But right now, I gotta update you on some things.
So, have you heard about this?
The Crash Detection feature on the iPhone 14 is reportedly calling 911 when people take them on roller coasters.
So, really, it's not advisable to take an iPhone 14 on a wild and crazy ride like a roller coaster, a Tilt-A-Whirl, or a date with Amber Heard.
You know, any of that.
Any of that.
Don't even try it.
So the world's oldest dog has passed away.
Age 22, this dog.
And yes, Meghan Markle is already trying to figure out how to make the funeral all about her.
So just in case you're wondering.
The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs also triggered a tsunami and earthquake.
And it's still not as big of a disaster as Russell Wilson's contract, by the way.
Madonna, here's a multiple choice for you.
Madonna shot the world by insinuating that she's A, gay, B, retiring, or C, biodegradable.
It was hard to get that out.
Biodegradable.
All right.
50% of Americans claim their family or friends have body shamed them.
I love you looked around at your local Walmart lately.
I don't think it's working.
In fact, the body-shaming was so hurtful they could barely finish their pork rinds.
So today is Southern Food Heritage Day.
Speaking of pork rinds, it's like a regular day, only it's been smothered in gravy.
That's right.
Male thefts are surging nationwide.
It's so bad there's hardly any mail left for the post office to lose.
Researchers say the benefits of colonoscopies may be overestimated.
Boy, I wonder what's up there, bots.
D'Azell Bunchin has been visiting, been seen visiting, a spiritual healer recently.
Oh, so that's what they're calling Pete Davidson these days.
Okay.
And she's using this spiritual healer to figure out her husband's A, inner psyche, B, hidden desires, or C, eyeliner routine.
I'd like to know that too.
I don't know.
Darrell Hall.
Turn 76 today.
Happy birthday, Daryl Hall.
76.
He wrote a new song about being 76.
It's called Bran Eater.
That's right, Bran Eater.
The NFL is updating their concussion protocol.
The new rule states that if a player sustains multiple concussions, he can never run for Senate in Georgia.
Yeah.
And finally...
Finally, the Golden State Warriors have not yet announced a punishment for Draymond Green for punching a teammate during practice, but they're considering A, a fine, B, a suspension, or C, a 10-year ban from the Oscars.
Yes, and there you go.
Those are your...
And another Fright Day morning.
A freaky Fright Day morning, I might add.
And we were talking about our ultimate scary word.
For a scary word, I want to give you kids.
But the unscary word or the opposite of that is grandkids, because you can give them back to your kids and let them do what they did to you.
Yeah.
Well,
you know, kids are scary.
I mean, the screaming, it's like, oh my God, the screaming.
I mean, screaming is scary anyway.
But when it's your child, it's like, oh my God, you know, but they are, they're very small horror stories.
Yes, they
are.
Yes, they
are.
But yeah, when they're grandkids, it's like, you know, they'll, they'll come.
Visit and then they'll go home.
Yay.
That's why they
give you kids first so they can punish you before getting the reward of the grandkids.
And your kids are going, you were never that nice to me.
Wait
till
you have grandkids.
Did you know there was two TV shows that came out in 1964 a week apart?
Do you want to know the name of them or do you want to check it out on your own and it could make it a quiz?
Pretty sure.
I know it, but let's give somebody else a chance and they can win a lifetime supply of Mike Watter's belly lint.
Very, very nicely done.
Do you want to take advantage of the lifetime supply of my belly lint?
Well, I was
actually
hoping to contribute to the collection you have for your next follow.
You're a belly lint collector as well?
Sure.
Now, see, that's really scary.
Here I am joking about it, and I'll bet you're serious.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Two of the finest scary comedies that have ever hit the airwaves.
You know, there's nothing like cutting the nips and making it really scary.
That
thing.
With a hand, they came out of the box.
Yeah, thing.
Thank you, thing.
Creepy stuff, man.
Great TV, man.
Right now, I have the most enviable collection of carnage reports in the neighborhood.
So my scary part has a little bit of a lead up to it.
Okay.
Your teenage daughter introduces you to her new boyfriend.
Okay.
Spike.
If your daughter is dating a Spike, Spike is the scariest word in the English language.
Teenager, this is Russell.
Spike!
Yeah, well how old is your daughter?
You don't want your 15 year
old dating a spike.
Do you want to give me Spike's address and I'll go
over and chat with him if
you know
what I'm saying.
So this was a while ago.
Do
you know what ever happened to Spike?
You
know, make
sense.
Lawyer, spike.
Yeah, and now Spike for the prosecution.
How about a strong driver?
Yeah, I'll consider that one word
Yeah, if
your name is Harvey and you've had too much to drink and your Maybe Harvey carbanger is even even a scarier scarier word.
Yeah, or Harvey carcrasher
Absolutely,
I would say that would be the scariest thing you could ever see on an Avenue or a street or a highway or an
Interstate or a county road or any of those.
Oh God forbid an urban area with people on the sidewalk.
Damn.
No kidding.
Good scary word.
I uh, I'm gonna have to go clean up my chair now.
Thanks a
lot.
You're welcome very
much.
Good morning Mr. Waters.
It's Vicky.
Vicky, Vicky, Vicky, Vicky.
How
are you Vicky?
I'm doing well.
Just leaving P.T.
Oh physical therapy.
Got my fourth rotator cuff surgery.
Oh.
Oh boy, that's, I know that's a painful, painful thing.
Fourth.
Yep, they had to open it up this time.
You know, I think we should put those three words in one scary word and just call
it
rotator cuff surgery.
There you go.
Yes.
I got another scary one for you
though.
Okay.
War.
Yeah, that's scary.
I thought about country Joe and the fish and his Vietnam
song.
Yeah, what is it?
Give me an F.
There you go.
I had many friends that ended up
Yeah,
I know it was a crazy time and you know there have been many books and movies.
That war especially seems scary.
Absolutely.
Weekday mornings, 5.30 to
10.
Look at the bright side,
okay?
Let's look on the bright side with Mike Waters on 1057 KOKZ.
Sponsored by Walton Collision Center.
So this is such a cool story.
Finds a little baby in this drug house.
This officer saved this baby's life and then the baby and this Colorado deputy had her badge pinned to her during her graduation ceremony.
by this officer that saved her life in this drug house.
So that baby becomes a Colorado deputy and pinning the badge to her was the officer that saved her life.
So this is Sergeant Jeff Valdivia and Deputy Natalie Young talking about this really cool story.
There were a lot of drug users in that apartment, some parolees.
There wasn't enough food for Natalie.
It was just a bad place, and we couldn't leave her there.
I'm sure she would have survived, but her life would be very different.
She wouldn't be where she is today.
It just wasn't going to end well.
Just to get the call and find out what happened to her, but then on top of that, to be invited to come see her, to pin her badge.
it's just this amazing feeling.
I remember thanking him for saving my life and telling him I have waited a very long time to meet him and I was not expecting him to come out and I was surprised when my mom told me and I just gave him a hug.
So how cool is that this this baby rescued from a drug house decades ago?
becomes a Colorado deputy and the same officer that saved her pins the badge on her win a big shout out to Sergeant Jeff Valdivia as well as deputy Natalie Young.
There is your bright side for a Fright Day morning sponsored by Wong Collision Center on Highway 151 in Fairfax.
Wong Collision Center where quality is their priority.
Now everybody sing!