9-9-25 Top 5 Things More Likely Than Winning The Powerball

Who used all the Wi-Fi?

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Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station Apartments, furnished in-unit washer and dryer.

Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually enjoying where you live.

Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

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KFMW

Waterloo Cedar

Falls Cedar Rapids

Well Tom Garland's here, which means he didn't win the Powerball I don't play what you play you don't

play you don't win Tom Garland That's what they say.

I don't know it was so high

that it was, what was it, 1.8 billion?

Something like that, yeah.

It was in billions.

Wow.

I mean, what would you do?

There's some people that go, oh, you know, I'd win a million dollars, that's life-changing money.

I know exactly what I would do.

You first, what would you do?

1.8 billion,

Bernie.

Two

chicks at the same time.

Oh,

wait, that, no, that's just from office space, sorry.

That's all right, Ron Livingston's from here.

What would I do with that kind of money?

Gosh, I'd be responsible first, you know, take care of the debts.

pay off the house, that kind of thing.

And then after that, lots of hookers and blow.

I would ball

out at high V. Like that would be the first thing I do.

I wouldn't like, I would just go to high V. I'm, you know, I'm a big guy.

I'm a fat dude.

So I would go to high V. I'd be like, give me all the eggs.

All of them.

You can't have those anymore.

No, I'd take all of them.

And there's another thing I would do.

I just missed like the COVID days when everyone was frantic over toilet paper.

I would buy up all the toilet paper and just...

Just hoard it, man.

Tom

Garland.

So TG with TP.

Yeah,

I'd sell it like a drug dealer.

The futures on toilet paper just went up 16%.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Uh, so what about when in the power ball?

What else is going on?

All right.

So that's my list for today.

I honestly think if you're out there and you play, you know, I don't know if the lottery is an advertiser, but they probably want to appreciate this.

I don't think you, I don't think you can win.

I truly don't think you can win.

Okay.

So I think certainly.

there's things that are a lot more likely to happen.

They always say like, oh, you're more likely to be abducted by aliens.

But I think even further than that, it can go.

So these are the top five things more likely to happen than winning the Powerball.

Number five, it's more likely they'll rename the Department of War again.

And they'll call it the Department of, whoops, my bad.

The Department of, oh, did you press that?

The department of who's on this text thread with us.

Who's phone number was that?

Somebody forgot about that one.

Number four, it's more likely the Phillies Karen will now elope with Steve Bartman.

Oh, that is a deep sports reference everybody.

There's never been somebody that should have like no better way to prove that match.com works.

Then if the two of them linked up like yeah, some will grab the ball right from the field and the other one just steal your ball.

Yeah, right out of These are top five things more likely to happen than winning the powerball number three It's more likely Hawkeye fans will tailgate longer than the offense is on the field this year Yep Check more likely that

Kirk will stop chewing gum and figure it out.

Yes.

I'm still bitter.

Yeah.

Number two, it's more likely the National Guard will have to start driving Ubers once they get to Chicago and see the cost of living

there.

Yeah.

It's not just downtown,

folks.

I always like when you check your Uber and it's like some name you can't pronounce, you know, it's like you're like Ubaka and your Uber's pulling up.

Imagine if it's just the tank and you're like, General Smith, get in.

You're not Norman Schwabskopf's kid, are you?

There's a deep reference.

That was deep, but good.

Alright, last one.

These are the top five things more likely to happen than winning the Powerball.

The number one thing more likely to happen than winning the Powerball.

Number one, it's more likely Elon will buy the lottery just to rename it.

He'll call it X-Balls.

And then Phyllis Karen will take it right out of your kid's hand.

Hey, I'd like that honestly like if I if I came home, and I was like honey, what are you watching?

She was like my x-balls.

Yes They never hit I want to see my x-balls hit.

Oh, I love it Tom Garland's got a show coming up.

Tell us more about it big show man CSPS Hall That's in Cedar Rapids in the new boat district.

You can come see me on the 27th man September 27th

It's an 8 p.m.

Show you want to get tickets you can go to my website Tom garland stand up comm or just google Tom garland csps Get some tickets man come hang out with us.

It's gonna be hilarious.

It's a stand-up comedy show me two other comics It's a Saturday night.

It's gonna be fun that Saturday night.

What's the date on that one more time?

September

27th awesome We'll have him in a couple more times before the 27th and

That's some ideas for this one.

That's a top five Tuesday here on The Rock 108 Morning Show with Bush.

Everything Zen.

Who used all the Wi-Fi?

Ah, apartment life.

Bad Wi-Fi, mystery laundry piles, and a roommate who says, I'll Venmo you.

Maybe 2027 deserves an upgrade.

Coming August 2027, Four Lakes Properties introduces the brand new Union Station apartments.

Furnished, in-unit washer and dryer.

Internet included a great central downtown location, one to five bedroom apartments, and no double occupancy fees.

That's less adulting and more actually

enjoying where you live.

Union Station Apartments, now leasing from Four Lakes Properties.

Wait, we have a washer and dryer in the apartment?