Okay. Okay. Look. I feel you. Not but like I'm in a club. Hey. Hey. You are two
Zen to 92.7 FM with your girl Brandy Gray said here on the black conversion
show with my special guest Denise Baker Jackson Stevenson. That is not her
whole name, but I get I get a real kick ever say I love it. So anyway prior to
break, we're talking about, you know, the impact really a slavery and the
residual consequences for people known as black on our self esteem and our
ability to see our own worth and our own greatness, which leads to this way of
being in the world where we ask we actually do have opportunities and don't take
advantage of it. And how other people known as black Africans and Caribbean people
will come here and take advantage of the opportunities and the resources and
ways that we may not believe that we can and could, right? But we walk around
with confidence, but lack self esteem and that's based on the history of slavery
and the residual effect about being from being enslaved for 400 years and not
just physically enslaved, but mentally enslaved. Okay. So anyway, let's any
other topic. Y'all want to talk about what came up at the end because we were
kind of wrapping up really quick and I and I cut you off. So Neenie, is there
something I was talking about how to clear, you know, like clearing before you
enter a room, like what's in the way of you showing up as your authentic self?
You know, sometimes we have these thoughts that are clouding our mind of who we
should look like, who we should be, but like, yes, who we are. But if we take the
time to really think about who we really are, you know, have some rebuttals for
ourselves, you know, before and as a way to prepare when you come into the room
and just being able to be outside of yourself. Yeah, being able to observe
yourself. Yes. Yeah. Not worrying about how you look. Not worrying about, do I
have to show up perfect? Do I have to, you know, should my body look like this?
You know, all the different things that we could probably relate about as women.
Yeah. And then we get to walk into the room and we get to just be. Yeah, I like
it. What about you Denise? I like the fact that you say we get to, we get to
yeah, I always think like every day I wake up and I choose to go somewhere and be
in a place I get to. Yeah, yeah, have to. And that's really honest. The guy will
change my whole outlook on the world. I don't have to be stressed out about
the you don't. And we've been talking a lot about this with our urban triage
staff because we do personal development and trauma recovery in the work, which
can be a little, it's a hard balance with people because it's a hard, it's hard to
be accountable for how you're showing up, right? And we like to give excuses. But one
of the things that's come up a lot in the last week for our staff is this already always
listening way of being where you, someone's talking to you in a very nice tone. Maybe
the email is really friendly, but you still take it as aggressive, right? Or someone's
talking to you about something or they're just short. Like, nope, that's not going to
work for me. And now you're like, I don't know why they're talking to me like that.
And it's not them. It's you. It's your tone. It's not your tone. It's your perception
of them. Is there your filter? You're already always listening for them to be a certain
kind of way like a brandy. You're always listening for me to be aggressive. So even when I'm
nice and sweet, you miss it, right? And then you're like, Oh, she's so aggressive. That
was so hard. But it's because of your perception and your filter and not necessarily what's
actually occurring in the now. And it is through your healing and your ability to deal
with your darkness where you find your peace. And when you find peace, then peace shows
up. And this is think about even showing up in a room and just you get to be there, but
you actually don't get to be there until you heal you. Yes. Because even if you walk
in that room without your with your unhealed parts and you don't you affirm yourself, I'm
I'm supposed to be here. I'm worried that I'm enough. It's going to show back up because
you haven't done the work to get into discovery of what your your triggers are and how
your nervous system is programmed to be. Now, this doesn't mean that you stop being
that way because Brandon Grayson has to check herself all the time. But now you're aware
of your way of being. So when you do follow your face, you can say to the people around
you and that you love like, Hey, let me get back in integrity because I know the way
that I showed up wasn't my best self. You know, and that's where the accountability
piece comes in. Yes. I'm not even going to go ahead. I don't want to have you got
to share what you want to share because that's when it's authentic genuine conversation
girl. Just say it. Okay. So it's real. And like we could feel it. So what girl? Go
here. We'll take you back. Okay. So bring your back real quick. When you were saying
triggers. Yes. You just said a lot. Yeah. I'm kind of jumping everywhere. Yes. Okay.
But people don't know I work for urban triad. Yeah. You did. And it was for like a month
and a half. Yeah. She kept me. Look, she jumped in and jumped out. But she's so long
stuff. We don't want this. We got a part too. So you could continue. Just start, girl.
We don't have to come back and talk about this on another level. But seriously, like
triggers. Yeah. Because when I first met you. Yeah. I still think this of you. Yeah.
I think you're just such a brilliant light in the world. I love both people. Yes. I'm
just learning how to be bold. Yeah. And I think my problem was I was like, I was just
going through a lot. Yeah. And I was triggered. And I I received information in the way
I received it. Yes. And then I responded. Yeah. Do you see what I'm saying? And then
like it's it to the outside world. I was like, ooh, mental illness. But when you're not,
I guess it's just so much I want to say. Yeah. But when you're like used to people,
like you say, people just think I'm aggressive. So all the time, I'm going to be aggressive.
Yeah. You just take that and you tell yourself something in your mind and you answer the
questions for the person. Oh, yeah. And you just decide on your own that this person
is not going to care about what. And that's just not the truth. And I just want to piggyback
off what you were saying. Yeah. Why? You could say people do it, but like in a black community.
Yeah. Like we just don't trust each other. Like we don't trust our because we don't trust
ourselves. The emotion. But we don't trust ourselves. Right. So when you get good people that
come in your world, they feel fake. You got to be fake, right? Like people tell me all the time
before they got to know me that you got to be fake because like you can't be this actual person
who cares about people. Like you're actually not going to hold space for this. You're not going
to give me another child. You're not going to give me a break or you're not going to because people
don't do that thing. Okay. I honest to God, that's how I feel. Yeah. Oh, it was. I felt like she's
not going to care about what. And that's crazy. And you know, what's so crazy about that is that
that's all I do is care about our people. Like and we're going to hold space. That's
that's what urban trash is based on. But we're going to continue this this conversation next Saturday
y'all say to them. They're going to be our guests for part two. It is going down. We're going to get
more into the conversation on relationships. I think this was a great start to provide the
content on the dynamics of people known as black because we want to do our best not to cause harm.
So now I think we're ready to move to part two. And let's get into the nitty-gritty of relationships
next Saturday. Tune in next Saturday 11 a.m. 92.7 F E with your girl, Brandy Gracie!