All right, your girl Brandi Grayson is back on 92.7 FM The Black Conversion Shell with
politics and TV to me.
All right, so we got to wrap this up and get this out of here.
But before I go, there's a couple of things that we were talking about before break, which
is narcissism.
But there's some things that I didn't say.
So they gaslight you, they twist your words, they blame, they project.
There's no accountability.
There's no empathy.
None.
And then after it's all said and done, they hover.
They come back and they stalk you, they tell you they love you, they sing you flowers.
And then they project everything that they've done to you, they'll queues you of doing.
And then they'll twist your words, y'all.
Like you know, if you're on this type of relationship, you got to get out.
And I know it's not easy because I have had an extremely terrible time trying to break
that trauma bond.
And it's my reminder to anyone that's in an abusive or toxic relationship that is not
love.
Love bond is your nervous system being familiar with something and your soul, though, is telling
you to run and your nervous system is telling you to stay because you've been, it's familiar.
And in a lot of folks who have childhood trauma, we've had that kind of relationships with
our parents are people who are supposed to love us, people who were supposed to care for
us.
So when we have a similar relationship with a partner intimate relationship, we think
it's love because our brains and our nervous system, that's all we know.
But the honest to God, truth, y'all, is that we got to run fast.
Because narcissists hate themselves, they're very insecure and they hate you.
I'm going to give you an example.
In my last situation with a narcissist, this person, our whole relationship, he was still
having sex with his baby mama.
His baby mama will come around me and act like we were cool.
She will hug and kiss me and be like, you know, girl, I just appreciate you and I'm
going to give you your props.
But the whole time she was literally sleeping with him.
And the reason I bring that up is because he had triangulated her so good for 13 years
and still is doing that that he can bring her in at any time.
And she hasn't had other relationships because the trauma bond that you have with this person,
he has with other women.
And this could be for women too, y'all.
Narcissists are more pronged to be men, but it happens for women too.
There's women narcissists.
And the thing about it is that after you go through this rollercoaster of love bombing,
questioning yourself this and that, sabotaging your confidence, you don't believe your own
self.
And when you try to explain it to people, they're like, just leave, girl, just leave.
But your nervous system actually won't let you.
Like you're, you're, you're constantly in this kind of flux of, but I love them, but
I love them.
And maybe he'll get better or maybe he's not going to get better, especially a straight
out narcissist personality disorder.
Now there are trauma responses that mimic narcissistic personality attributes.
And even those you, you, you is too dangerous, right?
And this particular individual I'm talking about, if I was out and about with him, he
would be so nice to everybody.
Everybody get drinks, everybody in our community loves him.
And then if I stood too close to a dude that day, we got home, he would slap me, right?
Or shrink me down a size or try to humble me.
And I just thought, if I stuck with him, if I stuck it out, if I showed him that I,
I loved him.
And the thing about being an empath like me, we really think that we can heal everybody.
It's one of the most naive, stupid things that we could ever do or think, but that's
true.
So I have to practice self-awareness all the time.
And it shows up not just in my intimate relationships, it shows up as me as a manager
of people.
Like I've had people work for me that are out to destroy urban triads, like literally
infiltrators.
And I'm like, oh, we can make this work.
What do you need?
Like it's almost like empaths set themselves up to be people's, I don't know what to call
it, but through therapy, reflection, self discovery, I'm getting better at recognizing
it in me.
So I encourage all you guys to do that.
We just have to do the reflection work.
I'm realize that if you're in a relationship with a narcissist or someone who has these
trauma responses, they do not love you.
And this particular person I'm talking about would actually talk about me to everybody
around him.
I mean, negative, but I didn't know.
So I would be around him smiling, but the whole time he's telling his baby mama that
I'm not nothing, he's telling people that I, like just all these crazy lies that I'm
cheating, that I'm lying, that I'm a fraud, and that I'm still in money.
Like all the things that the community would say about Brandy Grayson, he was actually
reiterating it, but then we'll pick up the phone and be like, I love you.
I got your back, whatever you need.
Like it's psychotic and it's crazy, y'all.
And I can't even believe sometimes when I think about it that I was wrapped in it, wrapped
up in it.
And I still have moments where I'm just like, I, I think about this person and I think
like, maybe I'll make it work or maybe it's just me, but I just want to point out that's
how trauma bonds are so, I don't know another word for it, Parker, do you have a word for
it?
Annoying as hell?
Annoying as hell?
Traumatic as hell?
Yeah.
And you can't even explain it because as a part of this macro system of narcissism, you
know, based on white supremacy, we don't really, we don't really care about people.
So when people are trying to explain the psychological damage that they're undergoing
or mental health challenges, if we can't see the disability or we can't see the trauma,
then we just like girl, get over it, especially in black communities.
And can we also point out here on 92.7 FM, the black conversion show that black women
are always take the, the blame, right?
And then with what narcissists do, they will record you.
They will record you acting a fool, getting emotional, going, you know, hitting the door
with your hip.
Okay.
And then, then you look like you're the bad person.
And if you're a black woman, you're already considered to be the bad person.
And don't let it be someone like me who's outspoken, who's dark-skinned it because now,
now only did I hit the door.
Now I am loud.
So it has to be her because she's a bully anyway and she's aggressive anyway and she's
a fraud anyway.
So of course, the story that's being told has to be true, right?
So anyway, I just share all of this to say to y'all as we get ready to get into 2026 where
all of us, hopefully, is moving to reflection, self-discovery, evolution and elevation.
Pay attention to the people around you because sometimes the people that say they love you
don't love you.
And sometimes the person you sleep in with is your biggest hater.
And sometimes the person you sleep in with is actually the demon like monster.
But to everybody else, they're the most charming person.
But if you roll back the information or the facts is demonic, I mean like real life demonic.
So I'm going to encourage us to continue to do the work on ourselves, reflection and
be gentle with other people and stop being so judgmental because y'all quick to point
out other people mess.
And if we pull back your blanket, I'm sure your bed is messy, ugly, stank and smelling
like eggs, fish and toes.
But anyway, here on 92.7 FM, the Black Conversion Show, I am Brandi Grayson.
And until next week, y'all know y'all stay hot in the head.
Oh, and Urban Triage and Brandi Grayson is on a New Year's party.
So follow Urban Triage Pays is going to happen at Bernale's, the first woman sports
viral New Year's Eve.
So come and join us for a lot of hip hop, R&B and New Year's celebration.
Peace, love and hair, Greece.
