
Transcript
Brian Marshall & The ROCK 108 Morning Show - "Tom Garland's Top 5 - July 9th"
The Rock 108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall · Tue Jul 9, 2024
Tom Garland who's done stand-up not only here around eastern Iowa but also in Vegas you worked with and have opened for other jackass guys including stevo right yeah so stevo he's on a podcast and the fella says this I
came up with the idea a few years ago um to get a boob job and just like you know like to film a film a bunch of you know just like
Fill a bunch of really legitimately funny hidden camera pranks.
Like with me in disguise, in various disguises.
Like, and then revealing like who I actually am.
That's
so crazy.
Please tell me that there is a top five associated with this, please.
Because we're all wondering what's the reason, right?
So these are the top five reasons Steve-O is getting breast implants.
He thinks the D in D cup stands for dude.
Yeah, dude.
Number four, he's vegan, so he wants to know what it would be like to have udders of his own.
Oh, God.
Number three, his pronouns are pain and stupidity.
Oh, yes.
Number
two, he's banged so many hot chicks, he's become one.
The number one reason Steve-O is getting breast implants is he wants to be able to say, hi, I'm Steve-O, and welcome to Pornhub.
Yes.
Nice work The Rock 108 Morning Show
It's top five Tuesday on the rock 108 morning show
straight up seven o'clock Brian Marshall and friend of the show Tom Garland in studio here today and rarely do I call you the day before a top five Tuesday, but I did so yesterday
Yeah, you called me.
What was it yesterday around five o'clock, which is late for a morning show host?
Yes, you know And when the phone rang I was like, oh Brian is canceling this segment.
So I thought I was just done
Uh, but instead it was something else.
Yeah, it was something else.
Usually
if I'm going to cancel something, I'll do it face to face.
Oh, no, I'm the air.
No, we're not canceling it.
No, I wanted to bring this up because Tom Garland, who's done stand up not only here around Eastern Iowa, but also in Vegas, you worked with and have opened for the jackass guys, including Steve.
Oh, right.
Yeah,
absolutely.
Yeah.
And I think that.
Uh, I think this might be the answer to today's brain buster even that what makes
it was like what
I think the answer is breast
implants is it now?
Uh, so stevo he's on a podcast And the fella says this I'm gonna play this for you.
I'm gonna leave the mics open so you can take a listen.
This is ridiculous
I came up with the idea a few years ago To get a boob job
And just like, you know, like to film a film a bunch of, you know, just like film a bunch of really legitimately funny hidden camera pranks, like with me in disguise in various disguises, like, and then revealing like who I actually am.
Just funny endurance stunts and like whatever.
I've just been so particularly in love with that idea because the the comedy.
The opportunity for comedy, I believe, is absolutely there.
It's the quintessential, like, steve-o, that level of commitment.
I'm
only
gonna have these for, like, max two months.
they're coming out.
I spoke with the doctors, and I said to them candidly, I was like, you know, the one thing I'm really...
like, freaked out about and bummed out about and would back out of this over, is if like, I'm just gonna be a mess afterward.
And I was like, and then the doctors are completely unfazed or like, like two months, it comes out like absolutely no issue.
All right, Tom, you've worked with Steve before.
He would like to get breast implants.
Oh, it.
Trust me, if he says it, he's serious.
Like he's probably wearing a training bra right now
in
preparation.
I'm just, he is, dude, when he says level of commitment, those guys are for real.
I've done, now I did their stage shows with them, right?
But I have done stunts with them on stage, which I always thought was a compliment.
They'd like bring me back up and we'd do a stunt together.
But people don't believe that even live, you know, like, they're like, did you really just do that?
And like, I just squeezed lemons in my eyes.
Like, do it again.
Don't believe you come do it at the bar with us and you just like all right I guess
there's a difference between squeezing lemons in your eye and getting boobs Yeah, no this is dude.
This is as extreme as it gets I I don't know I was talking to my wife about it last night And she was like do you think they're filming a new movie?
And I was like the craziest thing is no probably not You know like that they you know they just they just had what is it?
Jackass five that just came out.
You know, you think that this would have been a stunt in the film, like a big budget thing.
Instead, I just think he's just like, that's just how his brain works.
That he's just like, maybe today we'll put, you know, like that's.
Please tell me that there is a top five associated with this,
because we're all wondering what's the reason.
So these are the top five reasons.
Steve Oh is getting breast implants.
Number one, he thinks the D in D cup stands for dude.
Yeah, dude Number four, he's vegan so he wants to know what it would be like to have others of his own Oh God Number three his pronouns are pain and stupidity.
Oh, yes.
You should have that on a business card, please
Number two, he's banged so many hot chicks, he's become one.
How much tail would he pull?
Seriously.
They do, they all pull tail.
The tail might be a little different with
double
D's.
She's not gonna like you if yours is bigger than hers.
Probably not.
The number one reason, the number one reason Steve-O is getting breast implants is he wants to be able to say, hi, I'm Steve-O and welcome to Pornhub.
Yes.
Nice work.
Tom Garland, you're doing some stand up, but you're going to be outside of the Hawkeye State where you had it.
Yeah.
Well, it's not till next week, but on the 18th, that's next Thursday, albeit HD Tavern in Holman, Wisconsin.
Are you sure that that's not double D Tavern?
It could be, yeah.
That probably makes more sense than HD.
I bet in a home in Wisconsin, they're probably not getting HD
reception.
Probably not.
That's awesome.
Or can we find you on social media?
Or can we find your site?
Yeah, you just find my website.
It's tomgarlandstandup.com.
You can social media me, just Tom Garland on Facebook, and Tom Garland, LV, like Las Vegas, and everything else.
You know, I was looking through the library, and I found the perfect song to wrap this whole thing up with Steve-O getting boobs.
It's Psycho Stick because boobs on The Rock Whatta Wait Morning Show.
Shallow side filters featuring Elias of nonpoint with rock 108 So Sarah is a tiktok influencer who spent tens of thousands of dollars on body tattoos and now
They say like others in Gen Z, she's experiencing tattoo regret.
Sarah, tell us your story.
Imagine, if you will, that you put a shirt on once when you were in your 20s, and now you have to wear that for the rest of your life.
And that is what it feels like to get heavily tattooed before you turn into a fully developed adult human.
So I think if you ask almost anybody that's over 30, if they have a better idea of who they are in their 30s and they did in their 20s, they're going to be like, oh my god, yes.
I have all of these tattoos.
reflect who I am at 36 they might have reflected a moment in time in my 20s maybe a moment in time that I was like not doing so well mentally and now like I have adult problems my ascetic just does not match no shade to the artists still get a ton of compliments on them just wish that they weren't on my body I was told that I would regret my tattoos when I got older I am older and I do regret my tattoos and you might too
So she mentions adult problems.
I mean, we all have adult problems.
And knowing a good tattoo artist, I know several, who will sit you down in your appointment and walk you through, okay, if we're going to do this, is this something that you want?
It's those of you that have done it when you've maybe had a few.
And then you're like, oh, let's go over here and get this done.
And then afterwards, what?
What did I get tattooed on me?
I mean, we were talking about Stevo earlier.
Here's the embodiment of crazy tattoos all over the place.
However, if Gen Z is now in this place where they're experiencing tattoo regret, there is a program for
you.
Hey Gen Z, we get it.
The no-ragrets misspelled on your chest.
Those face tats seem like a great idea at the time.
But now, not so much.
Welcome to Tattoo's Anonymous, or as we like to call it, Tatanon.
The support group for those little mistakes we made in our 20s.
Whether it was a wild night out or a trippy festival weekend, you'll go from what was I thinking to I'm not alone in this.
Tatanon.
Inc.
happens.
Visit datanon.org or call us at 1-800-NO-RAG-REDS.
The Rock 108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning
Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall.
Rock-108 Morning Show with Brian Marshall
part and later in the story.
She's a former hostess who was arrested outside of Manhattan criminal court where she had appeared for a hearing in a separate harassment case.
Why did officers arrest Ariel?
Why?
She threw poop at a downtown New York City nightclub, tainting the hotspot's Koi pond.
The ex-hospitality group employee was charged with burglary.
by entering an establishment that she knew she was banned from and damaging property inside the restaurant.
She was also charged with criminal mischief in connection with the poop toss around midnight on June the 2nd.
The upscale downtown establishment had sued her claiming that the poo had cost it more than $3,100 in damages.
What's really sad is that her name is Ariel.
And why?
Why, my friends, is this little mermaid trying to hurt the fish?
It doesn't make any sense to
me.
We're currently at the house spa.
We opened up in October actually of 2023.
Really when you walk into the space, it's like walking into a detoxing facility.
We always knew that we wanted to grow and we couldn't find the right location.
So when this spot appeared,
we both approached Olivia at DePaco Credit Union and she walked us through a lot of the paperwork and the process in order to get this project started.
The best thing about working with DePaco was that not only did they help us support
our funds for this building but they also showed us other available opportunities that could help us reduce our loan rate.
So they are partners with us and with the help of them we've been able to create this beautiful 6,000 square foot facility.
It's just an amazing feeling to finally open up our doors and just so happy to be able to provide this type of service to our community.
The Hell Spa is finally a reality and thanks to DuPaco we are here and our dreams are coming
true.
Interstate Love
Song with Rock108.
Morning, Russ.
What?
I said morning.
Morning.
What?
Morning.
What?
Is that how you respond to morning out east is just what?
We have our own ways of doing things.
I stopped at my last gig.
I used to say good morning.
And I got to a point where about 78% of the people would go, is it?
Is
it?
So I just go morning.
And they go, is it a good morning?
I didn't say good morning.
You didn't listen.
Yeah.
I always say good morning when I walk in the building.
I always say good night to people as I'm leaving the building.
You do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You make your rounds.
As soon as you come in that door right there, you go around in it.
Morning, morning, morning.
I call it taking
temperatures.
because I want to find out what I'm gonna have to deal with today.
So usually a good morning tells me who I'm gonna have problems with, who's gonna
be okay.
So as you're giving not only myself, but anybody that's out there going into a leadership role, taking temperatures is a good thing.
Taking
temperatures in the morning is very important.
I learned that from an old boss of mine.
Interesting.
He said, just walk around the building and say good morning to people and you'll kind of find out who you're gonna have problems with that day.
Okay, I like that
interesting.
Do you ever get a forecast of like what the temperature is going to be from a certain person?
I have to I have to then You know do the processing and make a forecast out of it, you know Well, this person is really worth my time anyway, so I don't care if they're in a bed.
Yeah, okay This went a little frigid today, so we're gonna stay
stay
over
here It's one of the bosses then you got to be a little careful
question.
Yeah, you know how
You have, uh, cold temperatures and hot temperatures when they mix together and they make a tornado sometimes.
Do you ever have that happen in, uh, workplace?
Not necessarily here.
Only
if I put them together purposely and sit back and watch.
I kind of figured that was going on.
That's always fun.
Alright, you ready for Top 5 Tuesday?
I am ready for Top 5
Tuesdays.
It's Top 5 Tuesday on The Rock 108 Morning Show.
Hey, Goomba!
Hey, bison, though, I want to talk about the five most Italian states in America where the most Italians live.
OK.
And I think you can work your way through this and figure out where the where my people live in this country and mass.
And I'll give you a hint.
I was not even on the list.
No, I didn't.
Not even on the list.
I'm going to start with New York State.
Uh, number four.
What?
Four.
New York is number four.
Okay.
Yeah, because of upstate.
There's not a lot of Italians in upstate.
Around the city, there's
a
lot of Italians.
How about Jersey?
Number three is New Jersey.
All right.
A lot of
Italians
in Jersey.
Yeah, yeah.
Chicago.
Chicago.
Illinois.
Not on the list.
What?
Not even in the top 10.
What?
Yeah.
Oh.
That surprised me.
I guess a lot
of... All right, let's see here.
Italian, Italian.
So you've got New Jersey, New York.
I mean, it's going to be East Coast.
So let's
go.
Let's go Philly.
Philly, Pennsylvania is number six.
Yeah.
The
top five.
How about
Maryland?
Not on the list.
I'm sucking at this.
Where the
hell am I from?
Well, we get Massachusetts number five on the list.
Massachusetts is loaded with guineas.
I can say it
you can't.
Oh, that's it's not right.
Is that question real quick?
What?
Is guinea pig okay to say?
Yeah.
Why is it?
Why is that different?
It's because
it's an animal.
Don't ask me.
I didn't make them.
Okay.
I
just I carry down the years of tradition.
Fair
enough.
I won't ask anymore.
So I need number two and number one.
Yeah.
Can't believe New York is for New Jersey three massive five
what town generally is considered making the best pizza in the world It's on the east coast.
I even had it brought in here one day
The best pizza in the world, yeah, it's not New York no, oh Why am I and they call it a pizza?
Do you sure isn't that just how you say it they call it no on the side it says a piz a pizza
Huh Connecticut yes, very
good.
What yeah
Um, really?
Yeah, I forget the name of the town now because I'm on the air and my brain goes limp.
That's fine.
Um, but, uh, there's a town in Connecticut that makes its brick iron brick oven fired pizza and it's on freaking believable
in the
whole world acknowledges Dave Portnoy being one that it's the best pizza he's ever had.
Uh, let's see here.
So Connecticut number two or number one?
Connecticut's number one.
Really?
Yep.
That is fascinating to me.
So you got
them all.
Connecticut is number
one.
No, I'm missing number two.
Oh, OK.
I'm missing number two.
That's why I stopped you.
It's got to be East Coast.
Right.
Miami, right?
No.
No, it's got to be East Coast.
You're missing up in that Northeast cluster.
You're missing one very small state.
Rhode Island.
Yeah, that's loaded with Italian.
Oh, God, yes, and mafia.
OK.
Yeah, the boys, the boys own that state.
What is it about Rhode Island?
Is it just because it was easier, cheaper to live?
I'll tell you why.
You're not going to like the answer, but this is the answer.
All right.
Because Rhode Island, roughly halfway point between New York and Boston.
and the mob could meet there.
You know, that was kind of like middle ground.
So a lot of the boys settled in Rhode Island because the heat would be off and they were halfway between the
two
big cities.
That makes all the sense in the world.
My friend owned a, his dad owned a car dealership not far from the Rhode Island border and they would meet in his parking lot a
lot.
And help me with this because, again, you mentioned Iowa, not a lot of Italians around.
Italian and Sicilian are not necessarily the same.
Well, family wise, they don't get along.
OK.
You know, it's like my grandmother was Sicilian and my other grandmother, all the rest of the family were Northern Italian.
OK.
No
boy, no.
I don't know how to say
it in Italian, but they did not get along.
Not at all.
Your family, did your family speak Italian?
All my grandparents did.
Really?
Okay.
Did they try to make sure that your parents and you guys?
They didn't, yeah.
Oh, okay.
We
knew enough words.
We know plenty of words, but to be able to string together a sentence, not so much.
I got you.
But
it's a whole different culture up at the Northeast.
It
is, and that's why I'm
fascinated by it.
We
all speak the same language, but totally different culture.
That's why I want to bring this up.
Uh, are Midwesterners really that polite?
No, of course not.
Uh, we're gonna do a little bit more of a deep dive into the culture of Midwest.
Nice.
Coming up here shortly.
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And right now, it comes with four free phones of your choice, with no trade-in needed.
That's something to sing about.
Let's try that again.
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Mr. Gander is in Taproot.
That's Palm on Rock 108.
Just up the road from Ned's old stop.
Mr.
Gander.
We were talking about fireworks off air and it reminded me that I post.
I can't believe this.
I've never seen
Rom Stein's live show.
Somebody posted.
What's his name?
The lead singer still in the men with a fireworks cannon that he holds.
And it shoots fireworks up into the rafters, hits another firework pole that ignites it and sends fireworks back to the stage, which hits another pole and sends a whole backdrop of
fireworks.
It was very impressive.
Have you seen the real
I believe it was on Instagram.
Somebody was flying out of the city that Romstein was playing at.
And you could see it from the plane from several thousand feet there.
It looked like it was just going up in flames.
I believe it.
I did see Romstein.
This would have been on the Singh, Singh sunk tour, which is the original album that hit in the States.
But they don't bring the power to the states.
Oh, they did.
They did.
They did.
Well, they did it at the US Bank Stadium, too.
They had.
Smaller pyro inside, but till lit, lit himself on fire during the title song.
Had a boy.
Just right on fire.
Yeah, why not?
Um, during do host, there's a part in the song where it kind of sounds like he's talking into a phone.
Yeah.
So he's doing that.
And then he takes the phone and goes, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, throws it up in the air goes, boom.
It was awesome.
So he had a lit firework.
It was the phone.
The phone.
He throws it over the crowd and explodes.
Right.
What the hell was that?
But he had to time that throw so it didn't blow up in his face.
I have to imagine Till is certified as some sort of pyrotechnician.
Maybe, yeah.
Because he's, it's just amazing.
Do you understand what he's saying?
Only if you took German one, two, and three.
You know, he can sing in English.
He just chooses not to.
And I don't think he should have to.
No, I don't either.
I think it's
great.
Midwesterners, really that polite.
I don't know.
You tell me.
Well, I'm asking you because you're the one that came in to the Midwest.
To me, it's just my people.
I think that all people are the same.
And the way they present is different.
So I think Midwesterners are every bit as judgy as an East Coaster.
An East Coaster will let you know exactly where you stand within six seconds of meeting them.
Six?
We're we're a midwesterner will still judge you quietly but Be not be nice to your face and as soon as you walk away, they're like oh that bastard.
Yeah, I'm about
it's not judging.
It's observing observing Let
me hit you up.
I mean
that's definitely one of them in what way he's a Midwest nice guy.
Yeah to the point where he hates
You're very definitely Midwest nice But you will judge I've seen you judge I've been around you when you but you won't you won't say it out loud I mean you'll imply No, you won't you'll go all the way.
I take that back Put you in the right put you in the right frame of mind and you're you're off like like
You're off like veto of some of old Massachusetts talking about the bastard.
Why do they do that?
And how
come I can't?
Only certain times.
Certain times.
But you definitely have it in you.
I do.
But when you're in business mode, you definitely
restrain.
Sure.
That's how we do it.
Now, I don't know if you knew this.
My grandma was from Boston.
I do know that.
I have a little bit of East Coast in me.
Did she have the?
She had with what?
The attitude.
Yeah, she had it.
But she was, she also knew because she was, um, she was raised in a proper Catholic home.
Oh yeah.
And so she also had the prim and proper, but then at times would go East Coast.
Yeah.
My mother started every sentence.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
Let
me hit you with a couple of these.
Apologize when you've done nothing wrong in the Midwest West.
That is so Midwest.
Yeah.
74% of Midwesterners say they do it regularly.
Do you guys do it out eating the East Coast?
No, not so much.
All right.
Wave to people you don't know.
No.
Absolutely.
Small town back road or on a gravel road, you're passing them.
Your wave.
Hand goes up.
Farmers wave.
Uh, hold doors for strangers.
What is it?
Hold doors for strangers.
Always.
Yes.
Guys or gals, doesn't matter.
Open the door.
It's a little bit of respect.
Do you smile at strangers?
While you're taking the temperature?
I think that's a little, yeah, I do.
You know, but it's more like if you make incidental eye contact, you didn't mean to make.
Yeah.
You flash a little smile.
Uh, do you do the Midwest awkward smile?
The one where you kind of make your mouth go up just a little bit.
Yeah, okay.
All right Help a neighbor out with a chore No, but I love that about the Midwest absolutely not for me really no absolutely not only during the ratio.
It's funny that That's a huge difference between East Coast and West Coast East Coast will fall over backwards trying to help you after they've just cussed you out
I mean, follow, you know, if they know you're taking a flight, you will get 15 offers for a ride to the airport.
That never happens on the no in around here.
No.
Whatever it is, people are always vocally willing to help.
And a certain percent of them, percentage of them hope you say no.
But they're making the offer.
How often did you hear or have you heard somebody ask going to borrow your truck?
I need to move some stuff.
You heard that one?
No.
That's around
here.
Yeah, I bet.
Because everybody has trucks.
So
why do people need to ask?
Everybody has a truck.
Dallas and Trager on the text line.
Russ finally said it.
Iowa Nice is a myth.
It
kind of is.
It kind of is.
Can be.
Minnesota Nice is 100% there.
I
think it's more the people's self-talk.
The self-talk is nice.
But I see what's going on behind your eyes.
with my eye.
I don't judge your eye.
I can see you bastards thinking.
Yeah.
I mean, as
you know, I've had a little trouble around the building because I tend to say things and that's not the general course of the building.
You keep it to yourself and then you explode later.
Right.
Right.
Or behind the backs.
I don't, you know,
Ugh, I hate behind the back stuff.
You know, I tend to say it to people's face in a fun way.
I will say really difficult things, but I'm smiling when I say it.
So how could you possibly take offense?
They take offense.
Depends on how many cuss words you use.
Breaking Benjamin weigh in on this one.
P1 nation 319 234 5369 Dallas from traitors already done.
How about you?
Look forward to hearing from you.
If you're dropping us a text message, make sure you include your name in the town that you're checking in from.
We're currently at the house spa.
We opened up in October, actually, of 2023.
Really, when you walk into the space, it's like walking into a detoxing facility.
We always knew that we wanted to grow, and we couldn't find the right location.
So when this spot appeared,
we both approached Olivia at the Paco Credit Union, and she walked us through a lot of the paperwork and the process in order to give us projects.
The
best thing about working with DePacko was that not only did they help us supply our funds for this building, but they also showed us other available opportunities that could help us reduce our loan rate.
So they are partners with us and with the help of them we've been able to create this beautiful 6,000 square foot facility.
It's just an amazing feeling to finally open up our doors and just so happy to be able to provide this type of service to our community.
The house spa is finally a reality and thanks to DePacko we are
here and our dreams are coming
true.