Welcome, everyone, to Midday Magazine for this November 28th, 2023.
Have your host, James J. Mailoff here.
We're welcoming into our studio right now, one of our favorite people,
Amy Shide, administrative development and volunteer coordinator with our
Wisconsin Rapids Family Center.
Amy, always good to see you.
Good to see you, James.
Thanks so much for having me.
Appreciate you being here.
And a big shout out to our scheduler, Pam Hilke,
who does an amazing job bringing people in and coordinating with people in the logistics
and all the different things to go on to make this happen so that you guys can put up
with me for 20 minutes.
We appreciate Pam and I bring this up because couldn't have you guys in on a better day.
It is giving Tuesday and one of our favorite nonprofits and our favorite organizations
to talk to.
Great day to have you guys in, Amy.
Great scheduling, Pam.
Nice work.
I love my Pam.
She's been part of my life since the day I was born.
Yeah.
It's pretty beautiful.
That's a beautiful story right there that we can talk about one day.
But I do want to talk about the family center and the great work, the vital work that
you guys are doing over there and how beneficial giving is to an organization like the family
center.
We talk about this, Amy.
We talk about how important it is to invest in your community, that your dollars and
cents with the family center go farther than we could ever put in the words.
But I don't know if we really get a chance to get into the weeds on this one and get into
the details of how vital it is, the community interaction with the family center.
And their dollars and cents and how much that greatly helps the family center.
I agree.
I think we talk a lot about a night of stay and the valuation of a night of stay.
But there's so much that goes into that.
There's the logistics of food and heat and maintenance and all of those things.
But what is a huge part of that is advocacy.
And the advocates that are amazing training within our organization that provide security
and hope and confidence to people that come in a victim and leave a survivor.
My dad used to talk, my dad had a former hockey player group watching a lot of hockey
with him.
He'd always, you know, hockey players are crazy in general, but then he'd always point
out the goalies.
And you got to be a, you got to be different cut from different cloth, a different breed
to be a goalie.
It's an insane gig.
I feel that same way about our volunteers in this community that they are just cut from
a different cloth.
We've got so many amazing people in this community that just show up.
You see them at all kinds of events.
You know, the way is doing this, the family center is doing this, encourages doing this
and they're at all of these events.
We've got a lot of great community members when it comes to this and the impact that they
make on the family center.
I agree.
And I think that we forget that while those dollars on Giving Tuesday are vital, we
all have time and talent to give and anytime that we have a volunteer that graces the doors
of the family center, that frees funds to cover other expenses within our organization.
So if you think that even for a moment that volunteerism is not key to both the work
that needs to be done, but also the funds that are needed within an organization that
is just not the case, we need each and every volunteer as well.
You know, Amy, as I was thinking about the interview last night and doing a little bit of homework
for this and everything, one of the things that I was thinking about is, you know, I'm
so close to this that I think sometimes unintentionally, but I assume that people understand what
the family center does and how all the layers to that.
Without, you know, obviously we cannot get too detailed here, but being a rough outline
of what it is for the clients that come to the family center and what that entails.
If we could go through those steps of that a little bit, maybe we'll be able to show
people the different ways that they can help, that they can impact, maybe they hear something
of, well, that's, I'm actually really good at that.
Maybe I can help with the family center.
That's something that I've always been interested in, I would like to have more of an impact
on.
I think that raises a really good point, James.
We are involved to a point where we forget that there are people in this organization that
one, don't even know there is a family center here, that two don't understand that the
family center serves victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, human trafficking,
and provides them with safe shelter, but also with a myriad of services and advocacy
such as attending court with them, helping them through restraining orders, connecting
them with community resources, providing safety planning, transportation, a variety of
different advocacy.
As far as what a victim might encounter when they come to the family center, one, we're
24 hours, which I think a lot of people don't realize.
We have a 24 hour crisis line.
We are available 24 hours a day for someone who can make that escape and come to the door.
From that moment on, once they're screened and brought into the organization, they're
provided with a room for them and their family members.
There are kitchens in the facility, there are laundry facilities within the organization,
just those logistics for day-to-day living.
We have a pantry and other resources that even once a victim has transformed to a survivor
and gone into their own living space.
They might visit us again for pantry services, help with those community resources, etc.
We take them hand in hand throughout the experience that they're going through and never leave
their side until they're ready for us to do so.
It's such a beautiful and important part of this process, but it is something that I agree.
I don't think that people understand completely.
They think of the family center and I've talked to people about it before.
They understand that it's a domestic violence shelter, and that's all they know.
That's great.
I'm glad that they're informed even on that level.
That's great.
Most of these people are curious or want to know more about some of those things.
The depth that you just gave us there, the insight, I think, was an incredible amount
of information that people may not always realize because this is one of the hardest things
that a human being will ever have to do is leaving somebody they love.
Regardless of the situation, it may be hard for some of us to wrap our minds around.
Well, this person is hurting me.
I'm not staying with them.
That sounds great in theory on paper.
It's a whole different ball game when you involve the heart and you have so many other
factors involved.
Now that person does that.
They leave that situation.
That's incredibly strong.
That's one of the hardest, strongest things a human being can do, but that's where the
journey really begins.
That's where things really get picked up.
You get to the shelter.
You have this safe space, but then there's court.
Then there's figuring out where am I going next.
If you have children, it's a whole other set of questions and things that people just
don't understand.
Hearing some of those details, hearing some of those things that the family center does
along with the shelter part of this, not only is it incredibly important, I think, for
our empathy as a community and understanding what it is to be somebody that works at the
family center or a client at the family center, but hopefully it reminds people of all the
work that needs to be done over there.
Every time we get a volunteer that shows up and maybe you come by, you mow the lawn or
you shovel or you help maybe put up some light, you change some light bulbs or something
like that.
Well, I do that at home.
That doesn't seem like that big of a deal.
It is.
It's a big deal.
It's one less thing that you and the staff have to worry about over there.
You can focus on the work that you guys got going on.
Absolutely.
And I think that each of those times that someone comes in and volunteers, it's an opportunity
for us to talk more about the work that's being done there.
Just last week we put the annual appeal out and we did it in one day, thanks to the support
of the community members that came in and volunteered and helped me with stamps and
folding and things that you might think weren't a big deal either.
But not only did that give an opportunity for me to talk with those folks, there was
one person that came and volunteered that didn't realize we had bedrooms upstairs that
thought that the majority of the work that we did was outreach and so that person can
now go into the community and talk more about the work that's being done and I think that
that's vital.
Yeah.
Word of mouth.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And just having a couple of hours as the advocates worked through their day coming
through that space and my having the opportunity to introduce them to the folks that were
assisting me that day, they met our child and youth advocate and found out what it is
to support a family in crisis that has to, you know, reboot their parenting skills
and deal with the secondary trauma of their children.
Our mong advocate came through and talked about outreach to mong victims and our support
in the community of those types of events.
Our legal advocate came through the space during that time, our sexual assault coordinator
came through at that time and they got to hear sadly the rising number of sexual assault
cases that were in can honoring in the state and in our area.
It's just really important, I think, for people to realize that each of these people has
a very specific training and our experts in their field and I'm grateful to them for
the work that they do every day.
I am a transplant but I have lived in this state for over two decades and I'm very proud
of that.
I'm very proud of my friends and family.
I've got a lot of family members or all my children were born in this state and I'm
very proud of that.
I love this state.
One of the things I have learned living in Wisconsin for a while is Wisconsin.
Americans are proud of being from Wisconsin and that's cool.
I think that's one of the things that I enjoy the most about this state is the pride that
you guys take in your state and being from Wisconsin and all that.
And all that being said, I would like to see some pride in bringing these numbers down.
You want to be proud of your state.
How about be proud of that?
Just as much as you can promote the Packers and Badgers and different things, you can promote
bringing these numbers down.
Wisconsin has people from around the country have feelings and thoughts and assumptions
about Wisconsinites.
Prove them wrong.
Show them what a real Wisconsinite is because the majority of Wisconsinites I have met
known are not these types of people or not the people that are bringing these numbers
up.
They're bringing them down and it's important thing to think about when you see numbers
like we did last couple of weeks and we see these reports.
We see that these numbers have not, they've stayed steady since the pandemic.
If anything, they've risen.
That's not the Wisconsin I know.
That's not the, we want you on the right side of history on this subject and I'm sorry
to go on a whole different side angle here.
But we bring up something like that and it just gives me an opportunity to shoehorn that
in.
I agree.
I appreciate it.
I went to legislative days this past month and had a conversation with Patrick Teston
that I believe has a great knowledge of this fantastic state and the benefits of living
here.
But I don't, I don't believe he enjoyed hearing that the state of Wisconsin is sixth.
Yeah.
Sixth in the amount of domestic violence homicides.
That is not a, that is not a proud factor figure and actually took Gabriela out of school
that day to go to legislative days and I think it was important for him and others in
the state capital to see an 18 year old advocating for decreasing those numbers, increasing
that funding that's been dramatically to the tune of approximately $300,000 annually
caught during a time in which we're seeing increases in sexual assault, domestic violence
and, and God help us domestic violence homicides.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's something that I will be speaking with representative Krug this week about and Mr.
Teston every chance we get.
Fantastic.
I'm not letting this one go.
I'm not letting this top go away even if the national media it's not in the headlines
or it's not the first thing on people's minds, this child care, I'll bring it up every
time I talk to them.
We found a way to fix the child care issue.
We need to fix this now.
And it's, you know, we're this, what happened with violence and crime act reductions is going
to affect us for a minimum of three years that cut up 298,000 is just Volka and it's just
one year and it will be that amount per year for three years.
So those services, those individuals, that is a direct correlation, the people I spoke
about that do this vital work at the family center, this life changing, life saving work,
which of those services will need to be cut?
Is it child and family?
Is it among services?
Is it safe visitation and exchange?
How do you choose?
One of the biggest things that any state, especially states with a lot of rural population
like Wisconsin has is trying to keep people in state, trying to keep people to move to
that state.
People are not going to want to move to your state if you are number six in the nation
and domestic violence and you are not doing anything to counter that, to help with that,
to bring those numbers down.
You're not bringing people in.
So if you're out there and you're listening and why do I care about medicine of violence,
why do I care about these things?
I bet you care about your tax dollars, I bet you care about these things.
It all ties together, everybody.
So if you can't reach you on caring about domestic violence, maybe I can reach you on your
tax dollars and why you should care about this subject.
It all ties together as they lower the funds for certain things, other things rise.
And then we all the sun, you're paying more taxes on these other things.
It all adds up.
So this is one of the most vital important topics of our future is solving this, is curing
this.
Are we ever going to make domestic violence at a zero?
I don't know.
But I'd like to try, but let's give it a shot, let's at least work towards it and everything.
And that's how we do that.
And one of the other ways we do that, Amy, we're speaking with Amy Shide from the Family
Center, is through volunteering.
When I first moved out to California, I had a lot of time on my hands and I can be a little
bit of a knucklehead.
So it's not good to let me do that.
So I was working in the TV shows and one of our prop people was a disabled person and he
was a great guy and got to know him a little bit and he told me about Special Olympics.
And I knew what Special Olympics was, but I didn't know about the chapter that was so close
in California.
I showed up there with him and I get there and they're like, oh, I want to volunteer.
And they're looking at me like, okay, I was like, I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I just want to volunteer, just put me to work and they put me to work and it's one of
the best times I've ever had.
It's something I'll remember the rest of my life working with that organization and those
people.
And I bring this up because there's a lot of people that want to volunteer at the Family
Center, but they may not, you know, I don't know what I can do.
What can I do?
How can I help?
Let's give people some examples.
Let's give people some ideas of ways they can help the special occasion projects, like
touch a truck.
We can certainly use your help with that.
Those are different examples like the people, ways of people can help with the Family
Center.
I think that one of the biggest misconceptions that I've heard regarding volunteerism community
wide, not just at the Family Center, is, well, I work full time and I have children and
I just don't have time.
And one of the ways James mentioned is touch a truck.
That's a single day donation of time.
There are other opportunities such as that.
There's opportunities like my good friends that came out and helped me stuff envelopes
for two hours.
We listened to Christmas music.
Those of you who were there, I apologize for the fact that I didn't realize till four
songs in that we were on repeat.
So I apologize if you hate Christmas music for the rest of the season.
My bad.
But we have opportunities like that.
We need people to come in and help clean the place.
We need people to answer phones.
We need people to write thank yous.
We all like writing thank yous.
That's something that would free up resources.
There's just so many different things and I would encourage you to visit our website and
take a look at the application is out there.
Some examples of what we might need are out there.
I think that there's just something that everyone could do.
And I would add one more thing to that, James, that ties into Giving Tuesday.
This is going to be the second year in a role where we've seen a decrease in the amount
of donations that are happening, both from an organizational standpoint and from an individual
standpoint.
I'm not talking about the family center, I'm talking nationwide.
So these are facts that are coming in nationwide AP USA Today reporting today on these decreases
in donations.
It's been 40 years since we've seen a decrease in donations annually and it happened last
year and it looks like it might happen again this year.
And if you think that you can't donate, make right a check, set up a monthly donation.
What about getting a bunch of friends together for a luncheon and asking each friend to support
your luncheon by donating $10.
Maybe each bring one little item to create a raffle basket that you could all win.
By getting together, can you make a pot of soup?
Can you make some sandwiches and spend a really nice, lovely afternoon with some friends?
Because that level of grass roots fundraising is our future.
That's what we're finding.
Over and over again, we're seeing that we're going to see less of these corporate donations.
We're going to see individuals that sponsor a night of stay per month and we're going
to say individuals who do grass root fundraising with friends and family.
What about your holiday?
Could you ask everyone to support the family center as opposed to maybe one less gift?
Maybe you don't have stockings this year.
Maybe instead of stockings, you donate needed supplies or better yet some greenbacks to
the family center.
These are fantastic ideas.
One of the things that I think a lot of, certainly little kids are a whole different topic, but
when it comes to adults and getting Christmas gifts, one of the things that I think that
we want is something that, okay, I get this, I open it and I put it on a shelf and I don't
think about it for another 10-15 years or something like that.
Just one more knick knack or one more thing like that, it costs 10-15 bucks and it just
sits there on a shelf.
Some of that stuff is nice, but also some of that stuff as my mother has reminded me
over and over again, she's got enough Coca-Cola things.
Buying that for her for Christmas is kind of a waste of money almost at this point.
Now, I take that $10-15 or whatever and I put it into my community, I put it into the
family center, all of a sudden, that is something that, whether it's months or years later,
she's not just looking at an item on the shelf that, you know, where did I even get that?
She's thinking about, oh, I remember when Jimmy did this for Christmas, I hope he does
it again, that kind of thing, that knowing that is making an impact, a return on your investment,
I think almost everybody, whether you're spending a dollar or not, you want that nowadays.
The rent-money better returns on that dollar than the family center.
You are knowing that you're putting back into it, not only the family center and the
work they're doing, but our future, it all comes back to that, for me at least, certainly
individuals having a freedom and love in their life and everything, and that can't be taken
lightly.
But I continue to come back to children, how often children are affected by these things,
and they are our future, and by helping these families and these kids, we are impacting
our future directly.
I agree with you, and you very well might save a life.
The average this past year has been $91, that a night of stay costs, that's the advocacy
we spoke about, that's that bedroom that we talked about, keeping that kitchen up and
going laundry room, all of those things, maintenance, everything that it comes into a night
of stay.
If you have it in your heart this Giving Tuesday, $91, one night of stay, you have the
opportunity to make that donation on our website, or go to our Facebook page and link to
our website, and you also have the opportunity if you're able to give that $91 every month,
it's a thing of beauty, the idea of sponsoring one night of stay per month, or just a single
night of stay, in honor of someone that you love.
We see that repeatedly, and it warms my heart to see that what has been instilled in that
giver is the idea that they can honor another individual by supporting yet another individual,
and by appreciating the good work that's being done at the Family Center to save those
lives and to support and give individuals and their kids hope for the future, for a safe
future.
Amy, I also see on the website, FamilyCTR.org, I encourage you to bookmark, you can make
a monetary donation, you can grant a target wish, those are other options for people.
Yes, absolutely, so that we have what we need Wednesday on Facebook, we also have a list
of things that we need, you know, there's some captain obvious, we are a communal living
facility and not surprisingly, we often need toilet paper, you know, toilet paper, salt
for the driveways, storage, paper towels, storage containers, easy to make dinners, unbelievably,
unbelievable amount of laundry gets done, and I can tell you that because the laundry room
is above my office, so it's often the sound running water above my head, lovely, but laundry
detergent, cleaning supplies, these are things that we need each and every day to maintain
a facility of that size with the number of people and we are at capacity, and we have
been at capacity since the start of COVID if not before, that is not changing, it's not
changing in shelters statewide, so those sorts of things are incredibly helpful as well.
And one of the beauties of it, and my mom will tell you this, is that you can go out to
the page, you can go to target, you can see the list of things that we need and you can
go to Walmart, you can see the list of things we need and go to Amazon, wherever you shop,
you can create that wish list gift and have it shipped straight to us, and never, ever
have to even leave your house, so know that that's an option as well.
Encourage people to check that out, it couldn't be simpler, I was just doing it as Amy was
talking there and bookmarking it so I can get on there too, go to familyctr.org to find
out more information, encourage you to follow the Family Center on social media, it's a
great Facebook follow, familyctr.org, and throw into your search engine family center,
Wisconsin's Ravas Family Center and you will find it pretty easily.
Amy, if people have other follow-up questions or want to know more about maybe how to
volunteer or impact on this giving Tuesday with the Family Center, how can they get in touch
with you?
Well you can always reach me at resources at familyctr.org or info at familyctr.org, you can call
me anytime, 421-1559, and again today is giving Tuesday, I can't emphasize enough, the support
is much appreciated, we could not do the work that we do without y'all, and if you're
able, please consider donating to our annual appeal or to giving Tuesday today by visiting
our website and clicking monthly donation if you're able.
And Amy mentioned earlier and I always like to mention when we get together, the Family
Center Crisis Line did available 24-7-715-421-1511-421-1511, thanks for Amy for everything.
Thank you James.
Well a more midday magazine for you tomorrow right here on WFHR.
