4-15-25 Top 5 Extinct Species to Bring Back

Before

we get into the normal shenanigans of the top five Tuesday Buttercup and Butterscotch

The miniature horse is running around in Corville, Tom.

Aren't you glad that you're in the world of stand-up comedy and not having to chase around miniature horses?

I mean,

that's a tough day as a police officer.

I'm not gonna lie.

That's almost worse than like going to somebody's trailer at like two o'clock in the afternoon for a, you know, he's got a knife or something like that.

It'd be like, Johnson, go out and grab those horses.

Like, what do you, you know, like, come here, horsey.

Come here, please come here.

You know, how do you wrangle horses?

Uh, carefully?

I guess carrots maybe yeah, what do they want to

if we learned anything from the movie half baked you give them Everything you know are you hungry?

This butter this doors is a diabetic Butter stuff that's it seems like whoever owns these horses in Corvall is a huge half baked fan.

Yeah,

I

They're both both the names, huh?

Yeah, it was like

buttercup and butterscotch.

Why is

there butter on everything of these little horses?

Why can't they call like shed spreads country

horse?

You need to give him a professional name.

Just oh just Ed Ed mr. Ed Give

him a stage name.

Yeah.

Yeah now coming to the stable.

Here's I don't know stud muffin I

don't know.

I'm just trying I wonder if they were

They're real horses, right?

They're not because nowadays you have to wonder because now we got wolves that are just they were extinct and now they're back.

Yeah, somebody's bringing back Wolves that we shouldn't

have or from Game of Thrones or whatever

the hell's

going on.

It's like it's some Jurassic Park stuff, dude.

You've seen this that the dire wolf.

He was extinct and now he's back.

They've reanimated him some.

Reanimated like Kujo

style.

That's kind of creepy at cemetery.

It gives me hope in that if we can bring back an extinct wolf, then maybe we can bring back other things that are extinct.

All right.

All right.

So this is, this is my top five for today.

Top five extinct things that I'd like to bring back.

Number five, planes that don't crash.

Nope.

Just a plane that takes off from point A to point B, you know.

Remember, we were complaining about airline food.

We were like, you know, you're like, oh, the food is terrible.

Now it's just like, if it could just land, I think I'd be okay.

Yeah,

just all on the

ground.

Just land.

Thanks.

Well, it does.

It just has to land, you know,

softly.

Yeah, you can keep the peanuts.

and the blankets and the free water bottles.

I just wanted to roll.

Number four, these are things we're bringing back because they're extinct, unhealthy athletes.

I miss it, dude.

Don't you miss it?

All the athletes now are super healthy.

It's gross.

Lebron, he doesn't drink.

Give me a break.

Oh, come on.

Give me a break.

Yeah.

Where's Jim McMahon with just the aviator sunglasses all the time?

Exactly.

Where are baseball players with cigars in their mouth and dip and all this other stuff?

John Daly.

Yes.

Where are you?

Yes.

That's awesome.

Like, man.

Number three, billionaires that don't get involved.

Uh-oh.

Imagine this you've you worth a billion dollars and somebody says like hey Did you hear about what's going on in the country?

And you're like I don't care.

Yeah, but you gotta make it more efficient.

No, I'm good I'm efficient as it can be I have a billion dollars I'm gonna go to my private island.

Maybe not a certain private island, but I'm gonna go Watch out for that plane

There's a plane that never crashed.

If any plane could crash, it wouldn't have been the Epstein Airlines.

That one could have gone down, but no.

I don't think that that's a name that they want anymore.

Yeah.

That's not one that you can be like, let's just rebrand.

No, no, it's just done.

These are top five extinct things to bring back.

Number two, celebrities with scandals we can ignore.

Yeah, remember when Britney Spears just shaved her head.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was easily you're like, ah, she's crazy.

Whatever.

I'll still listen.

This song's catchy.

Yeah, you know, you can't do that with like now the stuff happening nowadays.

You've got like Louis C. K. He's like, can I shave my head in front of you and lock the door?

Watch

me shave my head.

You're like, no, this is too much.

Steve will blow himself up somewhere.

Yeah.

And the number one thing that's extinct that I would like to bring back is stuff made from China.

Oh, we're going to miss it, man.

We're going to miss it.

Nice, nice, cheap stuff made in China.

Yeah.

Where's that team going to go?

I don't know, man.

That team.

You know what they're still going to do?

They're still going to email us.

Yes.

No matter what.

Like you're still going to get that text.

from T-Move that's like, I stop to cancel and then you're like, stop.

And it's like, are you sure?

No,

I'm a crazy

ex-girlfriend.

I'm absolutely sure.

But do you

want to come back?

Tom, I'm looking for you.

Maybe they'll sell us some planes that don't crash.

Oh boy.

Tom Garland, if you miss any of the top five Tuesday, they are now available on video.

Yeah, you can find them on my Facebook page.

I need to get them up on my website.

My website is just Tom Garland stand up.

But if you Google Tom Garland, you'll find me and I'm gonna be in Vegas man last week of April on Fremont Street performing So

just on the street itself like with a hat out there.

Oh, I'm gonna be at it's a place called notoriety at the Neonopolis It's right on Fremont Street.

So there's plenty of time to catch a plane And have it land safely have it land

safely in Las Vegas.

No, sir.

I like that idea.

Just don't take the helicopters No, it's got smack with a wink

The Rock 108 Morning Show.