Christmas Songs from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

How about a nice hit and run?

Case of the hit and run.

That's exciting.

Hey, you know, uh, tram stamps are back in.

Did you know that?

What goes around comes around.

Tram stamps are back in.

But when were they ever out?

Asked every woman who went to that Motley Crue Def Leppard poison concert over the summer, I say.

Lava flows, you know those lava flows from Hawaii's Mauna Loa?

Ended.

Done.

Fans.

Fans of eruptions can still watch Buckingham Palace as Netflix drops more episodes of Harry and Meghan.

So a West Virginia woman says she broke four teeth after she bit into a McDonald's quarter pounder that contained a metal washer.

And she's clearly lying.

If she had four teeth to begin with, there's no way she's from West Virginia.

You know the Mars rover Perseverance recently recorded a dust devil on the surface of Mars And this is weird in addition to the sound of the wind in the background you can hear a car alarm So Adam Sandler receiving the Mark Twain prize for American humor Adam Sandler, I guess organizers said that this year they wanted the award to embody Twain's sense of irony

Ozzy Osbourne wants to go on tour, but he still can't walk.

Well, he hasn't been able to sing since 1995, and that really hasn't stopped him.

And finally, Brittany Griner has resumed workouts.

Good to have her back.

And if she comes back better at basketball, the Detroit Pistons need to spend time in a Russian prison, I think.

And there you go.

Those are your hit and runs.

That's all I got.

I never saw him.

He's basically hitting me.

Hey waters here from the waters wake up call we were talking about the worst Christmas songs this morning and I had gotten a text from Steven from Waterloo and I should have read it ahead of time But I just boom went into it and it said my least favorite song is the one about the weird old skinny guy who lives under the water tower and

Oh wait, that's the water's wake-up call.

Never mind.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha.

Well you certainly did, you lousy.

You

know, I don't usually just go to texts and read, cold read them.

But I did, and

hey, hold on a minute.

What's he doing?

Yeah,

you made my, I don't know what you made, I guess.

Maybe you made my bed by place under the water tower.

Maybe that's what you

did.

Exactly.

With your plastic spork.

Yes.

Spalding spork is great at shores.

Keep up the mediocre work

and

have

a good holiday if they don't talk to you.

I strive for mediocrity, my friends.

That's why I live under a water tower in Tiawatha, Iowa.

Exactly.

Check the hall.

You

don't like deck the halls?

And

bow is of holly.

What is a bow of holly?

A

tree branch full of holly is a bow.

That's another thing.

I think I'm going to talk about this one day, too, that some of the references you'll hear in Christmas songs, it's like, it has to be like a 17 or 1800s reference.

What the hell is that?

Probably.

We're all singing it, but we have no idea what it means.

All right.

Well, don't deck the halls.

Maybe deck the Christmas carolers if they come by and sing that song.

OK.

OK.

Deal.

All right.

Thanks, Mike.

Have a great day.

Dean Martin singing my favorite song.

Yeah, that's one of your least favorite things,

huh?

His words, like, go together.

He says, meows, meows, what?

Well, he is blasted, I'm sure, on eggnog and all kinds of liquor.

I'm sure.

He

kind of talks like this.

You know,

I can't really do Dean Martin, but you always... I think I sounded more like Foster Brooks, if you know who that is, but it's... Yes, I do.

Dean Martin and Foster Brooks.

They should have done a duet.

Hey, how about this?

This would be the worst song of all time.

Are you ready?

Dean Martin and Foster Brooks singing a duet of Baby It's Cold Outside.

Oh, instead of Dean Martin trying to get Foster Brooks to stay, he tried to make him leave.

Baby It's Cold Outside.

No, it's not that cold.

I can probably leave without my jacket.

We'll see you later.

a big

drunk fight baby it's violin inside

there's one by the three

really I had no idea they had a Christmas

song

SNL and Willie Nelson, but I don't like the Three Stooges as a thing anyway.

Yeah, well, I'm more of a Mark's Brothers fan anyway, so.

Yeah,

yeah.

But they, they, I'll send the link to you.

I'll send it to the tech and you can take a look at it.

Yeah, I'd like to hear all of those anyway.

It sounds like a pretty cool little compilation of stuff.

And just, just to hear the Three Stooges do a Christmas song, whether it's good or bad, I'm dying to hear it

now.

Now, are you gonna do the funniest ones?

I like the 12 Pains of Christmas myself.

Oh,

well, you know what?

I can do that anytime.

I could actually do that before 10.

How about that?

That'd be great.

That'd be great.

Okay, I'll send that one to you, and I

look

forward to hearing the 12 Pains of Christmas.

All right, we got a deal, I think.

It's a little gift exchange.

I'll play 12 Pains of Christmas.

You'll give me the three stooches, and we'll be square.

Yeah, that's right.

That's

right.

morning's 5.30 to

10.