Transcript
12-9-25 TP5 Things Iowa Has That Vegas Doesnt
The Rock 108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall · Tue Dec 9, 2025
Welcome back, Tom Garland, from Vegas to this.
Thank you, Brian.
I appreciate it.
You know, one of those things that you have to deal with when you travel out to Las Vegas is you have to deal with the Pat Town that is from the TSA.
Oh, yeah.
I get it all the time.
Do you?
Yeah, I
think I fit the profile, like, fat, pale, like chubby dude with a big mouth trying to come through the TSA.
I don't know why.
They're attracted to me.
They just look at you and there's a disposition that they say, yeah, we want to touch this guy.
Yeah.
I'm like a, I'm like a six and a nightclub, you know, like everybody thinks that they can get on it and six
at a nightclub.
Yeah.
But for TSA, you are an eight and a half.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, you know, sometimes when you're trying to go through TSA, you got to put something through the X-ray machine and there's a guy in China right now who
May have had something inside himself.
He's a 67 year old man who started experiencing abdominal pain and Bloating about a month ago so his doctors run some scans They had trouble figuring out what it was so they performed an emergency procedure and had trouble getting this out of his stomach because of its smooth slippery exterior when the guy was shown images of the objects shape he figured it out
He figured it out time to show him an image.
Yeah, mm-hmm 30 years ago.
He was out drinking and had swallowed a plastic lighter on a dare Wow 30 years ago 30 years ago.
He swallowed this plastic lighter.
That's quite the brown out.
Do you think yeah?
You know, you know when you black out you just forget but
when you
brown out later something catches your memory and you're like, oh, I did do that
That was me.
I'm the worst person when I'm drunk.
His was 30 years later at a doctor's.
Yes.
He assumed that he had passed it through his system.
How do you assume this if you don't see it or hear it?
Yeah.
That was it.
Thank goodness this is out.
That reminds me of like that sounds like that poem.
Remember that like children's poem that's like the lady that swallowed the fly.
Have you ever heard this vaguely maybe okay, so there was an old lady who swallowed a fly I don't know why perhaps she'll die.
Oh, that's
the thing, right?
So this would be like there's a drunk guy who swallowed a lighter He said one more shot and the bartender said no you're a fire starter
Nice work.
Thank you.
I appreciate that I cool right there.
Yeah, I almost went white white wrapper on us on the rock station Maybe this is why you're going through TSA and padded down
Doctor's eventually able to remove it during an endoscopy, but they had to wrap something around it first.
Uh-huh.
Turns out it had been corroded, but it still worked.
Wow.
You know, I've heard of light and your farts on fire, but from the inside, come on now.
That should be like the commercial for BIC lighters.
Yeah.
I used to smoke.
I don't know.
Did you ever smoke?
Only when I was on fire.
I was a big smoker, so I kinda get why he may have swallowed it though.
Imagine the next morning, you wake up, you're in a motel bathroom in like a tub full of ice, you're like, oh my god, did they take my kidney?
Like, oh no, good, they were just trying to steal my lighter again.
They always do that, they're always after your lighter.
It's Top 5 Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.
Friend of the show, stand-up comedian Tom Garland was recently in Vegas playing on Fremont Street at Jimmy Kimmel's Club and just going back to his roots of comedy in Vegas.
The trip went well.
Yeah, it went really, really well.
Then I got home to Cedar Rapids at like, I don't know,
Midnight get out and my car was dead.
Oh geez
There's a nice young gentleman at the Eastern Iowa Airport that worked in guest services.
I gave him $25 and he came out and jumped my car.
So that's one in the morning.
That's very nice.
I get to unburry it and scrape it out.
Yeah, see that's welcome home.
They should have another thing at the airport where you have a place where like a warming shed.
Yeah, you know, they call that a garage.
I think there was a garage.
Is that the, uh, the next phase of the Eastern Iowa airport
is to build like a- I think it should.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, we gotta rebuild all, you know, gates one and two, and then, uh, you know, maybe get a three.
Yeah.
You know, and then the next thing is a parking structure.
Parking.
Parking would be nice.
Yeah.
Not just on the gravel.
Yeah.
Not just, just sending it out to, like sometimes you're part, you're like parking, I feel like you're all the way out.
Ah, it's too much.
Yeah.
You know, they don't have the trolley like Adventureland does where it just brings you in.
No, they don't.
And I was kind of hoping that, like, when we walked out there together to jump my car that he would have some kind of mobile way to get out.
Because, like, I went out, tried to start up and freeze in.
I'm like, gosh, darn it.
And then so I come, I'm like, oh, we got to go out and jump my car.
He's like, OK, which way do we walk?
I was like, walk.
There's got to be, like, another guy with the thing they put old people on that's like, beep, beep, beep, that can take us out there.
Yeah.
The hub
around was on the charger.
Yeah, let's ride, bro.
It's riding style.
So you're happy that you were back or you're like, you know, oh, I loved it, man.
I love I love performing in Las Vegas.
It's always great to do shows there.
People from all over the world, you know, people from different states.
So it's kind of like doing a little tour without going anywhere.
You just get to stay in the same place.
But I do, even though I sucked with my car, I love coming home to Iowa.
I prefer Iowa.
I'm an Iowa boy and raised in Cedar Rapids.
Yeah.
And I think people don't realize they're like, oh, it'd be so nice to get out.
But there are things
that Iowa does better than Las Vegas.
So these are my top five things today.
These are top five things that Iowa has that Vegas does not.
Number five, cows that aren't wearing a bachelorette sash.
Yeah, I'm not interested, Bessie.
I'm sorry.
Congratulations.
Yes, fantastic.
Thanks for coming to my show.
I came out swinging right out the gate, Brian.
Yes,
you did.
I'm so excited to have time back.
And then he's like, oh, cow joke.
That's great.
Yeah, no, that's good.
These are top five things that Iowa has that Vegas does not.
Number four, cows who don't ask, so what do you do for a living, baby?
19 times.
I see her over there.
Do you like to get touched by the TSA?
Oh, did that jackpot just hit?
Look, I got car problems.
I
got.
Yeah.
Would you like to come up to my room?
I'm number seven.
It's only one floor.
Would you like to help me jump my car?
We can jump something.
Yeah, there you go.
That just arrailed.
These are the top five things Iowa has that Vegas does not.
Number three, cows who eat grass laced with snow and don't try to sell it.
Yeah, OK.
Isn't
that
one of those guys that stand on the corner there in Vegas?
Yeah, there's plenty of those guys.
They have mad cow disease, I
think.
Oh,
definitely, yeah.
I'm 44.
I always... I feel like people don't understand they can leave Vegas.
I see that all the time.
There's like a guy that'll crawl out of the sewer and he's like, I'm like, I think the bachelor party's over,
you know?
It's definitely.
Go get on the deuce.
Make
it happen.
I think it's time to go home to Wisconsin and tell everybody you're sorry.
Just in time for the holidays,
dear Tom.
Oh, yeah, this
is I don't
know
why I went He's also from Minnesota.
No, they're up north there.
Hey, you know, you've got a town I'll just unless I used to live up there, you know, you have a little fish supper
What you got going on?
These were top five things that Iowa has that Vegas does not number two cows
Number two, cows that won't text you at 3 a.m.
asking you for rent help.
Oh, hey.
Dot, dot, dot.
Moo, dot, dot.
Bestie, I told you I'm not gonna make you.
I'm not gonna help you with your rent this month.
And these were the top five things that Iowa has that Vegas does not.
Number one, cows.
Oh, you can.
Number one, cows you can tip without getting arrested.
Yeah, there we go.
You done that before here in Iowa?
You ever tip the cow?
I have never tipped a cow.
No, it is.
I've Venmoed a cow before.
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So Tom Garland, have you ever traded in anything to a video game store or a CD shop back in the day?
Yeah, I have I feel like that never goes.
Well, like there I feel like they've just got the the number is four dollars no matter
whatever you bring
it You could bring in anything dude.
You could bring it like this is an original Nintendo NES.
That's four dollars Yeah, you've got like well, I've got about 30 games in this box.
That'll be four dollars Yeah, like maybe they'll throw in a Funko pop
or $5 store credit, but it never, you never get the money you think you should get.
That's
hilarious.
You said the Funko Pop.
Here you go.
Do you want this?
Yeah, but I don't want K-pop demon hunters.
Yeah,
it's always an obscure one,
too.
It's
like, oh, Wonder Woman 1984.
Nice.
What am I going to do with this?
Oh,
cool.
I got a Greg Allman.
That's what I was been looking for.
Exactly.
Over the weekend, GameStop did exactly that.
They invited customers to push the limits with their trade anything day.
People made the most of it.
Some of the trade-ins included.
Let's start with something simple, like McDonald's Grinchmas socks.
Okay.
Yeah, McDonald's gives you socks and then you're like, you know what?
Let's bring those to GameStop and see if we can get $4.
That's a that's quite the cycle right there.
Like I've go to McDonald's.
I'll eat.
I'll get a happy meal toy.
I'll take it to GameStop.
I'll get some store credit.
Yeah.
Back to McDonald's.
That's a that's a that's a bad loop.
Yeah.
A WeDisc from the now defunct Netflix Disc Rental Service.
Yeah.
I mean, is that worth $4?
Yeah, that's $4.00.
Yeah, definitely.
One last couple of last things.
A stuffed bobcat.
You want a little taxidermy in your life?
Bring it into GameStop over the weekend.
Like an actual animal bobcat?
Yeah, an animal bobcat stuffed
and ready to go.
For some reason, my Iowa brain went to like bobcat, like the plow.
That's obscure
a stuffed
a stuffed excavator
fantastic.
You got a backhoe over there.
All right, fantastic
That's
like that's like oh you went you went Christmas shopping at Tyson's that's
Make sure you grab the popcorn on the way out.
No doubt and then finally a painting of Snoop Dogg.
Oh, yeah Is that is that an original or a print?
I have to imagine An original painting of Snoop Dogg now.
How bad did it look?
Yeah
You know like where's the velvet Elvis or the you know anything along those lines?
This is a mixed media on 12 by 16 canvas of one Mr. Brodas
You know what they probably of all those things I knew they were gonna be obscure that
they
traded in I can tell you one thing I think they did not trade in
no no
their v cards
Oh boy.
A bunch of lonely male loneliness epidemic guys that are like, yeah, I will get a good painting of Snoop Dogg and get my whatever
it
is.
You should probably just try to talk to women,
you know.
Yeah.
You know, if you're trading that in, do you know three songs by Snoop Dogg at that point?
It's like the T-shirt thing.
Yeah.
Can you name three songs?
Well, no, I actually was trying to get the DLC for this over here.
Come on
now.
They're there by proxy because of Martha Stewart.
Yes,
exactly.
My mom, whose basement I live in, likes Martha Stewart.
So I have
this Snoop Dogg painting.
She taught me how to
cock.
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Hellstorm, love bites.
So do I with a Rock 108 morning show.
And it's Brian Marshall joined by Gunner and Matthew Nelson on the line right now.
What happened to your hair?
It's available next Tuesday from Post Hill Press.
Gentlemen, welcome to the show.
Hey, thank you.
Thank you for having us.
I'm glad that we get to follow Lizzie Hale.
That's always something that is intimidating to do.
She's awesome.
What a voice.
Now you guys said off air that you haven't had the chance to meet up with Lizzie yet though.
No, but everybody that we play with and run into is always like, you guys hang with Lizzie Hale, because, you know, we live full time just south of Nashville in Franklin, Tennessee, and her and her husband are always jumping up and playing whatever's happening around town.
It's just when we get off the road, we usually want to kind of hibernate a little bit, but we've always just missed them, but she's definitely on the list for somebody we want to shake hands with.
Mark Slaughter has been telling me about Lizzie for years and how cool she is, and I hope we get to cross paths.
so the legacy for you guys matthew and gutter nelson what happened to your hair the new book available next tuesday and uh... you can order it now on amazon easy to find but the legacy i mean seven generations but what music were you guys into when you guys were growing up
well you know we were growing up around our father's phase of his life when he reinvented himself as a country rocker with a band he put together called the stone canyon band which was uh... actually cited as the country
From the country Hall of Fame is one of the first country rock bands.
It was right when that whole Laurel Canyon sound thing was happening in Hollywood.
So you had, you know, Linda Ronstadt and Jackson Brown.
Of course, you know, Poco, all that stuff.
And our pop was right there at the very beginning of that after, you know, spending most of his life on television with the Ozzie and Harriet show and then being one of the very first rock and rollers in the Elvis era.
I mean, he sold half a billion records in his career.
So we were clearly influenced by him and his music, but
When we were growing up, it was all that SoCal kind of country rock stuff for the vocals, which rubbed off on us.
And then a lot of the stuff that our dad's producers were doing, like John Boylan produced Boston.
So like the first Boston album really got to us and Foreigner and all this stuff, the big arena rock stuff.
So it kind of, we melded it together.
And that's what kind of gave us the Nelson sound of like that with Everly Brothers Army was kind of what we were doing.
How hard did you guys have to fight?
or against the name itself or being brothers or being twins to have your music heard at first.
Was there a struggle in that?
Well, I think it's a struggle for anybody that wants to actually break through.
You know, of course, for the two of us, we started playing when we were really, really young.
Matt, now we're about six years old when we got our first instruments and we started playing the LA club scene when we were 12.
And the irony there is everybody kind of identifies us with that whole sunset strip hairband scene.
that happened in the 80s and we actually started playing professionally 10 years earlier on that same circuit but we were doing all of the night clubs that bands like the knack and x and uh the motels and bands like that it was more kind of like a a new wave heavy heavy pop thing so you can kind of hear that in our music as well i think the irony is we're really considered that the book ends on the whole hair band era probably because
We were all over MTV, and they didn't really know where to put us.
You know, we were kind of like a heavy version of The Hollies, more than a blues-based Guns N' Roses type thing.
So we stood out in a good and in a bad way.
I think what's nice is that when you hear five seconds of us, you know it's us.
which is a good thing but yeah I think we had we write about it in the book we had an awful lot of people that thought well look at these two sons of and this is just a hobby for them you know and we just spell a lot of myths in the book it's like it's a good read
you know some people would say you killed hairband music
oh good well that's great because we get some of it did have to die
I mean, and looking back on it, you know, once in a while we get to play with certain, some bands can still bring it, but we're also 10 years younger than a lot of those bands who are giving us a lot of crap.
It all happened while you're going through Baltimore and 98 Rock.
Oh, OK.
Well,
who was who was who was your favorite program director at 98 Rock
in Baltimore?
Was it Brian Cruz?
I'm trying to remember
who.
Oh, no.
So I introduced the guys to who they're talking to it's Russ
Mautler Yes, your favorite
other set of twins
Oh We've got stories with this guy.
Oh boy do we have stories Hey strip clubs used to be pretty cool
You guys are epic from from that town.
I have a story for gunner.
I've been waiting to tell gunner for 30 years now
Uh-oh.
Here you
go, Gunner.
What did I do?
You don't have to mention names if you don't want to, but I would like it.
When you played the lunchtime concert for us, and they were huge at Baltimore, they were huge, and we used to do free lunchtime concerts, and Nelson came and did a lunchtime concert, and Gunner walked in the studio
um for the interview before the show with this striking woman yeah and he said
this
this is my girlfriend and you introduced us i can't remember her name um do you still remember what week was it say again i
said what week was
it oh yeah i'm getting there so do you remember who who that was
To be honest with you, it was a blur.
I'm sure it was because here comes the rest of the story.
So you said stay with Roster in the show and we were up in the wherever watching you guys perform.
About a month later, another band came through the studio.
I can't remember who it was.
And the same girl comes walking through the door and she looks at me and goes,
Like, don't say anything.
Well, I don't know, man.
She might have been a trained professional.
I don't know.
I will say, a month later, she came through again with another band.
Well, good for her.
She must have loved going to radio stations.
Yes, she must have.
She must have been really into the radio
process.
He loves the radio process.
Gunner and Matthew Nelson on the Rock 108 Morning Show that were a new book.
What happened to your hair is coming out next Tuesday and Russ.
The first
time I heard from these guys, they were driving down 95.
This is the story.
They were driving down 90.
It
was you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're in the book, man.
You're in the book.
No way.
You are.
You heard the story in the
book.
We have to tell about the story about the first time we ever heard one of our songs over the radio.
We just done the Bobby Poe Radio Convention.
All of our friends back in LA who were listening to a pirate radio at the time were saying, oh, we're hearing love and affection all over the radio.
We'd never heard it because we were out
recording our
record.
And you took, you know, you actually took that to heart and we were on our way, driving away from the convention.
And you came over the air and said, this is for my boys.
They haven't heard this song yet.
You know check it out fellas and you played love and affection and we had a that thing you do moment we got me pulled over the car.
More more of the idiots that we are already are we had such a great time but you are actually in the book sir.
I was wondering if your manager was just using that to get me to play the song.
No
that was that was absolutely a thousand percent true.
That's cool and all I still want to find out who that chick was.
That was so funny.
And then we had you for a birthday show in the place you were going to play got burned down.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, sir, it did.
And we had to move the show to Hammerjacks.
Yeah, it was Hammerjacks.
Matthew and I were actually in the hotel.
That's also in the book as well.
We were in the hotel.
We were actually about to play the next day.
We heard the fire trucks.
We saw the glow on the horizon.
We looked out the window.
It's freaking the place we're going to play is burning to the ground.
Well, one of the things that we do on Tuesdays gentlemen is we play top five Tuesday So with the limited time amount of time remaining I thought a top five Tuesday Russ you have the top five what yeah guys if you want to play I have the top
five songs of 1990 the same year your album came out these
are the
top five rock tracks Let's see if you guys and Brian
can get the top five rock tracks of 1990.
Number one was a band was hard rock band from the started in the 70s.
OK.
OK.
That was probably Great White.
No, but a very bluesy band like Great White and older than Great White.
Older OK.
Great White.
They had their second coming in the in the 80s.
They were basically a drug doubt band from the 70s.
Perhaps White Snake.
Is it white snake?
Nope.
They're from Boston.
Oh, it's Aerosmith.
It's Aerosmith.
OK.
All right.
And then what would be 1990, gentlemen?
What do you think?
Is that love in an elevator?
It was on the same album.
That would be pumped, right?
No.
Yeah, the album was pumped.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, we're pumped.
We have the
same record.
Janie's got a gun.
go.
Yeah.
We had the same record guy, John Colodner.
I read about John Colodner in the book.
That was a very interesting relationship you had with old John.
By the way, your agent sent the book as a PDF and I've been reading it on my phone.
Very difficult, you cheap bastard.
Send the real
book,
will
you?
We'll send you a proper one, but as you can attest, it's a wild ride.
It was so much fun putting this thing together.
Difficult to put together, but we had a lot of fun doing
it.
I'm from Boston.
I bust balls.
Get used to it.
We like it.
What do you got for number two?
Number two was West Coast band that you guys would probably be familiar with.
Funk rockers from the West Coast.
Funk rockers.
Is that Faith No More?
Yeah, it's
Faith
No
More.
What was
the
song?
Oh, that's right.
Weren't they from San Francisco or
something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're Bay Area.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, I remember that.
Yeah.
The RIP Magazine party.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And the song
was, is it
epic?
We got two for two today.
I
love this.
Number three, a
quirky, influential track that brought alternative rock into the mainstream, established the band as pioneers of the Lala Palooza era.
Oh, guys.
Oh, come on, Matt.
My name's Neil.
Nope.
The there's a woman's name in the title of the band.
Oh,
and she said, yes, James Addiction.
Very
good.
What was the song in
90?
Uh, oh gosh,
was that mountain song or was that been caught been caught
stealing?
And number five is a British punk who really grew up in Long Island.
Oh, a British punk of not Billy Idol
Billy Idol.
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
Well, wouldn't be rebel.
Well, no.
Pleasure fantasy.
No,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no,
no, no, no,
no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
I can't believe I'm teaming up with Nelson for a top five
Tuesday.
Speaking of teaming up, I still want to figure out who that girl
was.
I guess I was hoping to find out from you.
I guess we'll never know.
Here's the clue.
Here's the clue.
The band that came in later.
Was it by any chance, kiss?
No.
Because if it was, I would know who the girl was.
Really?
Oh, that's funny.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I will say I had Jean and Paul in one day and we went to dinner in little Italy in Baltimore and Paul, I mean, Jean, when it was time for dessert says, Russ, do you think you could find us some women for tonight?
Russ.
Do you think you could find some women?
So so I said yes, I will miss dessert for you guys and I went to the local strip club Yeah, like who wants to hang with sheet and Paul?
For the listeners out there, they got to get a cast your mind back strip clubs were different before only fans
figured out that the only the only women that work at strip clubs now are the ones
that can't do an OnlyFans page.
They're covered with prison tattoos and they have the, you know, the caesarean smile thing happening and a punch.
Pretty grim.
That is a
little rough.
But back in the day, yeah.
That is an excellent observation.
We come from a different time and weird stuff happened a lot.
Yes, and it's amazing how many of these girls were just working their way through college.
And the one thing was great.
We didn't have photographic proof.
thank God.
There
were no cameras.
You can get away with everything back then and we did and we wrote about it.
It really is like the stories are in the book.
Oh, yeah.
Don't get nervous, Brian.
Yeah, don't worry.
We change some of the names.
Don't worry.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Chips enough has some very good stories about you guys.
He's such a good guy.
It didn't involve a fruit tray and two sisters, did it?
It did, actually, yeah.
Oh, boy.
Okay, yeah.
That's in
the book, too.
Well, thank you guys.
I gotta say, on a personal level, you're the only other set of identical twins I know.
I'm an identical twin.
And that bonded me so hard to you guys because nobody knows.
the identical twin experience except other identical twins.
And
even the bastards that are just brothers from the same womb fraternal twins don't know.
They don't
know.
No, because they weren't the fastest swimmer.
You guys are awesome.
It was great to reconnect with you.
The new book, what happened to your hair available next Tuesday?
Gunner and Matthew Nelson here on the Rock Whatta Wait Morning Show.
Gentlemen, thank you so much for being with us here today.
That was fun.
Well, thank you and shameless plug.
It's available for pre-order on Amazon right now.
I still want to know who that chick was.
Looking forward to talking to you guys again.
Thanks so much.