3-10-26 You Think You've Got It Bad - Vintage Advantage

Tom Garland's with us stand-up comedian and I know that you have to have known either yourself or others that have had a side hustle besides Besides doing stand-up comedy, right?

What makes you think I would have a side hustle Brian?

I'm a big comedian you have to talk to my agent

Okay, who's me on a burner phone and line me up for these but yeah, yeah, definitely the whole industry is like that.

They're all side hustles eBay freaks a lot of really Oh, yeah a lot of guys get into eBay auctions all sorts of stuff like flipping stuff or what do they do?

Yeah flipping stuff.

Yep flipping autographs flipping sports memorabilia furniture clothes Merch

interesting because that kind of leads into or you think you got it bad today because a woman named Lydia

who's featured on the TLC show Extreme Cheapskates, learning, has turned funeral tracking into a full-time wardrobe strategy.

For nearly, go ahead.

Funeral tracking.

Yes, funeral tracking.

For nearly six years, Lydia has been scanning obituary listings and then offering grieving families a free estate clean-out in exchange for keeping the vintage clothes of the recently departed.

Wow, she's weird.

I

mean, is there money in that though?

That seems more like borderline fetish.

Like she wants to.

She's going to wear the

clothes.

Yes, her personally.

Oh, yeah.

No, Lydia says as a result, she has not bought any clothing in years.

Yeah, she's weird.

She's freaky.

What was she like as a kid?

Right.

She loses her first tooth starts wearing grandma's dentures.

No, that's not what you're supposed to be doing here.

No, I think I'd like to date that girl though Yeah, if I was single I'd be afraid to ask her body count.

Oh, no She's she's probably into older guys Brian.

Yeah much much older guys former guys.

Yes.

Yeah, did she wear the guys clothing too?

You know, she'd probably wear something from

the estate sales, right?

She'd show up to the date and she'd be like, do you like my dress?

And you're like, that was my answer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why do you smell of mothballs today?

I understand the free estate cleaning.

And then when you lose somebody from a family, there's a lot to think about.

So when somebody offers up a service like this, you're like, yes, please.

Yeah.

But then to have them wandering around your neighborhood.

With Nana's clothes on yeah, it's from Lane Bryant or something like that.

You know you just wonder

Albus Oh You got some petty loafers there awesome exactly.

I what happens when she dies.

Oh That's my question.

I didn't think about this.

Yeah, she has all of it in a bunker They like open there's like a nuclear blast they open it up in like a hundred years the next civilization And they're like

Wow, generations of people lived down here.

They'd be so confused and be like, what is all this is?

This person lived to be a thousand, you know,

over and over in the Far East, they have the terracotta warriors and all she has is the mannequins that have all the clothing on them.

Oh, yeah.

Gosh, that's weird.

You're

looking for this brooch.

I feel like to like when when she dies, I feel like she'll have it already, though.

for somebody.

Yeah, she won't be a burden on anybody.

She's got

somebody else that takes over the business.

Yeah, it'll be like break glass in case of emergency.

And you just you like smash that open and then everything's got price tags already.

Yes, everything's neatly marked.

Just like a garage sale.

Yeah, I love it.

The Rock 108 Morning Show.

It's Top 5 Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.

Tuesday's friend of the show, Tom Garland, stand-up comedian is with us.

And Tom, my friend Mike, loves this time of year.

Because you're getting into conference basketball championships, like the Big Ten Championship.

Yeah.

Getting into things like watching the selection Sunday.

So much so that he and a buddy actually put in not one, not two, but like four or five televisions to watch.

the tournament when it gets underway.

Really?

And he's got

like his own sportsbook.

He

does, essentially.

And so he's watching and he just wishes that in the state of Wisconsin that he could bet because that would just be dangerous.

Yeah.

You know, he did go to Vegas one time for the

tournament on this.

Honestly, I like March Madness in Vegas.

I think it's one of the more fun times to be out there.

One of the things you can do is they'll give you like a bet slip, you know, and your bet slip is good for a comp drink.

But people lose all the time and they are

No, and then they drop all their bet slips and they just leave them there.

And then if you're a scumbag like me, you just walk through the sportsbook and pick up all the old bet slips.

Winner, winner.

What am I gonna turn this one into?

Tequila on the rocks.

That's right, you know it.

That's awesome.

So what you got for today's top five?

Well, let's talk about basketball then.

I like that.

But you're very right that it's very male dominated.

for it still is.

It tends to be, right?

So if there's women listening and your man is giving way too much attention to that, it could bleed into other things that maybe you're not so happy about.

So these are the top five signs that your man is watching March Madness during sex.

During during boy top five signs your man is watching March Madness during sex number five He keeps yelling finish strong at the rim The rim get the rim We're

gonna have to catch that on an instant replay

There might not be an instant replay for me after these, Brian.

I apologize.

These are

the top five signs your man is watching March Madness during sex.

Number four, he tells you, we need better ball movement.

Move the ball around.

I

love this.

This is great.

Just one.

Yeah, just one?

There's only one out

there.

These are the top five signs your man is watching March Madness during sex.

Number three, he's like, all right, working around the perimeter.

Brings out the clipboard, too.

He breaks a

clipboard.

Oh, yeah.

That's really nice.

Throws a chair like Bobby Knight.

Gonna watch out for these things.

I didn't realize that the March Madness was bleeding into the bedroom.

Wow.

That's right.

That's right.

Because that's what can happen, Brian.

These are the top five signs.

Your man is watching March Madness during sex.

Number two, during the finish, he yells, get in the paint.

Get in there.

Kaboom.

Boom.

And boom goes the dynamite.

Yeah, exactly.

All right, so let's pull up on number one here.

These are the top five signs your man is watching March Madness during sex.

Number one, watch out because there's women's basketball too, guys.

The women like the basketball just as much.

So she's like, oh, come on, my back.

Well.

Okay, on my back.

Got a double team sometimes.

Yeah, yeah.

That's when you're like, maybe we should just see other people.

And she's like, maybe we should start a bracket.

Yes,

exactly.

This could almost be a daily dumbass here.

I thought this was kind of interesting in the fact that you've got someone that is wandering into a house in Missouri.

All right.

They wander into the house and in that, this is ridiculous.

She's behind bars now.

She walks on into the home uninvited, pours herself some fruity pebbles, but does so not into a bowl all over the kitchen.

Okay.

She takes a moment then.

That's the family dog.

All while the homeowner was outside doing yard work.

So this is during the daytime.

I

love it's a woman.

Yes.

Right.

I love that they use the term uninvited because if you're a man, that's called a break in.

But if you, if you have the right parts, Brian, she's just uninvited.

I never thought about it that way.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

You've ever been at a party and some girls show up.

You're like, did anybody invite them?

There's an extra dude.

You're like, who is this guy?

Right.

Yeah.

Who are you?

Why are you drinking the beer?

Not okay, right?

A child inside the house told officers that he smelled something burning, went downstairs and found the 33 year old Tiara sitting there without wearing pants.

So she's poured the fruity pebbles all over the kitchen started something on fire Yeah, and it's not wearing pants at this point pet in the dock

Wow That's bold that's bold, but I will say it's up until her removing her pants It's kind of like she's doing uber eats in reverse.

Yeah, there you go You know that could almost be an app you think like we can call it uninvited eats

Oh, yeah, you could just do that.

Introducing Uninvited Eats, the revolutionary app that helps you find food already in someone else's home.

With Uninvited Eats, there's no tipping, no delivery driver, no permission required.

Every order comes with a complimentary dog.

I love this.

And you could almost steal the line from the haircare club for men, you know?

My name's Tierra.

I'm not only the president of uninvited eats, but I'm also a client.

I'm also not wearing any pants.

You're like, here, let me get you doing a state sale.

There's somebody's pants you can wear.

You know, and you've got something here.

Like if a guy is to spread a cereal across the floor and it's fruity pebbles, suddenly he's, you know, in big, big trouble, but she's got the fruity pebbles and pet in the dog and, you know,

no pants.

Picture this, you walk into your, you walk back in, you're doing yard work.

There's a dude, no pants, cereal everywhere, pet in the dog.

I'd shoot him.

Right, that'd be the first, right?

I'd stand you ground, get out of the way.

Well, it is Missouri.

Yeah, exactly, right?

It's one shotgun pump and that deed's done.

With a girl, you walk in there, there's a woman with no pants, cereal everywhere, you're like, hey, you weren't invited.

I don't have to pay you for this, right?

There's movies that start like this.

Yes, there is.

I wonder

what cereal it

was.

pebbles.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Fruity pebbles.

You know, it wasn't captain crunch.

It wasn't, uh, you know, shredded weeds or anything like that.

No, it's fruity pebbles.

Well, if you walk into someone's house with no pants on during the day and start petting their dog, you're probably missing a couple pebbles.

You might be a little fruity, little fruity.