Brian Marshall & The ROCK 108 Morning Show - "Tom Garland's Top 5 for March 4th"

Did you watch the Academy Awards?

For a hot second, then realized

I didn't know anything.

Nobody got punched, which I was slapped or anything, which I was just like, I was ready.

Batista's there.

Let

it go

full WWE.

I

was ready for it.

One year, they should do it in Iowa.

Ooh, this is the top five Academy Awards if it took place in Iowa.

Number five, best supporting male goes to Iowa's punter.

Always to the friend of the show, Tory Taylor.

Tory Taylor, always to the punter, right?

Making us look like we know what we're doing.

Number four, best editing goes to Riverside Casino for changing the state rules on casinos.

That's

a finger,

my friends.

Number three, best sound goes to cicadas for being disturbing and soothing at the same time.

I love the sound.

You like the cicada sound?

So

do I until I see them.

And then I'm like, because what are they doing?

They're making a loud noise because they want to bang.

It's been 17 years.

I've been underneath the ground.

What happens?

I'm coming out.

I want bang Just trying to get it

on.

Yes.

Oh, sorry.

I derailed you.

No, you're good.

Let's just talk about cicada sacks Why do we even do a list?

Number two the these are Academy Awards Oscars if they took place in Iowa number two best visual effects is Casey's pizza for looking like it hasn't been sitting there all day

Get it out to my car and I'm like, that is some greasy cardboard.

And then the last one, number one Oscar of Iowa goes to, obviously it's always best picture, right?

And the best picture every year, no matter what, is Kim Reynolds' DUI mug shot.

Friend of the show comedian Tom Garland is here for a top five Tuesday morning.

Good morning, Brian question for you.

Yes, sir I know that you had toured a lot.

He went across the country doing a stand-up.

Yeah, did you ever have a time where another comedian pranked you?

Yes, well at one point I got very good working the crowd and I started to pride myself on that nobody could throw me off on stage that there's the I ended up embracing kind of hecklers and liking that sort of thing and so one of my friends was like oh I've got the ultimate heckle that you could never beat and I was like you could literally say or do anything while I'm up there and I'll just always feed off of it and I'll always win.

And so he was like, all right, let's try.

And so I knew this was coming, which was even the worst part.

So I kind of know the heck was coming, but I'm not sure when.

And then he's in the back of the room and he just goes, bop, bop, bop.

And he just starts making this noise, this bop, bop, bop.

And at first I was like, I was playing with it and

I

was like, huh, what's that?

And he was right, I just unraveled.

Like you can't beat just the, there's no response that you could possibly continue to give to just like a random noise.

in the back of the club.

Did this go the entire set?

Yeah, yeah.

And it was

just

every now and then he would just throw at it.

Like as soon as I'd start doing good again, he'd throw the noise back in.

And I just, it was one of the hardest bombs.

And then so then I come off and we're like both laughing about it.

And people are looking at us like, are you laughing with the guy that just

ruined your set?

That was weird.

I wonder because

Is often the case west scantlin from puddle of mud an absolute mess during a recent puddle of mud show sure and He claims that he was pranked by one of the band's original bass players take a listen to this time

I suck I suck and I suck But I was rupee my old bass player Sean salmon rupee'd me last night

Oh, that's not pop, pop, pop.

Supposedly he was roofied.

But during COVID, he had sat down with some guys in like a studio room and they had all these great cameras set up and ready to go and he's covering Nirvana and absolutely annihilates it in a bad way.

And sounded a lot like that.

So he's been roofied not more.

He's had a couple of roofies.

He's popping them, dude.

He's

popping the roofies.

I've always felt like, people throw that drug out, like maybe this talks about my history too much.

People throw that drug out and act like it's a common street drug.

They're just like, oh, you know, I was roofied, oh, roofied, dude.

In all my years of drugs and debauchery, I never saw a roof, never knew.

I wouldn't know who to get that for.

Can you imagine going to your weed guy and being like.

Hey, yeah, you got any sativa?

Yeah, you got roofling, too?

Do you have any of that?

Oh, no, you see, it's a prank.

My old guitarist singer, we're in a band.

It's we used to be big, but now we're washed anyways.

I would just like to stick this in his drink.

It's not sexual in any sort of way.

It's just

I wanted

to bomb and be on TMZ and like what?

I think Wes is trying to find an excuse and just went with the roofie route.

Totally.

Yeah.

And it's like, okay, well, what else could you tell us?

It was that's out of date.

Also, that's a weird.

out to his, through the former bassist you said?

You know, like, oh, he's a Cosby, he likes to roof him.

That's a really hard way to throw him under the bus.

And afterwards they have a Jello pudding pop and everybody's happy.

Exactly.

Tom Garland has the top five Tuesday and it's coming up after the news.

It's Top 5 Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.

Stand up comedian and award-winning filmmaker Tom Garland.

is returning for another Top 5 Tuesday.

Thank you, Brian.

I appreciate it.

Arcade Gamer, not only taking best documentary at the, uh, the last con that you entered it into in, well, Chattanooga, right?

Yeah.

And you've taken other awards for that particular film, right?

Yeah.

We should have just put it in a bunch of, we put it through like film festivals, which was kind of funny because it's a movie about our, exactly what it sounds like.

It's called Arcade Gamer.

It's about guys that play arcade games quasi professionally and, uh,

have set world records in that world and that sort of thing.

But we sent it to like film festivals that were like, oh, this is not the, this is not the caliber of film that we would normally take at the Tribeca or whatever.

But we sent it to Comic-Cons and then those nerds were like, this is awesome.

I've watched this in my mom's basement like 15 times.

So that was our target audience.

I don't know what I was

thinking.

And that's the cool part is the award-winning rimshot

has been retired for this week.

I'm not bringing that back this

week.

We need rim shot.

Yes.

Yes, we did that last week.

And I, you said, and I didn't even realize the comedians do not like the, but um, we don't mind it, but it, I

don't know.

And the Oscar for rim shot goes to.

Yup.

No,

I said I retire, I put it away.

You retired it.

I guess I didn't retire.

It's just, it's on the shelf for right now.

Cause you said, no, don't do

that.

It's like that button is like four inches away from you at it.

It's less

than that.

I'm looking at it right now.

What do you got for top five today, sir?

Well, speaking of award shows, uh, did you watch the Academy Awards?

For a hot second, then realized I

didn't know

anything.

Nobody got punched, which I was slapped or anything, which I was.

It's just like, I was ready, Batista's there, let it go full WWE.

I

was ready for it.

Anyways, I kind of think it's boring because it's this big Hollywood to do and I think they should do it.

One year they should do it in Iowa.

We do the caucus in Iowa.

Let's do the Academy Awards in Iowa.

So this is the top five Academy Awards if it took place.

in Iowa number five best supporting male goes to Iowa's punter friend of the show Tori Taylor Tori Taylor always do the punter right making us look like we know what we're doing like there was a plan all along number four best editing goes to Riverside Casino for changing the state rules on casinos

Just we'll just edit that.

That's a

finger, my

friends.

You've got to be in current events for that one.

Nice work.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

Number three, best sound goes to cicadas for being disturbing and soothing at the same time.

You're not wrong.

I love the sound.

You like the cicada sound?

So do I until I see them and then I'm like,

oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You don't want to see them because what are they doing?

They're making a loud noise because they want to bang.

It's been 17 years.

I've been underneath the ground.

What happens?

I'm coming out.

I want

to bang.

I catch you on that one.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

Never thought of cicada.

It's just uh, that's

just trying to get it on.

Yes.

Oh, sorry.

I derailed you.

No, you're good.

Let's just talk about cicada sacks.

Why

do we even do a list?

That's great.

Porn hub slash cicada.

Cicada hub.

Legal in all 50 states.

Number two, these are Academy Awards Oscars if they took place in Iowa.

Number two,

best visual effects is Casey's Pizza for looking like it hasn't been sitting there all day.

I'm always like, oh, that looks good.

And then I get it out to my car and I'm like, that is some greasy cardboard.

I

can't believe it.

That didn't take long, did it?

No.

So they say it's the best.

It'll be the best on the way out, too.

And then the last one, number one, Oscar of Iowa goes to

Obviously, it's always best picture, right?

And the best picture every year, no matter what, is Kim Reynolds DUI mugshot.

Best

picture ever taken.

Tom Garland with his top five here today.

Where can they find you on social media?

Yeah, you can you can

find me in trouble with the governor just about anywhere.

You can find my comedy special is called selling out and it's on to be so it's Tom Garland selling out and that's on to be you can watch that for free.

Tom Garland with us.

He's going to hang out for just a moment.

I wanted to highlight something that's tied into our low do new metal birthday show and Tom may have worked with one of the bands on the bill.

That's coming up.

Lincoln Park one step closer.

It's either this or you hit

the snooze button again.

It's time for Brian's brain buster on rock 108

friend of the show Tom garland still with us Brian's brain buster today two out of 100 people have done this with their pet Some earlier guesses on the show Tom been buried with their pet.

That's so disturbing professional photos taken together took them trick-or-treating went to therapy with their pet What yeah taking them to therapy.

I'm imagining it's a different type of therapy maybe physical therapy

That was guest here earlier today.

Nate

had said, picked up girls at the park, which two out of a hundred, please.

Yeah, that number's a lot higher.

Yeah, that's a high number.

Shelly B picked up their front legs and dance with them two out of a hundred.

I thought everybody does.

Yeah, I thought so.

It's like the first thing you do with the dog, depending on how tall the puppy is, right?

Let's see, or Justin K had them stuffed after they die.

So a little taxidermy.

Do you mount them on the wall?

Who taxidermies their dog two out of a hundred people according to Justin?

You

don't think so?

No, not since like the pharaohs.

Do they do that?

That's like That I feel like was strictly strictly an Egyptian thing for a while and then after that who's taxidermy a dog I mean, this is a very small number here.

So yeah, okay

two

out of hundreds 20%

Well, 20% of

people is it is it 20 or is it two?

Yeah, okay Cuz 20 out of 100 would be 20%

Oh, it's early.

Don't worry.

Okay math.

There you go public schools Anyways, I'm just saying you're right.

It's 2% but still even if you would

have you ever gone into two people's house?

And you're like, here's the horse that I killed.

Here's the pheasants.

And then there's our old dog Chester, you know, in my basement stuff.

You got to imagine that there's someone that's a taxidermist here in the state of Iowa, Eastern Iowa, and they quietly have done this and they don't talk about it.

Right.

Cause then how do you say, you know, okay, well I can take care of your deer, your elk.

your big game kill that you had out in Montana?

Yeah, I'm sure if you're a taxidermist, there's a lot you don't talk about.

I'm sure that's not like... If you go to the bar on a first date and you do taxidermy and the girl asks you, what do you do for a living?

I'd be like, I'm unemployed.

You don't lead with... I stuff animals and I'm looking to stuff you.

I

stuff you like a cicada.

Yeah.

I've been in the ground for 17 years.

I'm ready to go.

Staying mud shovel, three, one, nine, two, three, four, five, three, six, nine.

Brian's brain buster.

Get in today with your guesses answered by seven 35.

Tom is going to talk to us about one of the bands on our low dough new metal birthday show when he was out in Vegas.

Great story coming up.

Kings and sleep when I'm dead on Rockwood.

Oh, it's Brian Marshall, Tom Garland, Fred of the show in here right now, Brian's brain buster.

We're weighing in on this two out of a hundred people have done this with their pet.

What is it?

And you can be a part of the show at three, one, nine, two, three, four, five, three, six, nine.

Do you got a guess on this one?

I think I might have a good guess.

All right.

Go for

it.

I'm going to say two out of a hundred people bend the cord over their dogs.

Now I want to know why you think that I like that one.

Think about it because if people break up and they got a dog, who's getting a dog?

Oh, they write country songs about that.

They do.

I understand.

I don't listen to old.

I've heard they do.

But

I'm unemployed because I'm a taxidermist.

Who's this?

It's Kevin from Clarksville.

Well, how about that, Kevin?

Yeah, two out of a hundred.

Yeah, it's it's not getting the animal stuffed.

Unfortunately, Tom.

I was mentioning the low dough new metal birthday show

And I haven't had as much interaction with Spider from Power Man 5000 as you seem to have had.

Well, yeah, I used to bartend in Las Vegas, among other things.

I did stand up there.

And so during the daytime, usually I bartended.

But occasionally I'd take a night shift and one night I'm bartending and I bartended at this bar called the Nerd Bar,

which is

exactly what it sounds like.

It's on Fremont Street and it's kind of a local spot.

It's a little off the grid, but everybody down there

Doesn't come there to gamble they can they come to play video games or to nerd out or do cosplay or all this kind of goofy stuff But the owner there is a local guy obviously and he had

kind of started this thing where if famous people would come in, they would get free drinks.

So word got out amongst famous people and they started coming

in

just to get free drinks.

Lots of pro wrestlers would come in there.

Edward Furlong came in one time from Terminator.

All these cool weird kind of quasi B-list celebrities would drink in there.

And so one night I'm bartending, the place is literally empty and these guys come in and they're like, well, I heard we get free drinks.

And I was like,

Well, who are you?

And they were like, well, you know, and so and so, and I was like, who?

And they were like, power man, 5,000.

And so I was like, oh, okay.

And so I just started serving up free drinks.

I guess point of the story is if you're ever in Vegas and you go to the nerd bar, just say you're in a band and just make up a band and you can probably get free drinks because I don't know how to check if it was really them or not,

but I just- Bleach and spike your hair and make sure you're wearing leather pants.

Yeah, exactly.

That sounds like you could be in a band.

Yeah.

And then just tell them you're in some band.

You're like, hey, I'm in Eve 6, you know?

Yeah.

You're like, OK, here you go.

I didn't get paid enough to care.

So I'm

the

rhythm guitarist and Brother Kane.

I believe it was them, though.

They were super nice.

They were cool.

Big tip.

You

really?

Oh, yeah.

That's really

cool.

Yeah.

They're good dudes.

They're going to be headlining our Lodo New Metal birthday show.

And we'll have tickets yet this hour.

Tom Garland, thank you for stopping by.

One more time with your social medias.

Yeah.

check me out just it's just Tom Garland you can google me and find all my social media all my clips and that sort of stuff you want to check out my comedy special it's Tom Garland selling out and that's on to be for free

cool we'll see you next Tuesday thanks Brian all right and coming up forecast next it does include a blizzard warning