5-12-26 TP5 Things Only Men Do Everyday

Who used all the Wi-Fi?

Ah, apartment life.

Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.

Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.

Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.

Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?

The

latest trend in men, Tom.

Let's do some things to their bodies.

Men are doing this.

Men's health has dubbed this, uh, ball-maxing.

It's using different methods to enlarge the appearance of one's ballsack.

Like through cosmetic surgery?

Oh, I'm

glad you asked.

Procedure works by putting fluids such as saline, glucose, or dextrose into the area.

by using an IV line.

No.

I've,

wow, I've heard of men being toxic, but that's a biohazard at that point.

You're putting, like they inject that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

People feel a burning sensation as the saline fills up the area and that appeals to some of the people going through the procedure.

A username.

Jack.

If that is his real name.

Uh, says, watching it happen and feeling it in real time is intense.

The whole build-up is electric.

It's similar to really good foreplay.

What?

And I would say that the thought process is that is more attractive to women or to men or to whatever you're into.

Yeah, I don't- I

don't know.

Because, look, that's not really something I'm after.

Sure.

Uh, but I can't just wait a couple of years.

Then they'll just be hanging in your socks.

Ask your grandpa.

Yeah.

Yeah, the older

you get, right?

That just comes with age.

I feel like, look, I don't bat on the other side of the fence, so I don't know, maybe that's the thing, but I don't, women aren't into that.

Women don't care about the balls, just get a good job.

Right?

I'd be, I'd be on Indeed before I'm on injections, you know?

Oh, wow.

Also, if you're at that point, that sounds expensive.

That sounds like Osempic expensive.

You're injecting your balls, that's...

That's an expensive habit.

Mm-hmm.

Just pay for the sex Yes, I even go that just cut out that middle procedure.

Just you know

wonder if you could find you know like a Former NFL kicker or punter.

Hmm, you know, maybe Tori Taylor in the offseason could come back to Iowa and just square up and

Yeah.

Boots you right in the bingsack.

That does sound

like a jackass stunt.

I'm Steve Oh, and they're going to inject me while Toy Tail kicks me in the nuts, man.

Johnny, why are we still doing this, man?

It's the third last

movie.

Third last movie.

Here's the thing.

Honestly, maybe that's because of this generation, the way they play football, Brian, because they don't, have you noticed this?

They don't wear the nut cup.

anymore they can't they do balls are too big dad or they're just like they're like it makes me faster and then they they don't wear the knee pads either right they don't wear the nut cup and the knee pads they shave their legs sometimes they think that makes them more aerodynamic they

know yeah

they don't wear their mouth guard they've got long hair and jewelry on and then afterwards you're injecting your balls like I need to be more masculine like there's a couple other things you could fix first you know easy on the mayor I hope I

Honestly, maybe it's a good thing.

I hope that that causes people not to be able to reproduce and then maybe we'll just have less idiots.

Who used all the Wi-Fi?

Ah, apartment life.

Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.

Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station apartments.

Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer.

Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.

Union Station apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?

Department?

It's Top 5 Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.

Friend of the show, Tom Garland has been coming in for over two years for his Top 5 Tuesday, and the ridiculousness that goes on before a Top 5 Tuesday, things like, hey, Tom, you want to know about ball-maxing?

You know, and then you have to think about that as you go into

your top five for the day, which I'm sure that you have just like every other professional athlete or actor, actress, prepared

for what you're about ready to do.

Of course.

I love the bits that you guys do on the show, by the way.

I love the brain buster.

I like the, uh, the daily dumb ass and the, you think you got it bad, but it's so cool for me, Brian, as a comic that you let me bring in a different, uh, original top five list that I write every single Tuesday.

So before you go on in place, original.

And

that's, that's written here in Iowa.

It's not that you're lifting it off of somebody else or, or, or boosting somebody else's joke.

No, you are, you started out that this was a top 10 on your Facebook page and we were doing a top five Tuesday.

Hey, Tom, you wanna come on the show?

So when they're not funny, you can be like, oh, he definitely wrote that.

That's not from anything.

Yeah, that's not a meme.

Look, today, I'm just gonna jump right into it.

I wanted to do a list of male tendencies.

We were kind of talking about ball maxing earlier.

These are male tendencies.

These are the top five things that only men do.

Number five, watching old movies insane.

You know they're all dead now.

Oh gosh.

You know, he's dead.

You're like, good lord, dad.

What?

He's dead.

He had a cancer.

He drowned himself in there.

He drank himself to death.

You know, John Wayne is a pretty good guy.

He's dead now.

This is supposed to be a comedy.

Relaxing, yeah.

Gotta point all that stuff out.

That's good.

These are top five things only men do.

Number four, replaying arguments they won from 20 years ago.

Okay.

And then I said to him, I said, I look at, I said, I said, he's dead now.

That's what I said.

And then we finished the movie.

In silence.

In silence.

Yeah.

You can't talk anymore because of death.

Yeah, exactly.

Number three.

Number three.

These are top five things only men do.

Number three, Googling celebrity net worth.

Oh, yeah.

Do you ever do that?

Yeah, I have.

My wife will be like, this guy's crazy.

I'm like, let's just see what he's worth.

Oh, so you did that this week too?

Oh, I do it all the time.

Like anytime there's a celebrity, when Will Smith smacked Chris Rock.

I googled both of their net worth.

I was like, who's worth what here?

Let's just, let's take a look.

Yeah.

Well, and that was gosh that you want to set up that fight based upon their net worth.

Yeah.

And then that's where I place blame.

You know, it was like, I had looked them up and I remember, you know, he's like, keep my wife's name.

I was like, yeah, he shouldn't talk about his wife.

And then I

Google then it was like, Will Smith is worth 80 million or 100 million.

And I was like, Chris Rock, 40 million.

I was like, Will, you're a jerk.

Come on,

man.

Yeah, leave him alone.

Yeah, leave him alone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Number two, these are top five things only men do.

Number two, turn the music down in the car while driving to see better.

You ever do that?

You ever be like, yes, driving through the rain and then you're like, turn it

down.

I can't see.

No, that's.

100% and I'm busted on it all the time.

Why'd you turn that down?

Because I want to focus.

Yeah.

Why can't you focus when it's loud?

Because I can't.

Actually, the only thing you probably shouldn't do down is rock on a weight.

Maybe that was a bad idea.

I didn't say turn it off.

I said turn it down.

Turn it down.

Yeah.

What you got for number one?

Yep.

These are top five things only men do.

Number one, make eye contact with guys who are strangers and nod like we're FBI agents.

Is this just calling me out today?

Is that what it is?

Why I do that?

I'll see some guy.

I'll give him the knot.

I'll give him the two finger wave while I'm driving off the top of the

That sounded different.

Yeah,

sure.

You didn't

want to give him the threes.

You know what I'm talking about when you're like your wrist is on the steering wheel and then you just do like the one finger.

That's the farmer wave.

Yeah, the farmer wave.

Yeah, that's a nice way.

I mean, you're not out on the gravel roads right now.

The two fingers up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The two of you are sitting there ball maxing, getting injections and you give them the nod.

Again, I don't know what I know about you today, but there it is.