Hey greetings.
Hi.
Howdy.
Welcome bonjour Buenos dias.
Good day.
Good morning.
Hiya.
How are you?
How goes it?
How do you do Shalom?
What's happening?
What's up?
It is Mike Waters here with the Waters wake up call morning meltdown for Monday May 15th And I just wanted to give you as many greetings as I could think of you know right off the top of my head since on Mondays you're lucky if you get a
after saying hello to somebody.
So all that, and you know, I just thought of two more.
Aloha and Ola.
Okay, on with the business at hand, we started off this morning talking about the original bar from Cheers being auctioned off.
Current bid, by the way, as of this broadcast, $100,000.
Wow.
Hey, I know where you could get a 100 grand bar for much cheaper, but I digress.
You know, this guy is talking about other items from other shows.
If you could own one item from any TV show, what would it be?
So we're going to get into some calls on that coming up as well as the five things you didn't know you needed to hear the hit and run headlines and we'll get into the bright side.
But first, how was your mother's day?
And now mom thoughts.
Another Mother's Day over.
And again, this year, I'm pretty sure my husband wasn't really into it.
Let's see if he enjoys my gift of apathy come Father's Day.
This has been Mom Thoughts.
Let's look on the bright side with Mike Waters on World Five Seven, KOKZ.
Sponsored by Wong Collision Center.
This happened in Michigan.
You have a teenager who's eight-year-old sister.
almost abducted.
And what this teenager did was he shot the assailant, but not with a gun.
He had a slingshot shot this alleged kidnapper and the slingshot injuries ended up being how police were able to find the suspect.
This is Lieutenant John Grimshaw with the Michigan State Police breaking down what happened with this alleged kidnapping.
The suspect had come through the woods and grabbed her.
like hand over the mouth, arm around the waist, and was attempting to pull her into the woods.
I mean, he really is the one that I believe saved his sister's either life or from something seriously bad happening to her.
You know, for a 14-year-old to see that and to pop into action that quickly is extraordinary.
It really is.
It's 14 years old.
Dark Side turned into a bright side.
That is certainly one of those stories.
Bonsered by Walton Collision Center on Highway 151 in Fairfax, Walton Collision Center, where quality is their priority.
Wow, what a kid, huh?
14 pretty impressive stuff.
Hey, and don't forget, tomorrow is Toon's Day and the topic will be, relive your past by listening to the first music you ever bought, no matter what it was, no excuses, day.
That's honestly what day it is tomorrow, so I thought we'd make it into a Tunes Day topic.
And it certainly warmed my tongue up.
So let's crash into some hit and run headlines, shall we?
So Elon Musk is gonna be stepping down as the CEO of Twitter.
Damn, you know Elon Musk likes firing people when Elon Musk fires Elon Musk?
It's not like I've been drinking.
Yesterday was Mother's Day, and if you didn't get a card from Nick Cannon, you're doing it wrong, apparently.
A 60-pound snapping turtle that lives in the Chicago River has been named Choncosaurus.
I mean, I would have gone with shell raiser, but whatever.
Whatever you want to do.
McDonald's was found liable for a hot chicken nugget that disfigured a person.
What?
McDonald's finally served something hot and we punished them.
I mean, come on.
The world's oldest dog turned 31.
Now when he chases a tennis ball, it's because it popped off the leg of his walker.
White Castle is giving away free sliders today for National Slider Day.
The only thing it will cost you is control of your bowels afterwards.
And as far as I know,
Well, there's no white castle anywhere near us.
A meteorite crashed into a New Jersey home while no one was hurt.
The family did suffer the catastrophic loss.
That's how a Jersey person would say catastrophic.
Would suffer the catastrophic loss of three Adidas track suits at a Camaro Z 28.
Sunday is by far the hardest night of the week for trying to get proper sleep.
Evidently not enough people know about ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball.
Ben Affleck was caught on video slamming the door to JLo's car, but not the trunk, because there was way too much junk.
The Writers Guild strike continues to be felt throughout the entertainment industry.
In fact, its reach has gotten so wide that I can't find the next line.
Where's the... Well, apparently it's gotten so bad it's affected the water's wake-up call.
That was unfitted.
The Tony Awards may be canceled due to the Writers Guild strike and will definitely be canceled if there's a strike by the Jazz Hands Guild.
Based on the Social Security Administration's annual list of baby names, a lot of parents are starting to name their kids after characters on Yellowstone.
Not surprisingly, my kids, Urkel and Screech, don't think that that's a great idea at all.
Tom Brady wished a very happy Mother's Day to the beloved mother of his children.
And this is a multiple choice.
A. Giselle Bunchin.
B. Bridget Monahan.
Or C. Rob Gronkowski.
That's all I got.
And with that I have to say today has really felt like a traffic accident.
I was crashing all over the place.
I don't know if you heard, but I even referred to the bright side as the dark side at one point.
When your day is going like that, there are two words you need to speak and the rest just kind of takes care of itself.
Those two words?
Oh well.
Hey, before we get into the five things you didn't know you needed to hear, let's go to the KOKZ lines and ask, what's the one item from a TV show you would like to have in your collection?
Hawkeye Pierce's
robe.
Hawkeye, that's a good one.
Yeah, I'm sure it's got all kinds of, uh, some vodka spills from the still on it.
Yep, yep.
Yeah, you'd want all of that stuff on the robe.
You would not want it cleaned beforehand.
Oh no, I don't want to be sitting in Archie Bunker's chair.
Or, you know, since I accidentally said dark side and said a bright side earlier, maybe something from the Mandalorian, the Star Wars TV show.
Yeah, I am some kind of nerf herder, let me tell you.
Michael.
Yes.
Focus.
I'm trying.
OK.
I'm back.
I'm back.
OK.
So
you're not good at multi-death.
No, I know.
Is that some kind of muscle memory where there's no muscle involved?
Just memory and the memory cramps out.
And I think I've coined the term psychological whoopsie.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm such a dope.
Well, it made me
laugh.
Oh,
I'm sure everybody was
laughing at me.
I'm sure, I'm sure.
There's the Mike Waters plate for you in the slip.
Yeah, maybe that's what I would have.
You'd have the robe, but I'd have the slip.
Ooh, how about Hot Lips' slip?
I think it
would be Jimmy Farr's.
Yeah, yeah, maybe.
Or it could be the Freedman's slip, since he was the psychologist of the... Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Well, it was fun.
You gave me my lap, but the day just wasn't due.
More calls on the way, and the five things you didn't know you needed to hear right after this word about coffee.
Spending too much for coffee, losing gasoline in the long coffee drive-through lane.
Now there's a way to...
Save money and time.
Now you can make your own coffee at home.
Huh?
Take a coffee filter, pour in coffee grounds, slide those into your own coffee maker.
Set it to brew, pour, and enjoy.
How does that taste?
Huh, like coffee!
And this may surprise you, a 12 ounce bag of the coffee shop coffee is available in stores and could save you hundreds of dollars a year by making your coffee at home.
What?
Get a home coffee maker today.
They're available now.
Alright with that, it's time to take five from your nine to five and check out these five things.
Somebody give me a-
High five.
Nice.
All right,
now tell me if this sounds sane to you.
There's a dog park in Montreal and they've officially banned barking.
How can you have a dog park without a dog bark?
How can you, cause that's how they communicate with each other.
The human equivalent would be like, uh, no talking in a bar.
It just, it can't be done.
So they're finding people now up to $2,000 for an infraction.
Two grand if you're dog barks.
Wow.
Here are dog owners, Melanie Richer and Tammy Peters talking about these, uh, these new stupid, stupid
rules.
My first reaction was what?
It's stressful, to be honest.
Always looking around to see if my dog is doing good, if she's not barking too much, and no, it's not fun anymore.
It's kind of
ironic to see a sign saying that we should prohibit our dogs from barking.
It's their way of communicating with one another, and there are some instances where they're obviously going to bark.
Even a dog is smarter than that day.
Strange Canadians.
Second thing.
So there's a YouTuber, and you know it's going to be a dumb story.
As soon as I say a YouTuber, this YouTuber purposefully crashed his plane for views.
And now he could be jailed for 20 years.
The guy's name, the idiot's name, sorry, is Trevor Jacob.
He's agreed to plead guilty to one count of destruction and concealments with the intent to obstruct a federal investigation.
And here's a clip from his video of the
crash.
Oh my gosh.
Give me out of this.
I guess I should probably document what's going on.
I cut my fingers pretty bad.
I cut my elbow.
I'm just so happy to be alive.
You're an idiot.
You're an absolute idiot.
What else can I tell you other than, let's see, what else can I tell you?
Oh yeah, you're an idiot.
Give us this third thing.
This third thing, this woman from New Jay-Z.
She woke up to find that her bank account had a negative balance.
of almost $100 billion.
The bank said that the mistake had something to do with her recently deceased husband.
But this is Patricia Conlon talking about the banking error she discovered.
I saw that there was a number there, a negative $99,999,999,999.
and 99 cent negative.
One of the people I spoke to mumbled something about a deceased account holder.
Did this person have $100 billion or what's up with that?
That's just stupid and you can take that to the bank.
Fourth wing, fourth
fix.
All right, so a McDonald's owner in Kansas attempted a world record breaking drive-through line at his restaurant last week, bringing over 300 participants.
This is El Dorado McDonald's owner, Bob Lane, talking about trying to break the record and then, of course, setting it all up.
About six months ago, they decided they were going to try to set a record in the drive food.
And so we went and looked it up.
And the best we could find was 300.
And so that's what we're trying to do today.
As you could tell, there was a lot of cars.
Traffic backed up on the highway all over a mile.
So 356 in an hour, that's moving a lot of cars.
That's better than one every 10 seconds.
Amazing deal.
Record, record breaking snuff.
You know, I have to say I'm loving it.
And
finally.
And finally.
The moment we've all been waiting for.
And the fifth thing you should
know.
So there's a new fitness trend.
There's always a new fitness trend, right?
A lot of people are embracing primal movement and imitating animals such as apes, bears, and crabs to get into shape.
There's even a new gym opening near us.
I believe this is opening somewhere around here.
The latest fitness trend is imitating primal movements like animals.
So if you're feeling like a fish out of water, come on over to Animal Planet Fitness.
Now you can
take the bull by the horns because our instructors will go ape if you don't finish your reps and we're eager beavers to get you hoppin' like a bunny.
At Animal Planet Fitness, we're letting the cat out of the bag where you can have a whale of a time and become strong as an ox.
Animal Planet Fitness, ignore the elephant in the room and get your ducks in a row because we have the lion's share of workouts just for you.
You'd think people would be going ape over that.
I mean, that would give you the eye of the tiger if something needs to.
You know, most things I think I look like an
ape while doing.
But I think there's five things.
Five things you didn't know you needed to hear.
This is the water's wake-up call from Royal 577 KMPZ.
It was clever.
Five.
That's five.
One more time.
Five things.
Hey, you know, before we wrap this sucka up, I think we need to take some more calls.
And I ask again, what's the one item from a TV show you would like to have in your collection?
Barney Fife's done.
That'd be something?
My dad, he didn't watch much TV, but he loved the Indigifit,
so.
That was and is quality.
TV.
I mean that's what 60 years later it holds up just perfectly.
Myself and my 5 year old watch it and he just loves it.
That's awesome.
Barney 5 is gone.
It's got to be in mint condition.
I don't think he ever fired it.
We're not on purpose anyway.
Oh
yeah, not on purpose.
There were accidents of course with Barney.
I like fall guys.
Yeah, would
you take it as is would you fix it up a little bit or what would you do?
I
was gonna actually
suggest Heather Thomas because I've had a couple of people now say Jennifer Aniston
I don't
even know who else was in the show to tell you the truth
The only thing I'd want off of any TV set would be Jennifer Aniston.
Jennifer Aniston.
I know Jennifer Aniston.
We went to kindergarten together.
You know, we had snack time.
Let me call her and see if she's on the auction.
I would appreciate that.
I've been trying to talk to her for a long time, but I keep getting people that I don't think serve.
Well, gosh, I wonder why it's so difficult.
Oh, it's very
difficult, Jennifer.
She's so much in demand.
Maybe she's stuck up.
I really don't think she's that.
I think she likes the people that appreciate her.
I think if I tell her that Carl appreciates her, she'll just bop on over and knock on your door at some point.
Oh, I would enjoy that.
She'd probably come over and say, you know what?
I like you, Carl, as a friend.
I think every guy would be in the friends
zone with her.
Maybe
you could take the bar and the still.
Yeah.
There you go.
That's another one.
I was trying to think about all the bar stuff we could think of from TV shows and put it all in one room.
I think we've gotten on to a really good sub topic with that.
I'm going to start
Think about more bar items we could find for this thing.
Yeah,
that
would
be perfect.
Ah, those are some fine items, and we'll have to think of the ultimate bar from all the TV shows, just gathering all kinds of stuff and put it in the perfect bar.
And we should have that topic sometime, maybe next week.
Well, that's it.
The Water's Wake Up Call Morning Meltdown for Monday, May 15th.
Thanks for clicking.
Thanks for downloading.
Thanks for listening as always.
You have a great rest of your day, and we'll see you on the radio.
Bye-bye.
Have fun storming the castle.
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