Brian Marshall & The ROCK 108 Morning Show - "Tom Garland's Top 5 - Sept. 10th"

The top five Tuesday for today, it's really for tonight, because the debate is tonight.

The Harris-Trump debate, right?

So that's... Oh, why'd you say it that way?

Well, I see... I knew, dude, I knew if I brought this in, I was like, this is... I'm gonna be in trouble, dude.

But this is probably the last... Maybe I'll get fired to this one, right?

Alright, let's go.

This is a drinking game for the debate.

So top five debate drinking game rules.

We're going to make drinking great again.

We're gonna build back drinking and end of quote, repeat the line.

And we're gonna do it in 2024.

Number five, if you hear about Trump getting shot, take a shot.

Oh, you just don't take it in your ear.

You take it in your mouth.

Oh, okay.

Number four, if you hear about being unburdened by what has been, then you chug your drink.

Number three, if you hear about Sleepy Joe, take a ball rip and a Xanax.

Number two, if you hear about Hunter's laptop, then you smoke crack and take a selfie.

Whoa.

Wow.

Wow.

These are just jokes, Brian.

And the number one rule for the debate drinking game, if you hear about COVID, take horse dewormer and inject bleach.

From the top.

It's top five Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.

It's

Top 5 Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.

Friend of the show, Tom Garland, joining us here today.

Morning, Tom.

Morning, Brian.

When you were in Vegas, did you ever have anybody stop by on the way to getting married or had just come from being married or propose at one of your shows?

Yeah, it was almost me once.

One time I was out there in maybe circa like 2012 or 2013.

I was doing a show and I had too many to drink afterwards.

And there was a girl from like New Zealand and I was like, we're getting married.

We're getting married.

And then we went and the wedding place was closed.

Thank God.

What was it about the New Zealand girl that made you

like?

I was just like, I was like, you are American now.

I will let you live in this country now.

I bring this up because.

We had someone stop by yesterday, 90 minutes before he was going to get married downtown at the courthouse.

Oh, at the courthouse.

Yes.

Yes.

Justin had stopped on by and he was looking for Ned.

I don't know if he was looking for Ned to be his best man.

I don't know if he was wanting us to stand up for him, you know, but 90 minutes swings on by the radio station.

Before he gets married that's quite an odd bachelor party

There's 90 minutes left bro as a single man.

What do you want to do?

I want to meet Ned

He clarified I've met Russ, but I really want to meet Ned

It's like, hi, do you even know who I am?

That's fine.

That's a good one to be left out on.

Just like, hey man, I wish you the best of luck.

Hey, what you going to do on your honeymoon?

Yeah, that's so weird.

I think you said they were going to do a spa day.

So, you know, we'll hopefully... On the honeymoon?

Yeah, probably.

I bet he goes to

KCRG and screws with them.

I bet he's just saying.

There's Bruce Howdy still

in there.

Justin Roberts, I want to know what the weather's going to be like.

He's at the Colonel's stadium.

I want to meet Mr. Shucks.

I

want to meet him.

I want to see his big baseball head face.

See, if he would have had just a little bit more planning, you could have definitely had a bunch of different people standing up for you.

You could have Tom Garland on the end, Mr. Shucks.

A girl from New Zealand.

A girl from New Zealand.

illegally.

You could have, who else could we have found?

There was a local celebrity.

Justin Roberts.

Let's call him out.

Let's bring him on out.

Who else?

Mayor O'Donnell.

There you go.

We're running thin on Cedar Rapids celebrities already.

Notice I didn't put myself in there.

I don't know why you put me in there.

Well, you're here.

Yeah.

I'm also probably at the courthouse sometimes

too.

Hey,

Tom Garland's here.

Like, well, sometimes.

So on top of not only doing top five Tuesday, Tom has a wonderful stand-up career and

A filmmaker, which I did see went up for another award.

Yes.

Yeah.

Well, we were in a festival this last it was it was in Mason City.

It was called the I'm gonna screw it up, but I think it was called the

Iowa independent film festival and yeah, so the the film I made is called arcade gamer that's out on to be right now and It's even on YouTube.

It's just called the arcade gamer.

You can find it for free on there You can buy it on Amazon if you want And then my stand-up special is called Tom Garland selling out that's on to be it's absolutely free Tom Garland selling out 45 minute stand-up special that's out right now

so

And on the stand-up special, there is no top five.

I'm sorry.

No, and my dad got mad.

My

dad was upset about that.

He was like, well, you really should have done the top five that you do with Brian.

It's just a shame you didn't do it and stuff.

So it's catching on, man.

For your father, the top five Tuesday for today.

The top five Tuesday for today.

It's really for tonight, because the debate

is

tonight.

The Harris-Trump debate, right?

So that's tonight.

Oh, why'd

you say

it that way?

Well, you see, I knew,

dude,

I knew if I brought this in, I was like, this is, I'm going to be in trouble, dude.

But this is probably the last, maybe I'll get fired

to this one, right?

All right, let's go.

All right.

So this is the top five debate, but this is a drinking game.

Okay.

This is a drinking game for the debate.

So top five debate drinking game rules.

Okay.

You ready for this, Brian?

I'm ready to go.

We're going to make drinking great again.

We're gonna build back drinking and end of quote repeat the line and we're gonna do it in 2024 Nice work.

Thank you Number five if you hear about Trump getting shot take a shot.

Oh You just don't take it in your ear.

You take it in your mouth.

Oh, okay Number four if you hear about being unburdened by what has been then you chug your drink

You unburden the beer you chug the drink right number three if you hear about sleepy Joe take a ball rip and a Xanax Go to sleep Number two if you hear about hunter's laptop, then you smoke crack and take a selfie whoa Wow

Wow These are just jokes Brian.

She's like 708 my goodness.

It's so early

Google it,

it's out there.

And the number one rule for the debate drinking game, if you hear about COVID, take horse dewormer and inject bleach.

My friends, Tom Garland talking about the debate tonight.

That just swayed the votes.

I don't know which way.

Just don't take number two to heart, please.

Please.

Again, they can find you on social media where they

find you.

Tom,

go

man.

My, my website is Tom Garland standup.com.

It has all my dates on there for shows.

And then you can find my standup special.

Go watch that man.

It's called Tom Garland selling out.

It's on to be.

It's absolutely free.

P.S.

I saw that Rob Van Dam had commented here recently on one of your, your thing said WWE Hall of Famer.

Just hanging out.

Yeah,

dude.

Me and Rob Van Damme, dude.

Rob Van Damme and I did a movie together.

It's called Headstrong.

That's on 2B, too.

You can check that out.

Headstrong or RVD, Headstrong.

That's on 2B.

That's on Amazon.

That's on all sorts of stuff.

I'm in the movie.

I'm about 100 pounds lighter and I'm 25 years old, but it's an awesome movie.

So maybe Justin, when you get your honeymoon underway, Tom Garland can do a five star frog splash right on top of you.

It'll be great.

RVD.

Tom, thanks for stopping by.

Thank you, Brian.

Three days.

Grace, the good life.

That's Kitty, their new one called We Are Shadows on the Rock 108 Morning Show at 724.

Friend of the show, Tom Garland, sticking around.

Uh, I... Here's the reason I want you to stick around.

Research suggests that medical clowns could help children recover from pneumonia faster.

What is defined medical clown?

That's horrifying.

Uh, you ready?

Yeah.

Medical clowns undergo specific training to work in hospitals.

They've been shown to reduce pain and alleviate stress and anxiety in children and their families during medical treatment.

So these are individuals in scrubs and also dressed up like a clown.

Could you imagine going on a date and you're you're telling the girl you're like

You're like, well, I work at the hospital.

And then she's like, oh, that's really good.

You work at the hospital?

Well, but I'm a clown there.

I put it on the red nose.

Have you ever seen Patrick Adams?

He's like that.

But I really go all out.

I squirt water on the kids.

They reach in my pocket and he keeps going.

Wait, what?

That's more magician, right?

I hope so.

I don't know if you should be around a kid and ask him to reach into your pocket.

Medical clowns, they use humor, music, and playfulness.

Oh, no.

To help patients cope with the stress of being in the hospital.

Clowns are scary, man.

You know, anybody who's ever trained to professionally be a clown?

Yeah, Steve-o from Jackass.

Yeah, open for Steve-o a bunch.

And Steve-o is the, he's a clown first, and then he's, you know, he's a skateboarder and all the rest,

second.

But

can you imagine that?

Like you have, what did you say it was, pneumonia?

Yeah, you have pneumonia.

You have pneumonia, you're nine years old, and income Steve-o.

Hey, I'm your medical clown, bro.

Look, just get up, man.

Just tell me what's about it.

You getting pneumonia, you gotta get back up.

Hi, I'm

Steve-O, and welcome to the hospital.

He keeps going down the hallway on one of the gurneys.

Wow.

Like they did in the shopping cart,

yeah.

Oh, but there's so many people that are afraid of clowns.

Even you said clowns are creepy.

Yeah, I don't really

like them.

Yeah.

I'm not horrified by them, but there's a creepy level.

Is it because of the movie, It?

I've never seen that, actually.

Probably because it freaks me out.

I don't want to watch it.

They all float down here, Tom.

That's so weird.

I couldn't do it.

But in the- Hello, Tom.

No.

Dude, no.

Can you imagine that?

I know you like stand-up, Tom.

What

if

that was your, this is, I'm going to, you know where for this, but what if that was your make-a-wish?

Like, you're like, you can, you can have anything you want, Billy.

What do you want?

Like, I want to have the, you know, living hell scared out of me.

I want to go to like a haunted house and have the it clown scare me.

And maybe that'll cure me.

Like, I hear you have pneumonia.

Honestly, you're scaring me right now.

Like if I just dip out, that's what's going on.

I'm looking right at you, Tom.

I know you have a stand-up special.

I can't handle it,

dude.

Selling

out available now.

That's actually kind of cool.

I'm not going

to lie.

You're

not going to plug into that.

Make sure you check it out on Tubi.

Watch your stand-up special, man.

Thanks for hanging

out.

Sorry that I creeped you out a little bit.

No, no, it's cool.

That's just not where I saw things going.

You were like, let's talk about clowns.

And I was like, yeah, clowns are fun.

And then at the end of it, it was just like a nightmare therapy session.

Antibiotics for everybody.

Forecast and Godsmack on the way.