Welcome everybody to Midday magazine for this Tuesday, March 25th, 2025.
Have your host James Jamail off here and in part to you today, we're going to talk
to our Wisconsin Rapids Family Center.
We've got Jess with us right now.
It's been a while.
How are you doing, Jess?
I'm good.
Thank you for having me on.
Yeah, it's always great to talk with you and have you in studio to be able to talk with
you and any chance we get to highlight our Wisconsin Rapids Family Center.
We love being able to do that and it's never a bad time to be able to do that.
But this is really in particular a good time for to have you win, Jess.
As April coming up is a sexual assault prevention month and this is one of the more important
ones on the calendar for us at the Family Center that we focus on and talk about.
I was like to mention before these interviews, I am a Wisconsin Rapids Family Center board
member and take that with a strong note of everything I'm saying is not only important
and impactful, but I am a community member of the cares.
And I say that because I know there's many of you out there and we're always looking
for volunteers for future board members a part of the Family Center.
Yes, we have one of the more vital important things we're doing in this area.
We also have a lot of fun over there and it's a really, really amazing group of people
over there to be a part of.
There are a few things in life that feel so good to put into like the Family Center.
I speak to this and I encourage others to reach out to the Family Center.
If you'd like to be a board member or volunteer for any of the events coming up.
Just when it comes to the Sexual Assault Prevention Month and talking about this, you at the
Family Center, the team at the Family Center, how do you guys approach this month?
How do you, what kind of things do you try to highlight this particular month?
Yeah, so with this month it's really about the awareness that sexual assault and sexual
violence is definitely happening in our community as much as I wish it wasn't, right?
But we really try and highlight that this is not just an individual issue.
This isn't just something that happens to victims or survivors.
It's not an individual thing.
This is a community problem and something that we should all be aware of and all be kind
of working towards ending.
One of the things that I appreciate that you guys are able to do with this too is you
have themes and different things that highlight.
So is there a theme for this month?
Yeah, so from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, the theme for this year is
together, we act, united, we change.
And really what this is about is again looking at sexual violence as a community issue and
not an individual issue.
And how can we as a society come together and prevent and intervene when these things
are happening, right?
And I don't know if you've ever heard the word rape culture before.
Okay.
And for those of the listeners who haven't heard that before, this is kind of this idea
that sexual assault, sexual violence is part of our culture, right?
As much as I don't like to say that, it is part of our culture, like whether it be in
movies or jokes or the media that we're consuming.
And we really want to switch our community to a culture of consent, a culture of that we're
aware that these things happen and we prevent them, we act, right?
Yeah.
And just one of the things that, so I understand that maybe not every household was like this.
But in mine, I learned about women's rights before my own, having a, and it's the second
interview and back to back, I mentioned my mother here.
So I'm hopefully earning some points with her.
But my, my mother raised us, she is a former hippie feminist and she was, it was very important
to us to learn these things.
It was actually my dad that was probably maybe even a better example in some ways.
At least for me and my brother, because my father was very adamant about how we treat
people when they're not in the room and how we talk about people when they're not around.
And this was something that when I was in sports, you're in the locker room and you're
guys making jokes, that it was very, even though, you know, if I was alone on an island
on it, I didn't laugh and I called guys out on it from a young age.
My brother did a very similar thing and I know that we're not the only ones that did
that.
Talk about this stuff.
I'm just using this as one example, but as an example of how we treat these topics and
how we treat them when people aren't around.
It's one thing when somebody's in the room and standing in front of you of how you act
and treat that person.
I'm talking about when nobody's looking and how you're acting.
Because you may think nobody's paying attention or it's not that heavy of a topic, but everybody
around you has a brain and they're sucking up this information and how do you treat people.
And this stuff also has a subconscious effect on things.
We have the science to prove this.
The better we are about this stuff, the better our society is going forward.
And so much of what we're trying to do is teach and help the younger generations learn
how to bluntly say this act right and how to treat people right and bringing these
sats down somewhat and everything.
When we're able to do this, the power that this has, the strength that this has to
it, you've mentioned this right away and I appreciate that you did about the focus on
community and not individual so much of this.
If we were talking about PFAS, nobody would think twice about, well, yeah, of course, when
we're talking about water, water affects every community or every city, every neighbor,
every address.
So yeah, it's going to take the whole community to figure this one out and everything.
That makes sense.
This is no different than that.
This is just as vital as water is and it affects just as much and spreads just as far.
We talked about this quite a bit when it comes to domestic violence and the effect it has
on economies.
You know, if I can't reach your heart, maybe I can reach your wallet, your purse, your
taxes, the amount of money we have, we spend on these things, even with all the cuts that
take place and there have been some drastic, incredible cuts to our domestic violence shelters
around the country.
And when it comes to that part of it, when it comes to our younger generations and
kids, let's take just one child, for example, and a child that is growing up in a family
like that, that is struggling with this.
How much do you think that child is able to focus on their school work, on their after-school
activities, on different things?
The more we're able to give that child an opportunity to grow, to learn as an individual,
the better the chances that they are as a taxpayer when they get older and that they are
able to contribute to their communities and et cetera, et cetera.
This has a domino effect, it has an all-connected effect, and it's going to take all hands-on-deck
to make it work, to get it better.
Absolutely.
And, you know, I've been doing this for seven years, so I see those kind of nuanced aspects
of how it can affect the economy and things like that.
But it's so interesting when you really dive into this topic of how sexual violence is
related to the environment, it's related to racism, to the economy, like you said, so
many things.
And that's what we really encourage people to look into.
Like we want you to know the very bare basics of like, when this is happening to somebody,
we want you to know how to act.
But we also want people to understand the bigger picture, right, like what you were talking
about of how this really does affect the community and your family, even if you don't have
a personal, you know, connection to it.
But I do want to touch on what you said earlier, you know, and we've talked about this so
many times, where even if you don't know somebody who's a survivor, sexual violence doesn't
happen in a vacuum, you all know somebody, even if you haven't been told directly that
this happened to somebody you love.
And we really need to be aware of how we're reacting and how we are treating other people
when we see what's happening on the media, or I don't know about you, but I've been
inundated with political ads lately, related to sexual violence.
And I'm, you know, kind of over it right now, I bet everybody is.
I second that.
Yes, because they are all focused on, on sexual violence, which I want people to talk about
that.
But I also want them to, to talk about it and to see it outside of an election, you know,
not to be a Debbie Downer and say it's part of everyday life, but, you know, to really
recognize those things.
You know, and if that is a Downer to anybody, well, guess what?
We can, we can make it not a Downer by affecting these stats and making this better.
You know, if you don't like it, fix it.
You know, there's a way to make this better.
There's a way, there's ways that we, here's one of the, I think, strong positives about
this topic when we talk about it.
This is something we can do something about.
There are some problems out in life that seem bigger than we can imagine and wrap our
minds around.
There are things that go on in our day-to-day lives that feel out of control to us and
we can't do a lot about.
Here's one that every single person out there listening, we can impact this.
We can be a part of this.
Totally.
Now, there are areas, as I mentioned earlier, volunteering or being a part of a board.
Our Wisconsin family, our family center, like all domestic violence central shelters
around the country have been, had their budget slashed.
So any dollars and cents you can add to the family centers greatly appreciated.
We can input in the words how much we appreciate that.
But this is something that you can be a part of just on your character and the way you treat
people.
Just by doing that, you are a supporter.
You're an ally by just the way you handle yourself and the people in your life day-to-day.
That's a great place to start and if that's as far as you go with this, that's all right.
We want more.
Again, all hands on deck.
We want as many people to be a part of this as we can.
But even just that is showing that you want to stand on the right side of history with
this.
Because make no mistake about it, anybody.
I understand that we live in America.
We love our fads.
We love our pop culture and some of these things.
This is not a fad.
There is no putting the genie back in the bottle with this one.
We're not being quiet anymore.
We're not going back to those days.
We're only going forward with this topic.
We want you to be on the right side of history with this.
The right side is just treating people right, just treating people good and treating people
the way you would want to be treated and the impact you can make by doing that.
Absolutely.
Thank you for mentioning that, too, because we obviously appreciate your time volunteering
at the Family Center and all of those things.
Just on that individual level, if you can learn about how to react when you see harassment
happening or jokes being made that are sexual in nature, or if somebody tells you this
is happening to them, which I hope that never happens to you, but it could.
We do trainings.
We have resources on our website.
We can point you to the right direction so that you really feel equipped and prepared
to be able to act if you ever become aware that some things happening.
While it's not comfortable for me to talk about, I mentioned it because I know from you
guys out there.
Let me know that you appreciate it.
As an example of this, when I was talking about in high school and having some of those
things happen and stepping up, one of the few people that had my back was a guy who ended
up being one of my better friends and agreed with me in this locker room situation.
I would say maybe a year, maybe two years later, or whatever, him and I are having a very
late night that I won't go too far into, but we're having some fun.
We're talking and then all of a sudden something happens and he sees that I lock up and the
whole, I'm completely sober, the whole thing changed, the whole night changed.
And he noticed this and he wouldn't, he didn't pry it out of me, but he kind of knew that
I needed to say something, even though I didn't know I needed to say something.
And I told him and he was probably the only, the, the first non, maybe the second non-family
member in the first time at that age that I had been honest with somebody about the
abuse I had experienced.
And him being there and just, all day was listen, you didn't say anything, I, I think
he made a put his hand on my shoulder at one point, but I don't even know if, remember
if he did that, to be honest with you, it was a long time ago, but I remember specifically,
he was just paying attention, he made eye contact with me and he was listening.
And that would lead me to get to this place right here where I am now talking about it and
being able to hopefully help others out there or do whatever good I can with this experience
that I went through.
That's what it is to be an ally.
That's what you just don't know that even in the moment what's going on may lead to years
later that person, somebody feeling comfortable talking to you and seeking help because they
see you as somebody who is an ally, you just never know where these things can lead.
Just by being a good person, just by maybe not laughing at a joke or calling out somebody
on a joke or, or just, you know, how you act and how you approach, treat people so much
of this.
And we really, really do appreciate you sharing your personal experiences.
Just to let the community know that it is okay to talk about these things and there's
no shame in that.
So we do appreciate that and definitely even if you don't know all of the right words
to say to somebody, just believing them and not putting them deeper into that shame shadow
is so important.
You can literally, you know, make or break somebody's healing journey just by listening and
believing them.
And just that's a really good way you put that to, nobody really has, there are people
who train, who work at this and everything and even they don't have a perfect set of
how to respond to this stuff, don't worry so much about that.
I know that it is a concern.
I even have that concern sometimes when people are sharing with me.
Just listening, just listening, go so far in this particular topic.
Also attention and awareness and prevention, which is a big part of what we're talking
about here today and one of the ways of doing this is certainly bringing attention to
things and I think a fun and informative way of doing that.
You guys are doing with our friends over at McMillan Library.
We've got a movie coming up, Movie Night with Wisconsin's Ravits Family Center coming
up.
Can you tell us a little details of this and what the movie is?
Yeah, so in partnership with the library, we so appreciate them being able to host us.
On April 2nd at 4pm, that's a Wednesday in the all-purpose room at the library.
Movie will be showing a movie called Promising Young Woman.
It's actually a really entertaining movie, even if you just come for the movie.
It has some bigger stars in it, like Jennifer Coolidge, Carrie Mulligan.
It's actually a really good movie.
It is centered around the topic of sexual violence, so just to put a little trigger warning
out there for people.
You are welcome to just come and enjoy the movie, but we also will be having a brief discussion
following that, which you're welcome to stay for, you're welcome to leave, whatever
feels right to you.
But that discussion will really kind of center around sexual assault awareness month and
in relation to the movie, how can we be better allies?
How can we support survivors a little bit better in our community?
What the basis of this movie is, it's about a woman who experienced a sexual assault.
And at many different levels, she was failed, right?
So we're really going to dive into that of how could her story have been different if
these different players in her journey would have just maybe said something different or
not made a joke, like you talked about.
So yeah, if you're interested, and just even, like I said, even if you just want to see
a really good movie, please come down.
Yeah.
If I can just be the actor I am for a half a second.
It's a very good movie.
Carrie Mulligan is a great actor and this may be the performance of her career.
It's incredible work that she does.
Bo Dernam does a nice job at it.
Alison Brie is one of my favorite kind of character actors and she's very good in the two.
The writing is great.
The directing has done a very good job and you don't have to take my word for it.
90% on Rotten Tomatoes.
You don't see that very often.
So I mean, that's pretty darn good right there.
And the thing that I love about movies like this is the opportunity.
It opens up the icebreaker, if you will, to conversations like this that you guys are
going to have afterwards.
It's one of the greatest things that movies can do along with being, as you said, very entertaining
movie and a good movie, even if you just want to take in a good movie.
But to the point of being able to talk about this, I feel like it really does a great job
of being an icebreaker and in kind of so often in life, once you say it out loud and
say it, put it into the ether, it feels a little bit more comfortable to talk about.
And that's such a big part of the movement on this where we're talking about me too or
we're talking about some of the other things that have happened in less 10, 20 years.
It's about getting these subjects out there into the ether so that we're not as hush, hush
about it anymore because that's where so much of the problems have lied for many, many
years is the idea that we can't talk about certain things in public or anything.
Those days are gone.
Again, the genie's not going back in the bottle.
This is only a topic that is going to grow and get stronger and more support to it.
Events like this help us do that.
I want to say a big thank you to McMillan for hosting this.
They do such great work with our family center and doing events like this with other non-profit
so appreciate that and appreciate you guys having the idea for things like this.
This is how we get more and more people involved with the family center is doing events like
this and giving people more of an avenue to kind of meeting people halfway almost.
I don't like adding anything to the family center's plate.
You guys have so much to do over there and so much already there, but I appreciate and
admire the willingness to do that to meet people halfway and be like, hey, we're going
to be over here talking about this at McMillan.
Once you come on by, just come on by, check in a movie, maybe we'll talk.
Yeah, and I appreciate you saying that too because even our work at the family center,
we do a lot of domestic violence work as well and people are a lot more apt to come to
those kind of events when they hear domestic violence.
But there's something about that word, sexual assault, where people just kind of freak out
a little bit and I don't want that word to ever not feel something because that's a big
word.
But at the same time, I don't want people to feel like that's not a space for them or
that it's going to be this uncomfortable thing to talk about.
It's okay to talk about this and I do hope that showing a movie kind of bridges that
gap a little bit and I was going to say this to you that part of the reason why we chose
this movie is we really recognize that everybody's sexual assault story is different.
There's a lot of, you know, everybody has a different experience, but this movie really
shows a common experience, unfortunately, it does involve, you know, alcohol facilitated
sexual assault, which is very common in Wisconsin culture with our drinking and all of those
things.
So like you were talking about where it really facilitates a discussion, I think this
movie especially will relate to a lot of people and it's just kind of so cliche for lack
of a better word that it really does create that discussion.
And I think with that, the movie is able to reach more and more people because of that.
I think the writers did a nice job with that one.
I did want to mention as well, anyone under 16 can attend, they will need a sign permission
slip to be able to do so and they can get that right at the front desk at the info desk
at the McMillan if they would like to because again, so much of what we're doing here is
prevention, awareness.
So younger people, if you're coming with a parent or something like that, that's a great
thing.
That seems like a really positive thing about this.
The more we can reach the younger generations and hopefully give more information and awareness
to this topic, the better we'll be going forward with for those generations.
And just appreciate the time so much.
Jess, if people have follow up questions, they'd like to know more about some what we talked
about today.
Send them to the website or can they reach you directly here?
Yeah, so you can check out our website, familyctr.org.
You can also email us at info at familyctr.org or of course just call our 24 hour crisis
line.
You can call that if you're in crisis or if you just need some information.
That number is 715-421-1511.
And encourage you to bookmark their web page again, familyctr.org.
Be sure to follow them on social media.
When you see their posts, share them on your page as well.
You just never know who might see them otherwise.
And again, make plans for moving night with the Wisconsin Rapids Family Center over at
Minimal Library, April 2nd, 4 o'clock in their all-purpose room.
Jess, don't be a stranger.
We gotta see you again real soon.
And please say hi to everybody over their force.
Well, thanks for having me.
And thank you to everybody for listening.
We appreciate your time.
We'll be back with more Midday Magazine coming up right here at 97-5 FM, 13-20-A-WFHR.
We are locally grown radio.