wasn't in the car, and if it was in range enough for it to start, how come I didn't get the warning sign in the sound?

It's a very confusing morning.

Yeah, I've even had my key in the back seat.

My car still won't start.

Me, too.

It's been in my work bag, right there in the front seat.

And I've got to take it out, and I've got to put it in that midsection, middle section there, and then it's fine.

But God, frustrating.

My God.

Yeah, where

would this key then be at, Mr. Specialist?

I

went to the grocery store, got stuff for the week, got home, and I don't know what I did with my keys.

I don't

know.

Uh, I looked- I looked in my pants.

Yep, I looked in- I didn't- I had a t-shirt on so it wouldn't be in a shirt.

I looked in the pants pockets that I wore yesterday.

Now

if I knew where I set the keys, I'd probably know where my keys are.

Like, come on, man!

Well, right.

Yeah, I mean, I should look in the cupboards in the fridge and the freezer and all of that because it could be in there because once I'm done with the same looking in the same places.

I look in the insane places.

They're right where you left them.

Yes, of course they're there.

They'll be in the last place you looked.

No,

you just have to backtrack.

Right.

Right.

I brought I came home and I put the stuff away and I don't know.

I don't know.

You're super G. You're super DJ.

You're going to figure it out.

Oh, and with that, I have to thank you for the immense help with the keys.

I still haven't found them, but I do appreciate your help, and hopefully I'll find them when I get home.

I'll let you know tomorrow.

I'll get on all those details.

But until then, have a great day.

Thank you for clicking and downloading and listening to the Water's Wake Up Call Morning Meltdown.

I bid you adieu.

Every Monday through Friday, 5.30 to 10, right here.