The Waters Wake Up Call Hit and Run Headlines

We get into our hit and run headlines.

So Jim Carrey is retiring from acting.

You know, it's unfortunate that he never figured out who he had to slap to win an Oscar.

Very sad.

Chris Rock was spotted at a movie theater by himself.

He ordered candy, but not a pop since Will Smith already gave him one at the Oscars.

Get it?

He got a pop.

Oh, they're not all winners.

WrestleMania happened over the weekend.

And after last week's Oscars, it was nice to decompress with something just a little less violent, doesn't it?

Former women's soccer star Hope Solo.

I couldn't believe this.

Hope Solo busted for DWI with her kids in the car.

On the bright side, she never used her hands.

She closed soccer, you know?

Cowboy's owner, Jerry Jones, paid $3 million to his illegitimate daughter.

You know, if he has that much cash to pay someone to go away, why not use it on Mike McCarthy, huh?

Why not?

I mean, that would be the sensible thing to do.

You know, researchers say fish can do math just like humans.

Not surprising, since fish are always in schools.

You get it?

Alright, bring on the pot, brownie mom.

Oh, there.

Yeah.

Fisher always in schools.

Ah, it's great to have that handy, you know?

Alright, so a 22-year-old Ukrainian woman went from college student to soldier and has already shot down two Russian jets and a helicopter.

Wow, now she's amazing.

I cannot wait for her TikTok makeup tutorials.

You know, and that's nothing.

I mean, have you seen the Ukrainian flags?

Our college students are temporarily using, is there a profile pics?

Pretty cool.

Today is Tel-Ali Day, or as politicians know it, Monday.

There you go, your in-run headlines on a Monday morning waters wake up call.