Welcome, everybody, to Midday Magazine for this Monday, December 16th, 2024.
Have your host, James Jamel, off here, and welcoming into the studio.
Our good friend, Amy Vetter, CSW Resource Specialist with our Aiding and Disability Resource
Center of Central Wisconsin.
Amy, good to have you with us.
Hi, James.
Good to be here.
We have a great topic for us today.
Want to dive right into this one, especially with how busy everything is over there.
But do want to send a big shout out to you and the team at the ADRC and the great work
that you guys are doing.
Appreciate you.
Thank you very much.
What do we do when loved ones start showing signs of needing help at home?
This is a topic that, this time of year, I actually think it's as tough and awkward as this
might be to dive into.
What better time of year than right now to be able to bring these things in?
What with the wrapping up of the new of the year and looking for a new one and even being
able to be around relatives, maybe you're not around all the time, and when I say bringing
this up, it may not even be bringing it up with the individuals that you need to talk
to about it.
But maybe just getting some, hey, when you talk to your loved ones about this, how did
you do it?
Getting some ideas, spitballing, that kind of thing.
So the topic itself, I feel like, is Taylor made for this time of year in many ways?
So in this is typically when we get a lot of referrals from family members that are visiting
with loved ones, they haven't seen in quite a while, and oftentimes relatives are seeing
each other for the first time, and then they're having that conversation about those aging
loved ones that they haven't had.
And so I thought it would be a good idea to kind of talk about some things to help open
that conversation up.
So if we want to just get right into it, yeah, sure.
So when we have our loved ones living at home in the community, it's important that they
be able to maintain that independence, because that is really important for them.
So sometimes our first thought is assisted living right away.
They can't live alone anymore, they're too old, and that's really not the case.
And assisted living facilities are wonderful, but they're very expensive, and there are
some things that you can do to make it safe for them at home.
So let's get into that, Amy, because I think that that's certainly the first option for
the majority of people.
And I think that for a lot of us too, as we're getting older, and we think about these
things more, maybe for the first time, it's one of the first thoughts you have is, oh,
well, I want my independence as long as possible.
And I think when you walk into this subject, whether it's for yourself or for your loved
ones, with that respect, not to say you can't go wrong, but it's a great start.
It's a great place to begin of, hey, I want dignity in this world.
I imagine my loved ones, I imagine my parents, my uncles or whoever it might be, they would
want the same thing.
Having that empathy to begin with going into this is such a great way to start.
Exactly.
And you want to keep in mind what they want for themselves too.
You are considering what you think is best, but it may not be what they want for themselves.
So one thing that I think is important to do is just when you think about their home and
how it's set up.
So a lot of times there may be some knick-knacks and stuff that has accumulated over the years
that can actually become more of a hazard to their safety.
Like throw rugs, they can be a huge fall risk.
Just removing those would help make things a lot safer with mobility.
Maybe considering adding some grab bars into the shower.
And speaking of grab bars, I know some people see those suction cup grab bars for the shower.
And they think, oh, this would be just an easy quick fix, but they're not the safest
option.
You know, they may work temporarily, but those suction cups are not a guarantee.
So if you can get the kind that screw into the wall, that's going to be the safest.
And you know, a towel bar, that's meant to hold a towel, not the weight of a person.
So that's something to keep in mind.
There are different types of adaptive equipment like a shower chair or a tub bench that can
sit outside of the bathtub.
That someone can slide across, you know, maybe rearranging some furniture so that it allows
for safer pathways in the home.
You know, moving foods in the kitchen down to lower shelves, just rearranging some things
so that it's more accessible.
So there's less bending and reaching.
You know, a lot of times there's a washer and dryer in the basement.
And you know, that can be a difficult thing because where do we move it to, but moving
it to the main level of the home, that can be a huge safety, you know, risk if it's
still in the basement.
So relocating that to the main level.
These are all incredibly good notes, things that I know for me, being around this subject
a lot in the last 10 years or so, I, things I hadn't really even considered.
And I thought was quite interesting.
I am a little curious, Amy, do you have a list for Italians?
Do you have, because my family is Italian, and they're...
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
But with that, and I say that, jokingly, because all families really have family members
that want to hang on to their independence and want to hang on to having their place.
And I bring up the Italian thing in part because one of the first thoughts I had was, well,
I remember some of my earliest memories of being in the kitchen with my Nana, and the
reason I was in there is because I was tall.
And I could grab things on high shelves.
It was part of my job, and I loved this job.
But I think back, and I'm like, man, I bet my Nana would have loved to have had these
things a little lower.
And while she, you know, loved having me in the kitchen and everything, wasn't a big
kitchen, probably could have used the room.
And it got my brain just on this rabbit hole of all these different things to my Nana and
Papa, you know, they did to kind of like keep their independence as long as they could.
They had a...
The whole reason we're here in this town in this area is because my grandparents were
tired in Rome.
And they had a beautiful house.
Yeah, good question, good question.
Right here, Rome was content and right now they came a lot.
And a beautiful house that they loved, and they played on spending the rest of their lives.
But as they got older and they realized, well, we got two floors.
That's not going to work for us.
So they ended up selling their dream home essentially to have a one floor home just to
have independence for another eight, ten years, I think it was or whatever.
Going to these extremes, just to hang onto that independence a little bit longer.
And I see that for a lot of people.
Here's some things you can do to kind of like as you're going along, and even as you're...
You don't have to wait until you're 65.
Right.
And there are things you can do that maybe you're still independent.
You're still able to do things but making small changes now before it's necessary.
So you know, and you bring up your family, well, I have come from a German family.
And it makes me think of my grandmother.
She's back in the Chicago area still, and she's very independent, but she has some things
in her basement still that we really want to move upstairs, but it's a challenge figuring
out where to go with it.
She's got her washer and dryer downstairs, and so determining where to put that.
And in some situations, there's really nowhere you can go with it.
And if that's the case, there are in-home caregiver agencies.
You know, there is a cost to those, but you can pay to have someone come in and help
with things like laundry, just housekeeping and chores, running errands for you, things
like that.
With the cost that assisted living facilities can cost and everything, this could be the
more affordable option for men.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
It's a great note too about looking into those services, looking into grocery and meal
delivery services as well.
I believe you guys know a little something about that too.
Yes.
I mean, we do have our meals on Wheels program, of course.
So we can deliver meals during the week to individuals who are eligible.
And you know, there are more delivery services available now than have been in the past.
You know, a lot of grocery stores in the area will deliver groceries directly to your
door.
And so that has been a really beneficial service for a lot of the customers that we have
worked with.
And you know, when it comes to, you know, socialization, that's a big thing too when it comes
to our aging population in the community.
Yeah.
So we also have not just the home delivered meals, but we do have a congregate meals during
the week at the senior center, which there are transportation programs that can get you
to the senior center.
So you can enjoy that camaraderie with other individuals, get your lunch and meal and
get some socialization in, get out of the house for a little bit, and then get home safely
too.
Yeah.
And there are a lot more resources, I think, available than most know in part because
of what you were saying there.
Like I help my parents now, but before that helping with my papa a little bit, and that
was probably 70 years ago, maybe, and some of these things weren't available then.
So just in the short amount of time that this has grown and there are so many more options
available, some of them weren't necessarily designed for this, but they're usable for
this.
You know, there's no, there's no age limit on door dash or something, you know, some
of these services.
And so many other organizations have really stepped up when it comes to this subject.
So it's something to keep in mind, especially the people that may be new to the topic.
And when it comes to like grocery delivery and meal delivery services, you can set those
up from anywhere in the country.
So you know, if you live out of state, but you're concerned about your elderly parents that
live here getting groceries or getting meals, you can have things delivered directly to them
no matter where you're living.
So that's always a bonus.
We're speaking with Amy Vetter from the aging and disability resource center of central
Wisconsin.
Another thing that can help people stay in their home a little bit longer, have that
independence a little bit longer is in home caregiving agencies.
We have a number of those as well.
We do.
And I can't really name names here, but we do have, we do have a list on our website, which
James will give at the end of this segment.
And then we also have our resource directory, which will be updated soon for 2025.
You can access that directory on our website as well, and we do have paper copies throughout
the community.
But again, we still have 2024 available, 2025 will be out soon.
And which that directory also has a wealth of information for you, which is wonderful to
utilize when you're having these conversations with your family members.
There's other things to consider to keep in mind when you're thinking about services
that would be beneficial to your aging loved ones that are still living in home in the
community.
You know, another thing I would like to mention is a lifeline or that medical alert button.
I think we're all familiar with that commercial.
I've fallen and I can't get up.
Yes, yes.
Well, they've come a long way since then.
So you can wear it as a necklace, it can be a bracelet, but if you have concerns about
the safety of your loved ones in the home, if they have been having falls, if they're
a fall risk, you know, that button can be easily pressed and it can alert emergency services.
You can set it up where it can alert you first so you can make sure that it's appropriate
to contact emergency services.
And some do have GPS available if there is a concern with dementia and wandering as
well.
And there are actually some cell phones now have automatic sensors that if there is a
fall, your phone can actually automatically contact 911 and emergency services and certain
watches too.
Yes.
There's a lot of technology out there.
And all these things, and I feel like also while we're having this conversation and their
ADRC is up to date and all these things, you guys have done such great homework on this,
by the time, by the end of the week, there might even be more services.
Right.
We're seeing a lot of businesses, a lot of things going into this industry and trying to make
it that much stronger and better.
That not only speaks to me on a personal level, on an empathetic level, but also on a level
of, hey, this is something that, again, you don't have to wait until you're in your 60s
to start going towards.
One thing I really wanted to make sure to mention, and you touched on this too, there's
some great classes available with the ADRC and just taking a look at preventing falls.
Something like that.
You don't have to wait until you're worried about the falls to take a class like that.
And the earlier you prep on these things, maybe the longer your body can, you know, hang
with you and you can be independent a little bit longer if you get in on these early.
Yep.
So, and you keep mentioning 60s, 60s are the new 40s.
Really are.
Yeah.
So, but we do offer like stepping on classes, they're called.
And so that is over a course of several weeks where you can learn different tips and tricks
and how to prevent falls and different measures you can take to be safer in the home.
We also, you know, if you are a caregiver and, you know, you are caring for your loved
one in the home, that they can give you some tools on how to, you know, make sure you're
taking care of yourself to prevent that caregiver burnout.
We have support groups as well.
We have groups for families that are struggling with family members that have dementia.
We have a lot of different programs and groups within the ADRC.
But then here in Rapids, we also have the senior center that has a lot of different activities
and socialization options because loneliness can also be a very big issue when it comes
to seniors that are living in the community that are still pretty active.
But just really feel more isolated.
And that can happen when family moves away and, you know, they stay connected, you know,
electronics, but, you know, they don't have that day to day.
So things that happen at the Lowell Center or the senior center, as a lot of people know
it, there's Bingo, there's different exercise classes.
You always know when it's Bingo because the parking lot is packed.
It always, always.
Yeah.
There are so many wonderful classes, events, and different things going on there.
And certainly the conversation itself is something too that can be not only interesting to get
into, but interesting for all parties and everything in it.
I think that's an important thing to keep in mind when you're walking into this subject.
When we talk about these events and the different classes and different things going on, these
could be that segue into this.
Hey, we should go show up for this.
Let's have fun at Bingo and everything.
And while you're driving over there, you talk about it.
The moments to bring these up, we're always, so many times, I remember my dad talking about
this with my grandparents, I was just waiting for the right moment in that moment doesn't
come.
Sometimes you have to create that moment.
And the ADRC can help you do that, whether it is, you know, hey, how do I get into this
topic?
Or the events they have going on and them being kind of a segue into these.
Just having this open conversation with a loved one goes so far.
One other thing I real quick want to mention too is when you get into the conversation,
it doesn't mean you have to solve everything and write in that one conversation.
This could be an ongoing thing that you just get the ball rolling with.
And it's important to remember that this is a conversation that you have with them.
It's not, you have to make sure that you're making decisions with your family, with those
individuals.
And while you may think that this is what's best for your mom or dad or your grandpa or
your aunt or your uncle, it may not be what they want.
And so sometimes we have to accept the fact that what they decide they want to do with
their lives may not be what is best for them.
In our opinion, it's what they want.
When it comes to some of these things that we've talked about today, I've got a bit
of experience with some of them.
And one of the things that I've learned, not just from my own experience, but talking
to my friends that have been in similar things with their parents or loved ones, just
like in as an example, one of the bigger ones in my family was I'm trying to help my
parents and care for them was putting up in the bathroom the bars and having those
set up.
And that's for a lot of people, as you touched on, can be a bit of a, this is a sign.
This is this, okay, I can't hide my age anymore or any of these things and stuff.
And especially with somebody like my father, which I love and I would not trade him for
anything in the world, but my God sometimes.
And with this one in particular, it was one of those ones where we're banging our head
against each other.
The wall here about this and everything.
What we finally got to with him about it was his grandkids and him wanting to be in
good shape for them and everything.
And the idea of this helping that, my papa, served in World War II, fought in the Korean
War.
I look at him and I'm like, do you want a shower to take you out, like in right away that
clicked for him.
And he was like, well, yeah, I don't, I don't, and stuff.
And I don't mean to be blunt or unromantic with any of this.
But when we're talking about getting, you have to be, you have to be sometimes.
And all of these conversations are meant to be heartfelt.
I think if you, again, if you go into them with that in mind and such a strong point that
you bring up about what they want and listening to them, you almost can't go wrong if you go
in with those factors.
Right.
And this is a conversation that we at the ADRC can, we'd be happy to sit down and have
a meeting either at our office.
We can come to your home and just have a general talk about what's called options counseling.
So we can just sit down and have an open conversation about different resources, services,
programs that may be available, doesn't have to be right now, but in preparation for
the future.
And just make some suggestions, recommendations, and we can help get that conversation started.
And that's such a tough part for some.
And I take it a little for granted sometimes how open my family and I are about talking.
Understand that some out there wouldn't even know where to begin to get eat and just get
the ball rolling on this subject.
You guys are tailor made for this.
You know what you're talking about?
This is your wheelhouse reaching out to the ADRC with those kind of questions are really
helpful and we encourage you to do so.
And there's so many other great things going on over there.
When you're listening to this and maybe this subject and the things we've talked about
don't affect you, but they they can impact you and that you can impact them.
One of the main things that I want to recommend anytime we are with the ADRC's meals on wheels
and being involved and volunteering with the ADRC.
And there's a lot of different ways you can do that and you can find out more at ADRC-CW.org
ADRC-CW.org.
That is their website.
You should have bookmarked that.
Keep up the date and everything they are doing over there.
There's also the social media page encouraging to follow along on those as well.
Amy, if people have follow up questions, one of them more about some of what we talked
about today and reach you specifically.
Can they do that or should we just give them the website?
They can call the 800 number that's available on our website as well and just listen to
the menu.
You can be connected with a resource specialist like myself.
There's also benefit specialists and we have a nutrition line as well that you can ask
question specific to our meals on meals program and our congregate meals and our caregiver
programs too.
But when in doubt, just talk to a support staff and they will connect you with who you need
to speak to.
That number is 1-888-486-9545.
That's 888-486-9545.
And if you missed that number, you can catch it at their website, ADRC-CW.org and be sure
to follow them on social media.
Amy, always have a great time talking with you.
Thank you so much for the time.
A happy holidays to you and yours.
Happy New Year's.
All the above.
You too.
Have a great holiday season.
Thanks for joining us.
And thank you for joining us.
Everybody, we'll have more Midday Magazine coming up for you at 97-5 FM 13-20 AM WFHR.
We are locally grown radio.