4-23-26 You Think You've Got It Bad - Cheese Witch

How often do you utilize some form of fortune telling?

Whether it's a fortune cookie.

Yeah, or horoscope Something along those lines.

You do you do anything like that?

Yeah, I'll tell you a quick one really bad first of all I'm so excited for our show in Iowa City.

That's awesome First Avenue Club.

That's gonna be great

So thanks for the plug.

But yeah, the fortune teller thing with me is kind of funny because I actually owe probably my marriage to a fortune teller.

Do you know?

Yes, me and my wife lived in Las Vegas when we met.

And Las Vegas is chaotic place.

To say the least.

To say the least, right?

And every now and then, Vegas will get you.

You

know, like when

you live there, you're like, you see these buildings, you know, made a...

Green and gold and you know a big pyramid and stuff and you're like wow that looks fun.

Let's go to Applebee's but You know you don't have money for that, but occasionally Vegas would snatch you up and and I think we had a pretty wild weekend one time we got in an argument and and we broke up

And so, yeah, and me and my wife had been together, like we had met right when we first got to town, we'd been together the whole time, we'd break up.

And she calls me up, like maybe I don't know, a couple weeks later and she's like, I wanna get back together, I wanna work this

out.

And I was

like, oh yeah, what changed?

Cause I didn't like apologize or anything yet.

And she goes, I went to a fortune teller and she told me I was supposed to be with you.

And I was like, I should have been paying that lady all along.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I should add her on the payroll.

I'm assuming that this particular fortune teller, in today's You Think You Got It Bad segment, probably used the normal stuff.

Like, maybe tarot cards.

Right.

That's what she did.

She did tarot

cards.

Yeah, okay.

Tea leaves, something along those lines.

But there's a Chicago based woman that claims she can tell your fortune.

Tell your fortune in a chunk of cheese.

What?

Jennifer Billick is a travel writer and a tarot card reader who calls herself the cheese witch Okay, she practices something called Tyromancey an ancient form of fortune telling that interprets shapes textures and patterns in cheese Wow

Mm-hmm

getting alone for that I want to rent this place.

Here's my business plan.

This is this is the cheese.

I'm gonna use you're like who is this lady?

I mean she picks it up during the pandemic after stumbling across food-based fortune telling so there is a subset of Fortune telling that includes

food I mean is this nice cheese is it like a manna made or is this like just from high V like is this hmm

Yeah, I think maybe great value.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The quality of your fortune comes with the

quality of the cheese.

I would think so.

Yeah.

Do you ever do any of those fortunes, fortune teller things where you plug quarters in at like an arcade?

Oh, yeah.

You

know, I mean, an arcade documentary.

It's called Arcade Gamer.

It's on Amazon.

There was there was always the guy Zoltar.

Remember that?

Zoltar.

Zoltar.

It's in the movie Big.

You plug the quarter in and there's a little guy with a turban on and he does he tells your fortune Zoltar.

I feel like if it was about cheese, he'd be Zoltarella.

I love that guy's voice, right?

He'd be like, give me a quarter, and I love quarters.

I don't always give him the quarter.

I'd be like, I want to see if it's the cheese.

He'd say, Gouda, Gouda, that's very Gouda.

I read your poem, give me quarters.

Plug another quarter in.

Cheddar, you chase money, but it's always great at the way.

Plug another quarter.

Swiss, too many holes in your life, no flavor.

You plug another quarter.

You lack, I mean, you lactose intolerant.

You plug another quarter, he takes your picture.

Cheese give me a quarter.

Oh If you can not only sing like we've seen in your reels, but do that voice That's actually I have a whole hour as I go Please

welcome to the comedy show.

Give me a quarter

Don't need a fortune to be told you could see Tom Garland on the stage headlining first Avenue Club Iowa City the no Apologies comedy show

The Rock 108 morning show

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