The Business of Marriage

Truth Nation, it's your girl Jazz Tyler.

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Shout out to the entire Truth Nation.

We need people to tap in for real conversations.

from real people.

And we do need to get out here and be mentors, because these kids are coming up with our love, coming up hard, and it's sad.

I'm like, well, I really like this girl.

Like, she speaks with so much conviction.

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really, like, love to hear her talk, so I can be trapped in this mess and everything, and just be

talking

about it.

This show is geared around real situations and real people.

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cat crew, we'd have cut up crew.

That's what we do.

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are funny.

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I come from the trenches.

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I come from the dirt.

I was never given anything.

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And I might just keep on calling you and tell you some other stuff

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One-on-one point, stepping in truth to show girl jazz.

Tyler, your favorite host.

Happy Friday, Milwaukee.

Listen, it has been one week.

It has been a week.

I mean that in an amazing way, though, this was a pretty good week.

Today was an amazing day.

We are gearing up for the weekend.

Yesterday was raining a little ugly outside.

Today is beautiful, so I'm looking forward to some of the community events that's taking place this weekend.

Got a chance to cook my dinner before I came to work.

I made some lasagna.

Now I can actually go home and sit back and not do nothing but feed my face You are officially tapped in with your girl Jazz Tyler Please make sure you like and subscribe to our YouTube channel one on one point seven the truth You can also follow us on social media at one on one seven the truth Follow me on Instagram at tap in MKE or the jazzy effect Today we are having a grown folks conversation grown people conversation about love money in

Power okay, so some of y'all just got paid if you did let me hold something Some of y'all are waiting on payday and some of you all are trying to figure out whether the person you are dating is an asset a liability Or simply an expensive hobby.

That's right today.

We are talking about love money power in the business of marriage now Typically I have conversations about relationships, but I haven't had one in a while

And I was looking at some things online some of the laws as it pertains to marriage Which is what prompted me to have this discussion with you all today, and I am asking a serious question This is something that I want to know When a woman makes more than a man Does that change how they see each other is he able to celebrate her success without competing with her?

Can she respect his contribution?

Without measuring his entire worth by how much money he make how much is that paycheck?

We are not talking about dating for potential.

We already had that conversation numerous of times We are talking about two adults who are working living and trying to decide whether their lives fit together So that is a topic for today, but before we get into that

It's Friday as you all know last week I started a new segment entitled community hero and I want to recognize the people in Milwaukee who show up when there is no camera when there is no war ceremony Somebody is mentoring a young person feed at a neighbor Organizing a safe place for children or connecting families with resources and today we are celebrating a man whose name is that

Milwaukee radio community service and giving back the legendary Homer blow I know that you all always hear me talk about Homer blow and guess what I don't care You can get tired if you want to but that is my personal pick for this week Because there are so many times That he has shown up in ways that the public doesn't know I had the chance to see Homer twice this week.

I don't get to see him often

Because I was when he was filling in for the great vine prior to Ray, but I don't get a chance to see him often.

But every time I do, there is so much information that he gives me.

And one thing you have to know about him is he doesn't take everybody under his wing.

I know that for a fact.

And if you know him, you know that to be true.

So when he does, you should most definitely feel special.

So I want to, you know,

Obviously send flowers to him, but Hummer Blow legendary Hummer Blow.

He is the community hero for this week.

He was born and raised right here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

He began his career in entertainment as a teenager, eventually becoming one of the city's most recognizable radio personalities.

On June 11, 1991, he joined the famous WNOV 860 AM, where he would eventually become the program director in music.

Today, he celebrates 35 years in radio, using his platform not only to entertain, but to inform, educate, and advocate for our community.

But what makes Homer a community hero goes far beyond the microphone.

In 1994, he established his annual Homer Blows birthday party for the kids, a free celebration that has provided thousands of Milwaukee children with full entertainment.

toys and unforgettable memories for more than three decades.

Through the Homoblow Foundation, he continues his commitment to serving families, supporting youth, organizing community events, and connecting residents with resources.

His contributions have earned him numerous honors, including the Key to the City of Milwaukee in 2017, the Wisconsin State Assembly, Hometown Hero Award,

and proclamations from the city and the county of Milwaukee declaring June 23rd as Homer Blow Day.

Most recently in 2026, the Milwaukee County Council honored him for 35 years in radio in his continued service to this community.

Homer's proof that having a platform is one thing, but using that platform to make a difference in people lives is something entirely different.

Today we are given this Milwaukee legend, his flowers while he is here to receive them.

Homer, thank you for 35 years of dedication, leadership and service.

You are officially the community hero of the tapped in show this week.

Again, you guys hear me talk about Homer all the time, but I promise you, you have no idea what he means to me.

And I'm sure there's a host of other people who, you know, say the same thing, but I am truly grateful.

for him grabbing a hold of me at such a young age and mentoring me and providing me with resources and providing me with people rest in peace to my brother Smalls and Joker who assisted me with who I am today.

He is a big part of who I am today, whether people know it or not.

But most importantly, I don't want to be subjective in this moment.

I just want to highlight him not just for the huge community events he do, but

The moments that he have the one off conversations, right?

The time that he actually take to teach instead of judge and a host of other things.

And I know again that I am not the only person who feels this way.

I am not the only person who life he has impacted.

And while he is here, I want to make sure that we honor him the right way.

So as long as I have breath in my body, I will forever be grateful for homer blow.

It was homer blow.

who pulled me to the side.

It was Hummer Blow, who was the first person to play my single on the radio back in 2009.

It was Hummer Blow, who connected me with Smalls and Joker, who then, you know, pushed me to Zateshoven in Atlanta.

And my music career took off.

It is Homer, who asked Vouch for me.

It is Homer who has told me that I needed to get my attitude together or I was going to jail.

We had a long conversation when I was younger.

And I am extremely grateful for him and I just want to reiterate the respect and loyalty I have for him Homer is one of those people when it comes to jazz Anything anybody else say what he says goes period.

I don't care how you feel I don't care what you think if Homer blow says jazz.

This is it I don't have nothing else to say because that's how loyal I am to that man So Homer blow.

Thank you for what you have done for me

Thank you for what you continue to do for the city of the more Milwaukee in the community.

We love you and we appreciate you.

All right, so Moving along today again, it is about relationships about love about marriage We are going to carry the same question into our relationship conversation What does it mean to contribute?

Because a paycheck is one measure, but it is not the only measure of what somebody brings to a household So picture this

She makes $150,000 a year.

He makes $50,000 a year.

But the chemistry is wonderful.

They have common values and they genuinely enjoy each other.

Does his salary change the way she sees him?

Does her salary change the way he sees himself?

What happens when the dinner bill arrives?

When they discuss a vacation or when they talk about moving in together?

Are they arguing about the money?

or are they arguing about what money represents?

Call me 833-212-1017.

Men, would you date a woman earning twice what you earn?

And women, would you marry a man earning half what you have earned?

I want the answer you would actually live by.

Not the answer.

That sounds good on social media.

We got to go to...

She girl, Jazz Tyler, one on one, step in the truth.

All right, before we want to break, I was explaining that we are talking about love, money, power, and marriage.

Men, would you date a woman earning twice the money that you earn in women?

Are you willing to marry a man earning half?

of what you earn.

I want you guys to hit me up, 833-212-1017.

Now, as we begin to have this discussion, I want us to separate three things that people keep putting into the same category.

That's income, wealth, and financial discipline.

A person can have an impressive salary and still be drawn in depth.

How many of y'all know?

A lot of people that got money, credit good, everything.

But that credit card bill, about $50,000.

That's how much they owe.

A person, another person can earn less, have excellent credit, live within their means and save consistently.

So when somebody says they need a financial secure partner, I want to know what secure actually means.

Doesn't mean a particular salary.

Doesn't mean no debt.

Doesn't mean a savings account.

Doesn't mean owning property.

or doesn't mean that the person can meet their obligations without making their partner responsible for everything.

So I want to talk directly to my fellas, to the men for this part.

Suppose this woman owns her home.

Let's say she has a retirement account.

She takes herself on vacations and does not need to pay her bills.

Does that make you feel relieved or doesn't make you feel unnecessary?

If you have been taught that your value as a man is primarily your ability to provide money, what happens when you meet a woman who does not need that particular form of provision?

Can you recognize the other things you offer, which is companionship?

It could be reliability, parenting, planning, problem solving, or do you begin to compete with what she has already accomplished?

And this is big for me.

Because this is something that I have personally struggled with in the past as well I think oftentimes if you are dealing with the man who is not secure in Within himself doesn't matter how much he'd make but if you are dealing with any man who feel like He's not secure within himself then he begins to compete but the opposite I'm gonna you know play advocate here the other part of that too is

Ladies, you can't be so independent to the point where you feel a man feels as if you don't need him.

That is one of our biggest problems.

And sometimes we do it subconsciously, you know, I myself, you know, I have what I have going on between the career path that I have chosen amongst other things.

And oftentimes some men feel like they can't teach me anything because I've worked in so many different arenas.

Or that I have it all figured out and that's not the case Sometimes if I really like a guy I would act as if I don't know Like he said something I would just pretend like I don't know just because I want him to feel needed So we have to do a better job at that.

We have a caller on the line The caller are you there?

I'm always here sis.

Can you hear me clearly?

Yes indeed.

Thank you so much for tapping in And

an excellent topic as always

There's a myth

that

women only recently became financially empowered And I think people like myself I was very influenced by women who First of all my grandmother and her older sister were a part of the great migration Okay, so they both came to Milwaukee Mary and before

not being married after being married was popular.

That happened to them for grown folks business reasons.

And now I'm going all the way back to the early 50s when my mom was born.

And so the things that the shoulders in which all of us men and women stand on, if you don't know history, then you might be confused.

So seeing the strength of women who were able to purchase homes and still

Be respectful of the men who they dated later in their life and treat them well.

Make home cooked meals for these gentlemen who had to leave by dark because they weren't married.

Do you understand what I'm saying

to

you?

And who respected their children and treated their children as loved ones and sometimes had, you know, marriages prior, you know, that they were divorced individuals as well.

that that built me in a way of seeing that To create a family which is when people join together is is the reason for a man and a woman to get serious and as a man, I've never had a problem With anybody else's money because I've always I was always taught from age 12 I had a paper route and I was basically running a

a small business in my neighborhood where I was able to hire a few of my friends and go play sports while they deliver papers for a few days and so these these are the things that I think that in the past were that that we don't have available to children now uh that I think built me into the confidence that I am and there are a lot of people who for various reasons don't care about other people's money

and

I think that's the key

If if if you're worried about or counting another man or woman's money Then your your character is lacking in some way.

Yes.

And so what I've always tried to do is worry about my make mine not need Financial assistance from a woman and that that that is how

you

maintain whether you're whether your statement who's dating Oprah Winfrey or a woman who you know is a

regular financial means who's in the NBA player.

If you know who you are, then all of those things don't take part

in your

relationship because the relationship is everything else except the money, which always, once you really become one, you decide to get married or have a really committed relationship, all the money is everybody for both partners.

So I think that's the key is to know who you are before

going into serious relationship, and it's something that is going on much longer than people think.

Absolutely.

I agree.

My grandparents were part of that migration.

My grandparents were born in 1917 and 18, and they came up by way of Chicago to Milwaukee.

My grandmother was a seamstress.

My grandfather was a cook on the railroad, but he was also a Navy veteran.

And he also came from New Orleans.

So he he's dealt with a lot and it's a lot of stuff from what I hear back in the day before I was even thought of that my grandmother had to put up with.

But she pretty much led, you know, some part of that marriage.

So to the college point, I completely understand that.

And I think that society today has made women.

I'm going to I can speak to this because I am a woman.

Society today has made us believe that.

Somehow that is wrong that somehow we don't have the responsibility of Being able to purchase a home or anything like that now I'm not talking about to the chicks who go out here and get businesses and their boyfriends names or homes in a boyfriend's name because they want to prove Or they you know want him to like her.

I'm talking about actual marriages, right actual marriages now ladies I want to talk to you for a minute if you say

That income doesn't matter.

Are you prepared to live by that when you see another woman receiving expensive gifts?

Do you appreciate what your partner actually contributes or do you compare your household to somebody else's highlight reel?

And that's kind of the point I was going to make when the caller mentioned about worrying about your own money, right?

When I was married, that wasn't anything that we discussed.

Whatever had to get paid.

We knew who was paying what and that was that I think I honestly think that it becomes a bigger issue when we begin to want materialistic things or we begin to put Compare our lives to other people's lives and therefore we expect for our man to go above and beyond for This type of purse or this or that I'm not saying that you can't receive gifts I'm not saying that you shouldn't but I think there has to be a fine line between

whether it's in you or on you.

And for me, it's in me, right?

For me, at this age, if I was to get married again, I'm already gonna have my stuff together because I'm almost 40.

And I can imagine that he will already have his stuff together, and then we can figure out how to build around that, but I'm never going to marry someone because of money.

I just can't do it.

I'm not saying that I want somebody who's who don't have nothing going on for himself, right?

But again, you know, I can't see myself just hopping into a marriage because I want a certain lifestyle and that's no slight to anybody who Operate like that, but for me

You know, marriage, obviously, is supposed to be much bigger than that.

Listen, we cannot solve three different problems with one slogan about what men and women should earn.

I want you to hit me up and tell me what you think, 833-212-1017.

Are you okay with your spouse or your partner making more money than you?

You should grow a jazz toddler, 1017, the truth.

The Tap In with Jazz Tyler will be right back on the award-winning 1017 The Truth, live on YouTube and 1017thetruth.com.

Tap In.

The Tap In with Jazz Tyler returns on the award-winning 1017 The Truth, 1017 The Truth YouTube channel and 1017thetruth.com.

You are officially tapped in and today we are talking about love, money, power, and marriage.

But not the typical conversation.

I really want to have a conversation with both the men and women as it pertains to relationships.

So the question of today is, are you comfortable with being married to someone or in a relationship with someone who makes more money than you?

Brother Z, how do you feel about this?

Are you?

Able to be in a relationship with a woman who makes more money than you.

Huh?

I think it depends.

It's fine with me.

I do not

care.

Got none to do with me.

Listen, I think it depends.

I think it depends what financial bracket you are in because if you have a woman who is making, let's say 55,000 a year in today's climate,

Uh, dating someone who makes less than that, he will have to contribute a lot in other ways.

Um, a lot of other ways.

He can't just, you know, make 40,000 a year and, and then that's it.

He don't bring anything else to the table.

Um, I don't know if I've ever dated somebody who made less than me.

Uh, but what I do know is, uh, from

Friendships that I have in conversations I've had with family members and friends, sometimes it can cause a lot of emotional trauma in the relationship if the man don't feel secure with them himself.

There could be a lot of arguments.

There could be a lot of back and forth, a lot of insecurity if he feel that he can't take care of his woman or take care of his family.

And that's justifiable.

But if you went into this relationship like that, then that's where it becomes tricky, and that's where it becomes a problem for me.

We have a caller on the line, Keith, are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.

What's up,

Jess?

How are you?

I'm well.

Thank you so much for tapping in.

Are you comfortable with dating someone or being married to your spouse, and they're making more than you?

Yeah, this question is interesting because I'm married to a woman who makes definitely what I make currently right now for the past I don't know maybe year and a half, but I working on profit right now, but I had a I don't know.

I'm very political.

I was jumping from campaign or campaign early in my professional career.

So we couldn't have got a, you know, like it was a lot of things that we needed.

that she helped our relationship out because she's a stable piece.

But like, she allowed me to do what I love, organizing.

And right now I'm at a nonprofit.

We don't make a lot of money,

but

I love my people.

I love supporting and helping people, being a resource, you know, so together we, we, we, we all love, you know, so we, we, you know, but I won't say it like it's good and danny.

Like, truthfully, it hurt my.

I'm glad that you shared that.

I want to ask you something

while I have you.

What did, what made you check your ego?

How did you get over that insecurity?

It was a few things.

I say this culture of ours, you know, you know, sometimes it's like I'm missing out or like this and that, but in reality, like being close to the God, I realized like, you know, family come first, right?

And then

like...

Like as a man, I need to like leave the home in a certain way like if I'm over here like jealous or or Filling some type of way like even though She's sacrificing a lot like at the same time.

Yeah, she's making more but like we got a lot of debt and we I don't know so I Guess to ask you a question.

We got a one-year-old son.

He's a turn one and It was it came down to

Like this plan is going to take both of us like whether you know, I make unless whatever whatever is going to take self discipline on both of our parts.

So I guess, uh, speaking knowledge, I listened to books, um, rich that poor that I just finished reading for the third time.

Uh, like, this is, I don't know, just locking in.

Um, so, yeah, continuing to grow.

Absolutely.

Thank you so much for being transparent with those key.

I like that uh that you were vulnerable because this is a serious question that I believe all of us um well not all of us but a lot of us have and the reason being is because a

Obviously, we know the history.

I've talked about it before.

The amount of work that has gone into disrupting the black household, especially during the massive incarceration in the welfare back in the 90s, the 94 client bill, and prior to that, too, there has been an extremely large amount of work government-wise that has gone into, you know, creating the independent woman, what we now know as the independent woman.

So much to the point where...

Some women are so career driven.

They make so much money That they now have the egos and and they now treat men how men used to treat women But it what what interests me the most about what he said was the fact that a he had to check himself and be Outside of the money.

There is still a host of other responsibilities that has to be had so when we are talking about a marriage in

Your counterpart makes more than you, right?

This particular example, we're talking about men.

He stated that his wife makes double the money that he makes primarily because he was, you know, doing what he loved to do.

And that part of it, I get wholeheartedly, right?

I get the willing to, as a woman, the willing to, hey, I am willing to sacrifice you taking a less pay cut because you want to take a risk or, you know, do whatever it is that you dream of doing.

Because that's something that I will want my spouse to do for me, but I think ultimately I don't I wouldn't say that we are living in a Time where a lot of things are traditional.

I know a lot of men and women who are still traditional.

I just made a joke The day when I was talking to someone like hey, well, if you could do anything you want to do, what would it be a stay at home wife?

Stay at home wife because I'm tired

I was tired.

I am tired.

No, but in all seriousness, I don't think that there is a such thing as tradition anymore.

I mean, to some extent there is.

However, you have to be intentional and have these conversations, right?

Goes back to what I talked about earlier.

So let's say that you do, your spouse does make more money than you, but their credit isn't the best.

You don't make as much money as your spouse, but you have excellent credit.

You will then be the person to probably purchase the home, and because you guys can combine your income, they'll be able to accept it, right?

And now you have the home, and the home is in your name, even though you make less than your wife.

And your wife makes more money than you.

That, to me, is still doable.

That is fine.

That is absolutely fine.

The point of the matter is figuring out where to step up and how to step up.

Especially in today's society because for me personally again It goes based off the bracket if you make a certain amount of money Let's say you make 55,000 in today's climate I'm not sure ladies if you want or if you can deal with a man who makes less than that because These bills is kicking my butt and I know they kicking your butt too, right?

So I would say he has to make at least At least what I make

He has to make at least somewhere around what I make, doesn't have to be more, doesn't have to be, it has to be in a range of 10,000 less than what I make per year, all the way up, you know, to what I make or more.

And that's just because it provides a balance.

Because what ends up happening is, you know, you find yourself having to accumulate, you accumulate more debt, more bills when you have a marriage is more bills.

It's more money paid out.

There is another mouth is so much more and you don't want all of that weight To follow you shout out to the chat.

My D says She better be making seven figures weak dudes can't handle that Women that make a lot of money hit different that attitude is very dangerous.

It is it is and I know I have some family members and I know some women who are very ego driven Because they make more and prefer to make more because they want to be able to control

whatever it is that they do when it comes to their marriage.

But again, I think it's just based off of what you guys agreed to.

Because again, if I make 100,000 a year, but my credit is trash and he makes 60,000 a year, but he has excellent credit, that's doable.

You just have to find the weak points, the strong points.

You have to figure it out in that manner.

Today we are talking about love power and marriage later on we're gonna hit on marriage the business right because I have my own personal beliefs just from Books that I've read and from being married myself Not in a religious aspect right but overall the entity period marriage is a business And I think nowadays is being pushed even more as a business rather than a sacred bond

And this is something that we're gonna talk about.

I wanna hear from you, 833-212-1017.

Are you okay with your spouse making more money than you?

It's your girl,

Jaz Tyler, 1017, The Truth.

You're watching The Taffin with Jazz Tyler on the 1017th Truth YouTube channel.

Be sure to like and subscribe today.

One-on-one

point seven and shoot this your girl jazz Tyler and uh shout out to Mike Madonna speaking of Mike McDonald.

I seen uh online that he had a baby at 14 years old Tell me his baby mama had a 14 a baby at 14 years old the baby was put up for adoption and He ended up finding out that his birth

Our biological father was Mike, Michael McDonald.

That has to be very interesting.

And when you look at his son, that he just made, he looks just like him.

That's such an amazing story.

You get a chance, look it up online, check it out.

Today, we are talking about marriage.

We are talking about marriage.

The question for the four o'clock hour is, are you OK with your spouse making more money than you?

And then also.

So this is something that came to my mind during this conversation.

Um, first and foremost, I don't believe that money is, is the end all be all, right?

Obviously you have to, you know, uh, make some type of money.

You have to be doing something with yourself, with your time, with your life.

But I don't know when, you know, and maybe I have to look this up.

I don't know when in time, uh, we started to equate manhood with money, right?

With me.

and the family I grew up in and the people I grew up around, I would say that my family is very traditional in a sense.

However, I was never taught to equate a man's manhood based off of how much money he make because, truth be told, I know a lot of men.

I know a lot of men who make very good money, but don't know how to change a tire.

They don't know how to start a lawnmower.

They don't know how to do.

And I'm not talking about men.

I date.

I just said a lot of men.

So let's make that clear.

But I know a lot of men who make money and don't know how to do the basic things that men know how to do because they're constantly paying someone to do it.

They're constantly paying someone to take care of whatever it is that they need.

Meanwhile, there is men out there who don't make as much as other men, but they are, to me, they are men men.

You know, they know how they're handy.

They know how to build stuff.

They know how to change oil.

They know how to, you know, do take care of the lawn.

They know how to fix the water pressure, you know, all of that kind of stuff.

So again, it's your preference, but I personally don't believe that you should be equating money to a man's manhood for real.

Like I don't care how much money you got.

If I add, if you don't take out my trash and you don't go take my car and fill it up with gas and go clean my car, if you don't take care of my lawn, if you don't, you know, change the light bulb or put something together in the house, then we got a problem.

I'm not saying that I can't because I like using my hands too.

I love refurbishing furniture and things like that.

But there are just, to me, certain things that

I am very attracted to when it comes to men, and those are some of the things.

I love a man that knows how to use his hands.

I love a man that does manly things.

I don't want a man who has a lot of money and just pay for everybody else to do it.

That's why I don't equate money to manhood.

But with that said, if you are okay with your spouse making more money than you, who gets to finally say so?

This is interesting who gets the final say so You know let's say again.

She want to invest in a property and Then but she makes more money than you and then you say I think we should use that to pay down our debt instead Who gets the final say so?

Her because she makes more money or him because he is the man that is where it gets tricky for some people me ultimately my belief is

It doesn't matter how much money I make, in my household, my man does lead.

My husband will lead, and he will make decisions.

And when it's time for me to make decisions, I will make decisions.

But I think ultimately, again, what society has done was force both men and women into believing that whoever makes the most, they control the scenario.

And that is simply not true.

I also do not agree with the tradition that men are supposed to lead every single time.

or every single time, that is not the case.

There are some things that women are just simply better at when it comes to relationships in business.

There are some things that men are better at.

When you are in a partnership of any kind, whether it's marriage, whether it's a business, but specifically marriage, you should know when to allow your man to lead and he should know when to allow you to lead.

That's just my personal belief.

So the whole who gets the final say,

Just because this person makes more money.

That's not how that goes.

That's not it is based off of what makes the most sense I would never ever make my husband if I make more money than him I will never make him feel less than when it comes to making decisions because I make more money than him That doesn't make any sense and I know that there are a lot of women out there like that But again, you cannot equate how much money someone makes to their manhood.

We have a caller on the line.

Big C. Are you there?

Hey, how you doing jazz?

Yes, I am here.

Thank you so much for tapping in I just think yo I was just about to shout out your text on the text line, too

Yeah, I had to call for this one I had to call so I've dated a woman that made more money than me on paper and I've dated a woman that thought she made more money than me because she had a bunch of degrees

Um, it don't matter to me to be honest with you because marriage is a whole lot different than if you just date me.

Absolutely.

But, um, you know, I, I know what I'm capable of.

I mean, I've, if I got to go out there and work and get it, I can get it cause I'm, I'm handy like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But when you, I'm sorry, go ahead.

No, no, go ahead.

I'm sorry.

No, but I'm sad when you.

When it comes down to decision making, I mean, depending on what you're trying to decide on, but I know you kept throwing the word traditional around.

I mean, I feel like a man should be the head of the household, not to the point where he treating his wife like she is slave or something.

But I mean, real important decisions, I think y'all both can agree on something.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And that's kind of what I just touched on.

I can't I didn't grow up equating money to a man's manhood because I know a lot of men who have a lot of money But don't know how to do what I consider to be manly things Primarily because they pay people to do it for them.

So they never learn but I do believe and I was married before I do believe that You know, there is a time where a man leads and then there's some a time where he may need the woman to lead depending on what the situation is but ultimately Me personally

The man runs the household.

That's how it go when you that's what I'm talking about when you ask When you get into your kids get into it and they want to ask go ask your daddy

And

that and that's ultimately you know again how I grew up but the way society is today I believe it has women, you know Thinking that they are the man.

They are so independent that they don't know how to allow a man to lead

And that's true because I'm at a point now in my life.

I'm like she the more she knows The less I have to know

Yeah, but there was a point in time where that was okay and and now I'm figuring out that that is not the case That is not the case anymore and oftentimes, you know, some men they become very intimidated by women who

who know more or women who they feel like have more or who has done more.

So it becomes like a secret competition.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I could never compete with somebody.

I'm dating that.

That's crazy to me.

You might as well be strangers then because y'all ain't getting nowhere doing

that.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Thank you so much.

Be a big seat for tapping in.

I want to hear from you a three three two one two one zero one seven Are you okay with your spouse making more money than you and if so who gets to decide?

As we move into the five o'clock hour, I want to really tap into traditional marriage and the reason why I say that is because Again, we were just slightly talking about it on that car With big C but to some degree right every family has some type of tradition

that they do, whether it's, you know, they make certain things on holidays or they meet up at certain relatives' house on holidays, so on and so on.

So to completely say that there is no tradition will be false.

And when you add tradition to marriage, depending on the type of woman that you're marrying, and depending on the type of man that you're marrying, tradition can be a big thing.

Tradition can be...

something that some men require and some men just simply don't have or some women don't have a background in understanding what a traditional marriage is.

Me personally, I am very traditional when it comes to certain things, right?

You know, if we go out to eat, I'm okay with paying, but I know men who would be upset at me even if I left the tip, right?

And that's just some old school stuff, my stepdad.

Then taught me I've been around some older gentlemen who you know that is absolutely insulting to them when it comes to that type of stuff We have another quality on the line Sam.

Are you there?

Yes, I'm here.

Thank you so much for tapping

in You know, I just I just Kind of it kind of resonated with me when you were speaking up on it and my

I just, my experience, my personal experience with a woman I've just been with for a long time.

I've been with her for the last 20 years, you know, and she was, she wasn't making more money than me.

Then she started making more money than me.

Then she went back to, she had to have a hip reflection.

So she unemployed.

So anyway, she, so she still,

So it looked on the fact that when she was making more money than me, that she just, she took over, she had took over during that time and just was doing everything as far as head of household.

She wouldn't look to me for anything.

And me being a man, my man was kind of shot for a minute there.

Because of how she stepped out there and

She was in the political field, doing a lot of things in the political field.

She was making really good money.

And wow, she just took over.

And she never was willing to step back into the woman role, into that role where, yeah.

And I also, I walk around this house and I do everything.

I won't.

We don't even call, we live in, we've written, we don't even call a landlord because I do everything in this house.

I take care of that, you know?

So, I mean, as far as, like you said, I don't let her pump gas, I barely let her touch a door going through a door.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's just how I was raised.

That's just how I was.

I don't too much raise my voice because

being a man, it only take a stern, you know, uh, talking to, to, for the kids or anything.

Yeah.

And I get, I get them in place.

You know what I mean?

I ain't no hitting on nothing.

It's me being a man and say, Hey, you know, that just be it.

But.

She won't she still won't fall back into that woman world like yeah, so yeah, we we on the house We we all messed up like that's what and I see and I know that happened a lot during these days Yeah, it does.

Do you ever find a

situation where she throws it in your face?

She has

You're watching The Taffin with Jazz Tyler on the 1017th The Truth YouTube channel.

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Register today, Chugro Jazz Tyler, you are officially tapped in.

We having a grown folks conversation today.

I want to hear from you a 3 3 2 1 2 1 0 1 7.

Are you okay with their spouse making more money than you?

And if so, who gets the final say so?

I was talking earlier that, you know, my personal belief is I have never equated to money to a man's manhood.

That's just something that I don't believe in doing.

I know a lot of men who make a lot of money but have no idea what it means to be a man spiritually internally and physically because they're always

constantly looking towards someone else.

Hey, I need to pay you to do this.

I don't have time to do this.

Can you fix my car?

Can you change my oil?

Can you do my lawn?

You know, all of the above.

And I know men who don't make as much as other men, but they know what it means to be a leader.

They know what it means to run a household.

They know what it means to have a backbone.

And ultimately, I think society has, when it comes to both men and women,

They put us in a position to where they equate money with everything.

And to me, that just simply don't make sense.

I will take a man who makes less than me any day, but knows how to lead.

He knows how to, you know, he gonna take my garbage out.

Not my garbage.

He's going to take the garbage out.

He's going to help pay the bills.

He's going to take my card to get a detail.

You know, he's going to change my oil.

He's going to take care of the lawn work.

He's going to put together a furniture in the house and fix my water pressure.

I like men, men who know how to make logical decisions, right?

Versus an arrogant...

Egotistic men who makes three times what the other guy makes, but have absolutely no idea of what it means to lead, does not have a backbone, does not know what it means to even run a household.

That is completely unattractive.

And I know a lot of women settle for that.

And then you have women who are OK with making the most money.

And then, you know, they want to talk to, like the last callers just said, they want to throw in their face.

I do this and I do that.

Okay, well go find you somebody who make more money than you that's the solution But what you're not gonna do is sitting here throw it in my face That's what you're not gonna do Shout out to the chat Marty says my wife money is her money and my money is her money too.

I know that's right Marty Marty you accept the applications That's not like I need to go ahead and be a housewife about the retired brother Z about the retired to a housewife He says I got millionaire friends

Their wife runs the house.

Uh, if we have kids, I have no problem with her running.

Uh, I want the garage.

I'm a mechanic shelf contractor.

She is totally secure.

I'm very family oriented.

That part.

Uh, shout out to, uh, Kowanda Kowanda says traditional marriage is a joke to the, I'm sorry.

Uh, Marty says traditional marriage is a joke to the war in marriage today.

Uh, Kowanda says my spouse makes.

Way more money than me, but he always makes sure we both have equal say within our household.

And I can't thank him enough for that.

No, for real.

And at the end of the day, you know, like I said, whoever makes the most money because at any given day, it can change.

You can make more money than your husband and you can end up losing your job.

You can make more money than your wife.

And I'm sorry, your wife can make more money than you and she can end up losing her job.

At the end of the day, you cannot equate your marriage to just financial.

your financials.

You cannot do that.

We were talking about tradition a little bit earlier as well and I was saying that I think to a certain degree there has to be some form of tradition in the marriage in order for it to work.

I got married young.

I got married when I was 25, 26.

I did not have any representation of what a successful marriage looked like.

I didn't really understand

you know, what I was doing or what I was getting into.

However, once I presumed my role as a wife at that age, I had two children.

And when I turned 29, I had three.

I began to learn certain qualities, right?

Understanding that when you have a man who goes to work just like you, but a man that goes to work first and foremost to my black and brown men, when they step outside the household.

They have a whole different world that they have to experience.

And that is a part of the traditional part.

And when I say traditional, I mean coming home to a home cook meal, washing the clothes, you know.

Now me, I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna wash them clothes, but I ain't gonna fold them.

I'm not folding no clothes.

Not because it's a power struggle, but because I absolutely hate it.

You know, but at the time, my ex-husband, he was okay with that.

He loved folding clothes.

He loved, you know, he'd sit there and watch the game, folding clothes.

You have to do whatever works for you.

But the point is, I understood, like, in that moment, what it meant to actually be a wife.

Was I the perfect wife?

No.

But what I've learned is, there's nothing that a man appreciates more than to come home to a home cook meal.

Gotta have a clean house.

You know what I'm saying?

want to be able to spend time with, you know, friends and family collectively, want to be able to make decisions on their own.

One is just feel like a man want to be able to lead.

Now, what I will say to this, though, to this point, fellas, I'm OK with you not making as much money as me, right?

As long as you can do everything that I mentioned, which is lead, lead properly, take care of the household, right?

Put me in a position to where I can't.

I cannot.

I cannot allow you, though, to lead me down a path blinded just because you want to feel like a man.

That's what I'm not going to do.

If you have absolutely no direction, no guidance, and you don't know how to lead and your ego is bruised because I know that I can lead a little bit better, I'm not going to let you do that to me.

That's what I cannot allow.

And I think that we have a lot of men who are struggling with that, with their masculinity, not in a sense of their sexual preference.

But more so, the reality is a lot of our black men, they did not grow up with the father.

They did not grow up with the father.

So they are trying to, when they become married or when they have serious relationships, this is new for them.

Being a full man to its totality is new for them.

This is something that they are just now learning.

And as women, we have to be able to identify that too, right?

We have to be able to understand that without throwing things in their face.

But again, I'm not going to let you walk me into a burning building just because you want to prove you a man.

You got to do that on your own time.

You have to do that on your own time.

And ladies, you have to understand, too.

You have to allow a man to be a man.

You cannot shut down every idea that he brings you cannot even if I said it earlier I've been is I've been in situations before where I've dated people in Because I am in the career field that I'm in I know a lot.

I've seen a lot.

I've done a lot, right?

But I don't want to always appear like I know everything.

So if I really really like somebody

and they mention something, sometimes I would act like I don't know.

Just because I want them to feel needed, right?

You have to know what it means to allow your man to feel needed.

I am so against the whole independent woman thing.

I truly am.

That is not something that I push.

That is not something that I am a fan of.

Most importantly, it makes it difficult for women like me who has to do everything on their own, is not by choice.

Make us look bad.

I don't, listen, do you think I wanna pay all these bills by myself?

Do you think I wanna go take my car to get gassed up and detailed and so on and so on?

I thank God I have brothers.

Thank God that if I do need something to a certain extent, I can call one of my father or my brothers.

Yes, I can, but they're not my men.

They ain't got that in all life.

I'm not one of them sisters that's gonna call them for every little thing knowing that they have their own family That's not me, right?

That's not me and that's not fair to them.

That's not fair to them But again, I think it's just when it comes to marriage when it comes to tradition is just based off of Your own personal preference preference.

I am a woman.

I don't want my man cleaning the house Because it's therapeutic to me and I like to clean a certain way and I've never seen

For the women who were married in my family, I've never seen their husbands cleaning the house and stuff like that.

Not to say that they can't, but that's just nothing.

No, I would prefer to do it.

Because if he go out there and say, clean that garage, baby, you got the wrong one.

I'm not touching nothing in that garage.

All right, you want to be independent, going on out there and change that all.

You want to be independent, go ahead and wash out them garbage cans outside.

Go ahead and break out that weed-whacker and that snowblower.

I'm not doing none of that.

I'm not saying that's all men do, but again, there are a lot of ladies who like to be so independent and want this or want that.

You know, as long as he buy me this and that, yeah, miss me with that.

Miss me with that.

Shout out to the chat.

Kawana said, he definitely loves coming home after being on the road half of the month.

It's his safe place in his piece, that part.

That part, right?

One of the reasons why men marry women is because of our femininity.

By the time they're outside fighting the world, they want to come home to a safe place.

They want to come home to a peaceful environment, a sanctuary, right?

There's nothing more relaxing.

than to know that you have a partner.

I don't know body, not even just men, don't know men or not women wanna come home and have a battle with their spouse.

They've already battled the world, especially if you are a brown and black person.

They've already had to battle the world.

Why on God's green earth would I wanna come home and have to battle my spouse?

Marty says facts facts facts jazz.

No lies detected want to say facts jazz He had his dad and he seen how his dad let the household and treated his mom so he understood the assignment and at the end of the day You know again, there are some men who didn't have men in their life So they may lack a little bit when it comes to certain stuff that they need that they need to do

Or that they should know to do and that's something you you have to be willing as a woman you'll have to be willing to accept that That's that's your personal preference.

But again, it's no excuse You know, it's no excuse for men to step up to the plate But ultimately whatever tradition looks looks like for you you have to determine that inside of your household Now when we go when we come back from break we're gonna talk about the history of marriage because

As someone who was married and someone who plans to get married again, one thing I do know is that marriage is a business.

And we're going to talk about it when we come back.

It should grow.

Jazz Tyler 1017 the truth.

The tap in with Jazz Tyler will be right back.

Until then, stay connected with the latest news and stories on 1017 the truth.com.

Listen, watch and tap in.

You're watching The Taffin with Jazz Tyler on the 1017th Truth YouTube channel.

Be sure to like and subscribe today.

Happy Friday, Milwaukee.

It's your girl Jaz Tyler.

You are officially tapped in, and today we are talking about marriage.

Love, power, money, and marriage.

Shout out to the chat.

Kawanda said, you are talking at talk today because moving into our new home, I was about to go do certain things, and my man quickly stopped me and said, I'm a man, Gina.

Oh man, I Know that's right.

You better move on up out his way.

You don't know about his way Marty said jazz you remind me of leaving to beaver the brain punch those were the days Now listen, I'm just again My personal beliefs on marriage is not everybody else's but you know, I do believe that there has to be some sort of tradition I believe that there has to be some sort of tradition because

Our grandparents, yes, they went through things.

However, one thing about it, their household was in order.

Their household was in order.

And one thing I know for, one thing's for certain, two things for show.

When it comes to your family, when it comes to, you know, your career, all of that, nothing else outside of your home matters if you do not have your household in order.

Point blank period.

So when we're talking about marriage,

Specifically black mayors let's talk about the history because we cannot simply copy one image of American family life and claim it to represent everybody so our ancestors enslaved black people form committed relationships and families but slavery generally denied those unions legal protection

Primarily because families could be separated through sale They did not mean it didn't mean that people lacked love commitment or family traditions It just meant that at that time the legal system denied protections that other people could claim So after emancipation many formerly enslaved couples sought legal recognition of their marriages records connected to the Fredman's Freedman's Bureau Document this history so

When we're talking about the history of marriage, if I'm not mistaken, I'm almost positive.

That's why you see a lot of black people jump the broom when they get married, because I think during that time when our ancestors were enslaved, it signified their union ship.

But most importantly, I think nowadays with social media, with reality shows, people are treating marriage as if it's something to do.

There's a certain reality show.

I don't watch it anymore.

But there's a certain person on this show who she gets engaged and married every single show.

And again, I'm not here to judge anybody.

I'm just here to simply say that a lot of times when it comes to marriage, people don't want the actual marriage.

They don't want the actual commitment.

They want to be able to say, my husband.

Or they want to be able to say, my wife.

Right.

Like it's, it's a trophy or it's just something that you just walk around with, uh, almost like a degree.

That's how today's society treated.

And when you look at the history of marriage, when it comes to our people, particularly the things we had to go through just to attempt to say that we were married or to attempt to stay committed, right?

This is something that you cannot take in vain.

They have turned marriage into a business.

Now I will say.

As someone who has been formally married to a certain degree, it is business.

There's a lot of tax breaks you get when you're married.

There's, you know, obviously the legal part of it.

There's laws, the Marital Property Act in the state of Wisconsin, all sorts of stuff.

But what I don't want us to forget about is the union ship, right?

So marriage itself...

Based off of the history in this country in America is a business So when you say I want to be married and I always talk about being specific with our words When we say I want to be married understand that that is a business But when you say I want a union ship a partnership under God that is something completely different

And I think we have to understand that a lot of people nowadays are getting married because it looks good.

They want to be this successful couple that the world see, right?

What do they call a power couple?

Everybody nowadays wants to be this power couple, but they are not.

Powering each other up and they're doing it for the likes for the looks and again because it's based off of success But what does the actual marriage looks like?

What does the actual?

Unionship looks like I want to hear from you 833 212 1017 so when we talk about the history of marriage, right?

Our ancestors were not given legal recognition

At one point in time, it was illegal for them to become married, right?

So if marriage carries legal recognition, property rights, and family obligations, the ability to access those protections matter.

It is inaccurate.

to say that Black people did not have family or marriage traditions before adopting modern American wedding customs.

Different African societies have long had different marriage and kinship traditions, and Black Americans developed family practices shaped by slavery, emancipation, or religion, segregation, migration, and economic change.

Black women also worked.

for pay in many historical periods, often under certain conditions.

So the single income household should not be presented as the universal black historical experience.

That is not the case.

So when somebody tells me they want a traditional black marriage, I want to ask what that actually means.

Does that mean shared responsibility, our religious commitment?

a husband paying all the bills, a wife managing the home.

One of the things that we don't talk about often is, you know, we mentioned our grandparents' marriage and how they was married for 40 years, right?

50 years, 60 years.

But what we don't talk about is all the things that big mama had to go through, right?

All the stuff that you didn't know, your granddaddy had other families out there, or he was an alcoholic.

or uh he was alcoholic because he was in the war or because he had to deal with racism in the south uh there was so much that our ancestors and our uh you know grandparents and great grandparents had to put up with it in those marriages but again by the time it became legal it wasn't it wasn't about the marriage it wasn't about the idea of having a husband or a wife it was the idea of having a life partner

It was about a union ship under God.

It was about saying, hey, I know that I cannot make it through life.

And this is something I say all the time.

I know as a woman, especially a black woman, being a black woman, I know for a fact that I cannot make it through life without my counterpart because we were made for that reason.

We were made to be united in union ship with, you know, our counterparts.

So to assume that you are supposed to travel through life alone, again, that's something I simply don't believe in.

We have a caller on the line.

Lee, are you there?

Yes, I am.

Hello.

How are you doing there?

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm doing pretty good.

You got a wonderful subject.

Thank you.

You know, I like I like to talk about my experience when I first got married.

When I first got married, my wife was the one.

He proposed to me.

And when we got there, she told me that I didn't have to work.

She'd take care of everything.

And I thought that was cool for a minute, but then it didn't feel manly to me to not be working.

But at the same time, I was a musician, so I was traveling a lot.

So I was out of town a lot and stuff.

But I found out though that comes up with it.

It comes to a bitter, sweet, I would say.

Absolutely.

Because when we got married and stuff, she assumed a man role basically and stuff.

And she was doing things that normally men would be doing, like I would stay home and do things like I think the wife would normally do because I was more like a housekeeper or something like that and take care of the house and cooking dinner and stuff.

And I didn't mind that and stuff, but

The thing is, I didn't, I didn't feel that I was doing the man's thing and stuff.

So the thing is though, like, um, she would come home after I picked dinner and everything.

We have dinner and stuff.

She would get dressed and leave and go out and not even ask me if I wanted to go with her and stuff and found out that she was cheating on me and stuff.

So, um, it was like a bittersweet type of thing.

Yeah.

And

so

I talked about that earlier a little bit too.

I understand to a certain degree if you are married in your spouse.

You know doesn't have the typical nine to five because I'm an artist as well So I understand that you know saying hey, I'm uh, I'm willing you know to work this out with you sacrifice and so you could chase your dreams But when a woman consciously take the role in my personal opinion to propose and to say I'm gonna take care of you to me That is because she wants to control the entire situation

And that's what happened exactly and

stuff

And, you know, we should be hung on there as long as we could.

Marriage only lasted about seven years and stuff.

I tried to hang in there and stuff, but

it wasn't

working and stuff.

So, you know, you just got to be careful when you talk about getting married and stuff.

Yes.

And what

your goals are.

Absolutely.

You have to be very strategic.

Thank you so much, Lee, for tapping in.

Hey, thank you.

Thank you for the conversation.

No problem.

Bye-bye.

All right, we got to go to break when we come black.

We are going to look Homer.

I got the Homer spirit every when we come black Shout out to our community hero today homer blow legendary homer blow when we come back We're gonna hear from winky blue and we are going to continue this conversation a 3 3 2 1 2 the phone lines are open Are you okay with your spouse making more money than you and if so who gets the final say so and what does traditional?

Marriage looks like to you.

It's your girls.

That's how the 101 7 the truth

Tap in the tap in with Jazz Tyler returns on the award-winning 1017 the truth 1017 the truth you

to the YouTube channel and 10170Truth.com.

It's Friday, Milwaukee.

It's your girl, Jack Tyler.

You are officially tapped in, and today we are talking about love, money, power, and marriage.

We got to call it on the line.

Wiki blue, are you there?

Winky, you there?

Now, how are you going to tell me you're going to wait?

And

I'll be

able to come to you.

All right.

Maybe he'll call back.

Winky.

All right.

We have Winky blowing a line, but he's not there anymore.

Today, we are talking about marriage.

And before we went to break, I was talking about the difference between marriage and union ship and the fact that a lot of people get those two.

confused.

A lot of people want the marriage, which to me is a business versus the union ship, which is something that you are committing to your life partner under the leadership of the most high.

Winky is back on the line.

Winky, are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.

Can you hear me?

Yes.

Thank you so much for tapping in.

Yeah.

The best analysis that I can give a person.

It's pretty willy.

I was just playing it.

Good thing.

He did find the wife, finding the good thing.

I had a buddy just like that guy that just called in, the lower collar.

His woman needed to be independent.

And I understand that she wanted to be everything.

She was strong.

She kept him sitting back at the crib.

And one day they was out, they went over there to Cuba.

It's a adult store over there on the south side.

And

so he's thinking,

well, you know, babe, we're gonna go over there and kick it and pick up some things or get to whatever.

I don't know.

but they went in there and they picked out a strap and my man didn't know he thought oh when he said man mom must not be big enough for her or something so anyway he's playing along with the game now this is woman now this is white this is a white they get to kick me about maybe about a week or two later she said babe where that toy at that I bought she wanted to put it on her and do my man

A man with a particular point right there that the wedding, the whole deal was done.

The whole marriage was over.

Oh, she freaked

me out.

Hold on.

And this is not, this is a true story.

She wanted to strap him.

She wanted to put the strap on and do him.

But she had been independent, got him doing everything.

Let me explain something to you about marriage.

Marriage is not a commitment relationship.

It's not a commitment at all.

It's not, that's the problem.

Everybody wants to be committed and it's not a business.

It's not a commitment.

It's a dedication.

You dedicated for dear life.

It'll mean if you're going to hold on to the lady for that long with the man.

And I heard you say something.

You said, we don't know what grandpa was doing.

Grandpa was drinking.

Grandpa was probably from the war, messed all up.

But you never said nothing about grandma that wanted to go to the pool tournaments with her girls every week, drinking scotch, hanging out, disappearing.

Grandma could be just as bad in them 61 years.

And

we

never get to know.

We never get to know.

the real story really.

If they're disciplined people, you know, disciplined mother and father, you'll never see it.

I don't give you a player.

If you're disciplined, it's certain things you ain't gonna do in your household in front of the kids, or it might not even be your kids, but certain things because there's discipline in that.

But dedication is the number one thing.

You ever seen somebody call the radio station and say, I

would

like to commit this song to Shirley.

No, they always say I want to dedicate it because she can't really repay that.

Dedication is dedication.

It's from the heart.

Commitment is I do for you, you do for me.

Commitment means you pay the ticket, you don't gotta do 30 days in jail.

You don't pay the ticket and you do 30 days in jail.

I just did that a little summary, right?

A little commentary parable.

So you figure if you do pay the ticket, you don't go to jail.

If you don't pay the ticket, you go to jail.

Simple as that commitment is you do for me.

I do for you And I tell you one thing a man needs to be needed if a if a female Don't need you man.

You cannot use her You can't use her if you want to use her in the streets or use her up for a bank loan or whatever You can't use her or you can't use her in your life as a gentleman to be Dedicated to her you can't use her because she don't need you a man must be needed a player must be needed up whoever you is

A dad must be needed.

A good man must be needed.

Thank you so much, Winky, for tapping in.