Okay, it is your girl Brandi Grayson on 92.7 FM.
You're tuned in to the black, black, black, black conversion show.
And she sure does get it from her mama.
Yes.
Rest in peace, mother.
And today I have a special guest.
I got a co-host in the house that's new to black conversion show because, you know,
cousin Clyde and April, they just left me years ago.
They don't even communicate.
I think Clyde is still on account to invite the calendar and by he just stopped answering.
He just don't even, he just whatever.
But it's okay.
Today we have a special guest, Colin, right?
There's Colin.
Yeah.
Correct me because I'm terrible with him.
Hey, Colin.
You want to introduce yourself.
Tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do in this world.
Yeah.
Well, my name is Colin Bruce.
I can, I'm happy to be here.
Thanks so much for having me on today and I'm involved mostly these days.
I'm involved in what you call polytrics.
Oh, okay.
I think there's a fairly apt name for what happens in that world, but I work for a state
senator.
Okay.
I'm involved in the community here.
I'm Vice President of the Neighborhood Association that covers this area where the studio
is downtown.
Downtown Madison and I'm lucky enough that I can live here.
Okay.
Period.
Are you from Madison?
I was raised in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
The Born in Chicago, my parents brought me to Kenosha when I was three days old, so
my whole life until age 18 in Kenosha and I moved to Madison.
And how old are you?
And how old are you?
I'm almost 30 years old.
Okay.
All right.
You're looking a little young.
Okay.
Okay, Colin.
And can I ask you what's your race?
How do you identify?
I identify as black, but I'm really mixed race.
My mom is black.
My dad is white.
Okay.
But.
Oh, that's a good topic.
Black mama and a white daddy.
Oh, my God.
Yep.
Oh, I love the spice.
So we about to get into it today.
So I just want you all to know I just did a post on Facebook and was like, Hey, I need
a co-host.
And Colin was like, Okay, I guess I'll join you.
He was brave enough, you know?
So I'm super excited to have you here with me today.
Our topic is going to be probably all over the place, but the reason he's here, because
we want to talk about and ask the question, does heterosis men hate women?
And we're not going to get into that quite yet.
You want to stay tuned for the tea.
So what we want to first do here on the black conversion show with your girl Brandy Grayson
hostess with the most is just check in.
We start our show every Saturday, just checking in with the folks that are in the house.
So I'm going to pass it to Luke, my white producer, one of my favorite people.
Go ahead, Luke.
How you doing?
I'm doing all right.
It's wild to think that this weekend is already going to be June, so I'm trying to just
get my head fully wrapped around that summer is here.
It's been one of those.
I love advocating for a four day work week, and then we just had a four day work week
this past week.
And it's like, everybody tries to still do five days of work.
Yeah.
It doesn't work.
Right.
We got to change the mindset around it because anytime you see the studies of four day
work weeks, they're like, it is good, it's successful, but anytime we have like a short
week like this past weekend with the Memorial Day holiday, it's just like, how does this
work?
I don't know how to even get back into the rhythm of this.
Yeah.
I'm excited, Luke, to see you at Irving, triage, black brilliance gala this weekend coming
up tonight.
Oh, that's right.
Tomorrow.
Yeah.
Tonight.
Tonight is Saturday morning, right?
May 35.
Okay.
So we're at the overture center for the arts at 6 p.m. celebrating black brilliance, celebrating
unsung heroes in our community.
You can find an amazing article by Madison 365 describing the night describing our honorees,
our categories is going to be a night to remember.
And I don't know if people have had the pleasure or going into or just being at the overture
center, but it is so elegant and their food is so good.
The whole room will turn red at night.
It's just going to be so good.
I'm so excited.
So the reason I brought up Luke, because I don't know Luke is one of my favorite white
boys.
Okay.
So let's just, let's just say that and clear the air.
But Luke, I am encouraging him to get a haircut by a black barber so that his beard
can be lined up.
Okay, Luke.
So no white cuts today.
No cost cutters.
Okay.
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't go to cost cutters anyways.
No, no.
Let's just be clear.
Like I stopped doing the great clips and all that stuff in high school because we need
his lining to be sharp and we know the difference between the black barber fade and the other
fade.
Okay.
There's some differences.
We want to encourage Luke.
One of my favorite white boys to get it right.
Cause y'all know I'm going to take a picture with him tonight.
And I'm going to post it.
I love Luke.
Okay.
So I just wanted to advertise that and I cannot wait to meet your wife.
She's looking forward to it.
She's very excited.
She likes.
We don't have a whole lot of reasons to get all doll up and dressed up and stuff so she's
really looking forward to it.
That's awesome.
So right.
Like get dressed up.
Come and join us.
We might have a couple tickets left tonight.
I don't know.
Check the website.
Check my Facebook.
I am Brandi Grayson CEO founder of Irvin triage.
You're tuned into 92.7 of them, the black conversion show.
And we are celebrating black brilliance raising funds for our agriculture initiatives.
I don't know if y'all know this, but we teach people how to farm.
We teach people how to grow food.
We build garden beds throughout Dane County.
We also teach people how to grow a specialty crop that we call hemp cannabis CBD weed
for others.
And you know, and weed is defined by the level of THC.
We do not put high levels of THC in our weed, but you know, it has to be legal.
We do have a permit and we teach people how to grow and take it to the market.
And I don't think there's any other nonprofit that does that, right?
Well, you know, tell people for the longest time that it was legal, it didn't do it.
It was not a thing for a very long period of the state and the nation's history.
Right.
So how revolutionary is that?
The black woman that likes to pee people off teaching black people how to grow weed.
Come and join me.
Okay.
And check out the work group.
It stars the first week of June.
You can still sign up $2,500 C grants to folks who complete our course in class.
And then you also get a weekly stipend and you get to eat like we are, I think our agriculture
director, Ruthanna does amazing.
I absolutely love this woman.
She is a gift to us all.
So shout out to Ruthanna for being the director of our agriculture program and all of our,
our staff that support that program.
And if y'all don't know, now you know, USDA was our funder, federal funds.
It has all been cut from a lot of agriculture farmers across the state.
So it's super important imperative that we support organizations like Irvin triage, not
just because I'm the founder, but because it's important that we continue to distribute
free CSA produce boxes this summer and teach people how to grow their own food for sustainability.
So anyway, we're going to get into the tea.
I just wanted to, you know, brag on my white boy, Luke, and how he's about to get that
black cut for the black brilliance gala this weekend and shout out to civic media, the station
that I am on right now.
My boy Sage, one of the owners, I don't know how many owners they have.
They might even just have one cause sage is the man.
Okay, he also sits on my board, by the way.
And he is a big sponsor of Irvin triage and the black brilliance gala.
So make sure you guys are supporting civic media because it is my people.
Okay.
So anyway, and shout out to MG&E Foundation who also donated to Irvin triage for our, our
gala and the or foundation, y'all don't know the or foundation, but the or foundation
knows Irvin triage.
Okay.
They've forever supporting us.
And on the personal level, they keep me from losing my mind.
And I mean from like just the support, emotional support and administration support.
And all just all my white folks that we shown up and showing out for Irvin triage, I absolutely
love y'all and appreciate y'all.
So today on the black brilliance show, we're going to discuss a few topics.
Okay.
So we're going to talk about six year old boy that was shot over the week.
Shot himself.
He got a hold of a gun.
And there was some shooting at Penn Park.
The question at Penn Park here in Madison was constant, is it this person shoot themselves
or did someone shoot them?
So we're going to get into that.
And then we want to talk about Jasmine Crockett, representative.
I love this black woman.
She just be handing Trump his, you know what, but I can't say it on Eric, because Luke
is going to get mad at me.
So, you know, maybe another day, but we're also going to talk about other pilot politics
that come up.
But one of the things I want to start today with on the black brilliance gate, not the
black, I don't say the black brilliance gate, let's see, this is what happens when you
were exhausted.
Okay.
I'm really here at checking from you, you are all the excellent things that are coming
with the black brilliance gala this weekend.
How are you doing?
Oh, my God.
How am I doing, Luke?
Is that a trick question?
I am exhausted.
So I can't, like, you know, I'm like a little kid right now.
You know how kids, they get exhausted and all they do is act bad.
Like they run around and then they keep smiling and they're saying things and they act
and like, they got energy, but they don't because I'm exhausted to the bones.
I had to do our run of our, the run of our show, the gala, first of all, it was
due to the overture center on Monday and I just got it to them last night.
So Kelsey at the overture center is not happy with me.
So just shout out to the overture center for being patient with me because as we are
organizing one of our biggest events of the year, I still have to work.
I still have to do everything else I do.
In some days, I bite off more than I can chew and managing staff.
We are in the middle of audits and compliance, revamping all of our processes and structures
to make sure that we are serving our community as efficiently and as best as we can.
How we go through a single audit.
So let's just say life be life, but it's going to be all right.
Okay, y'all.
And I also want to bring up and touch on like the, I always talk about urban triage being
rooted and framed in transformative education and how it is my job as someone who is considered
a leader and considered themselves a leader to make sure that I am walking the walk and
talking the talk integrity is everything to me.
Taking care of myself is everything, making sure I'm holding myself accountable when
I show up outside of who I say I am being in the world.
So this morning, Colin, I showed up outside of myself.
So I showed up just not being who I say I wanted to be.
And I mean in the morning at like one o'clock to a clock in the morning, responding to someone
who just was engaged in a conversation with me, me asking them about, hey, you guys are
coming to receive your award.
We haven't heard anything.
And then basically being like, no, because we need different kind of support.
You want to give us an award.
You want to kind of exploit us.
That wasn't their word.
That's mine.
That was my interpretation.
But you're not helping us with money.
You don't give us money.
You're not helping us do this thing that we're doing for free in the community.
But you want to give us an award.
So I, I felt like I wanted to snap, you know, have you ever been in that situation where
you just wanted to like snap?
Oh, well, yeah, certainly.
And were you still up or had you woken up?
No, I was still up working.
So, you know, when you're up late, you're tired, it's time to go to bed, but you're still
working on stuff.
That's, that's, that's much worse than wake up with a clear head and, you know, I often
have stressful dreams and I wake up.
In fact, I had a dream last night that I was riding around the whole neighborhood, even
though I lived here for the past 12 years.
I couldn't find the studio.
Uh-huh.
You just have anxiety for no reason.
Yeah.
And I woke up and I know exactly where the studio is.
And guess what?
I showed up to the wrong office, but I was only a block boy.
So you basically created your reality, right?
Yeah.
So I think, I think you said something very important.
You know, like when you were exhausted, you actually don't show up as your best self, right?
You often get pulled into or have brain fog or engage in things that or show up in ways
that's not your best self.
So I'm going to acknowledge that for myself and be gentle with myself.
I mean, you want more details about what that looks like.
Check out my Facebook because I talked about it live this morning at 8 o'clock and just
being very intentional and recognizing that oftentimes the way people show up in our
life is often a reflection of ourselves and a reflection of either us now or then.
So I was saying that the, that person's response to saying like, urban triage should be helping
us more financially or more intentional and deliberately.
I was like, that's how I used to show up.
That's how I used to show up.
Like years ago before I learned and accepted that don't nobody owe me nothing, right?
And that also we don't know what leadership means for people and their own capacity and
what they have to do and what they're, what they're carrying.
And I used to be just like that.
I used to get so mad at black leaders in Madison, like how should we do on this?
How should we be doing that with no clue or context of what it really means to do the work
that they're doing?
And we have this really higher expectation for black women in leadership and in expectations
we will never put on white women, white men or even black men in leadership.
And anyway, we're going to get on that topic when we talk about, do men hate women?
Do heteroset six, wait a minute, oh my god, I'm tired, heterosis, look, what is the
heterosis?
So heterosis is if you're a man that is attracted to women and that you identify and we're
born male is heterosis.
Okay.
So and that's like, and you could be heterosis woman too, right, though, but I just wanted
to get some help there because I'm losing my mind in this moment here.
We're here to help you.
The black version.
So when we're retarm, we're going to talk about that.
We're going to talk to men hate women and if they do and whatever the answer is, I don't
know the answer.
I have my own opinion.
Is it compounded in the black community?
Does it show up differently?
And if it does show up differently, why and how does the proximity of to whiteness impact
how we show up as women and as men, I can't wait to get into this and other politics out
here.
And for people known as black polytrics is our life.
We can't be black without polytrics.
So stay tuned to the black conversion show here on 92.7 FM with your girl Brandi Grayson
and my co-host today.
Colin Burst.
All right.
Be back in a sec.
Okay.
I think this being said, well, I don't know what this is.
It's on like triple seven, double those seven music, but you are tuned into the black conversion
show here on 92.7 FM.
You MDX with your girl, Brandi Grayson, the hostess with the most is in my co-host today.
Colin Burst.
All right.
We are so excited to have him in the house.
Anybody that's brave enough to hang out with me.
Okay.
We welcome you today.
So prior to the break, we was just talking about everything.
So.
Check in.
Black brilliance.
Black brilliance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some good stuff.
And what I want to go into and if you guys ever missed the whole show, you can always
check out Civic Media.
I think there's a Facebook website where you can catch the recordings.
Luke, is that right?
Yeah.
So we'll post the videos on the Facebook and YouTube channels as well as you can find
the podcast at civicmedia.us or wherever you get your podcasts.
So if you are a podcast listener on Apple or Spotify, you can head over there, subscribe
to black convergence on those platforms.
Okay.
Period.
Thank you, Luke, for that.
Sorry, y'all.
I'm moving around.
So if you hear the mind, like might go in and out, I was trying to fix Facebook.
Yeah.
To be transparent.
But Colin, you're here today to co-host with me as we talk about some difficult, complex
type of topics you know what I mean with people have their own opinions and experiences.
But before we get into this whole heterosis notion or idea or discussion, do men hate
women?
And if they do, how does it play out and if they don't or whatever, what is the compounding
impact for black people?
How does it show up differently for black men?
But before we get there, we're going to talk about Colin because Colin just told me
his mama black and his daddy white.
And I have my own opinions about that, Colin.
One, one, one, one, well, you know what, I mean, you're going to give my opinion because
of that, my influence, your answers to my questions.
So I'm going to leave my opinion to my daughter and self into afterwards.
Sounds good.
So tell me, tell us as a man, as someone who identifies as a black man, how was it, how
was it being raised by a black mama in a white daddy?
Well, well, you know, I grew up in a loving household, both my mom and my dad were great
parents to me.
And it took me a while, actually, to be start to understand race and essentially, you
know, the world is, I think most black people realize at some point that your race is something
you're given by by society and I learned that kind of the hard way.
So if you ask me, say, when I was five years old, are you black or white?
I may not have understood how to answer that question.
But when you, when I was six, seven, eight, in school, you, you know, I, in elementary
school, getting more discipline for the same type of behaviors.
Yeah.
And then there were things that I think were just lost on, on my father.
Uh, he, um, wasn't it all, uh, racists or, you know, intention, intentionally, um, ignorant,
but there was things that my mom had to explain to him, right?
You know, if the police pull you over, he says, well, you don't have to answer any
questions.
My mom said, well, it doesn't work that way for our black child.
Right.
Actually, you do, Colin.
You actually, you do and keep your darn hands on the steering wheel.
Right.
You're better off.
Yeah, you know, not letting the, uh, the officer get, um, get annoyed with you.
Cause I could lead to going in handcuffs, going down the jail.
And that's something that I think my, uh, um, mom and me as a, as I grew up, had to try
to explain to your dad.
Yeah.
Now what, for you, what was the, I opened a moment in your life where you realized that
I have to identify some kind of way.
I have to choose.
Is there like a moment where you were like, I don't know.
I have to choose.
And I never even thought about this before.
Yeah.
There was, um, a time when I went to the DMV as a kid and I would, I needed a, a state
ID card because I think I was trying to, I needed to go to Canada.
And in those days, you didn't need a passport, but just, uh, but we know that change.
Right.
And so at the time the DMV was asking for your race, it's not printed.
It's not printed on the driver's license or the ID card.
Um, but they were asking that question anyway.
And so I was asked the question and my mom, actually, I was fairly young.
My mom deferred to me and I think it was, it was a tough question.
Yeah.
Um, and that's, that's a, it's a moment that sticks with me.
Yeah.
And, and there's two things that come to mind.
One, your mom allowed you to decide, um, and what was the conversation with your mom
around race?
And what made you, well, that's three questions or two and a half.
But what made you choose black?
Well, I think I chose black because, like I said, people, the world chose it.
The world, you know, I went to school and, and, you know, or, uh, I went to a, I
lived in a, you know, diverse neighborhood, but it was definitely mostly white people in
Kenosha.
And, um, you know, classmates would tell me, you're black, you're different, you know,
you ain't like me, homie.
And then, you know, like middle school age and then racial stereotypes.
Yeah.
Uh,
people start to become aware of them, watching television or just being on society and
then applying it to you.
Yeah.
Now, my question to you, did you get to hang out with your black people?
Like your mom and family, did you like have dinner and you experience all the good food
and stuff?
Well, how was that?
Well, it was always very good.
I, my mom's family mostly is in the South Side of Chicago.
Oh, okay.
That's where I'm from.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
That's why I kind of like you.
All right.
Um, so yeah, thanks.
I, you know, I started to prefer to go there for holidays, Thanksgiving and stuff.
And why?
Because what we be doing, what black, what makes it a holiday different from black,
why holidays?
Go ahead, come on.
Well, I think one of the defining, I think I've only had a recent, recent years,
I think white people started eating mac and cheese at things, but I think, you know,
for a time,
I was missing the macaroni and cheese.
Look, he didn't want no castor art.
Yeah, that green bee castor art smell good.
That's what I like.
Take some just a out of pity.
But yeah, I skip over some of those cast roles.
Luke, be trying to go to his black cousin house on holiday.
Like, come on, baby, we're going, we're going over to our wrong house, okay?
They've been gifted with a lot of different skills and gifts, but, uh, cooking is not my,
that's not my cousin's, and it's not my cousin's thing.
Okay.
So I just want to point out that we're going to get back to your conversation on growing up
in a mixed race household.
And I do want to talk about, in my opinion, the difference.
I wish we had a biracial, uh, person here that identifies as black
and has a white mother, um, because I think for me, it matters from what I've
experienced by, with, by racial children, but let's get into it.
And your Kayla, Kaylyn, is someone who I've had these conversations with.
So I'm going to talk based on what she's told me and you know her.
But we'll get into that.
You want to stay tuned to the black conversion show as we dive into these complex,
challenging conversations.
We also are going to get into the conversation, do men hate women and, and do black
men hate black women.
And how does that show up?
And, and is it true?
And what does the proximity of whiteness looks like as it relates to the interactions
and power dynamics with relationships?
We'll be back here on 92.7 FM WM DX with your girl Brandy Grayson, Hoses with the most
ass.
Hey, you were back on 92.7 FM with the girl BG.
Why don't I name myself VG?
I don't know, but it sounded good.
And I'm trying to go into this rapper feeling.
So you're tuned into the black conversion show here on 92.7 FM with Brandy Grayson.
You're Hoses with the most ass in my co-host for the day.
Colin Burrusha.
Okay.
And Colin, tell us the listeners a little bit who you are in this world in Dane County.
Cause it doesn't case they just tune in and we just want to recap.
Who are you, black man?
I am.
You know, Dane County is a little Madison, especially downtown Madison is, is
less, is less diverse than than the area where I grew up, which, which was somewhat
diverse.
Yeah.
And, you know, you know, when it's the, the black excellence gala, because I'm,
thank you for bringing that to my neighborhood again.
Okay, right.
Cause you know, we bring all the black people out on black brilliance day at the
overtures and is the blackest night at the overtures center.
Maybe not compared to the white party or the concert Michael Johnson did years
ago, but we, we, we, we get there.
But I moved, I moved here.
I started at UW Madison.
I like so many other people.
I never left after college started working for in the state capital.
Okay.
As a support staffer.
Okay.
What do you want to do with that?
Well, after that, I then worked in the administration and the executive branch of
state government.
Now I'm on the staff of a state senator who represents the south side of Milwaukee.
Okay.
Period.
And they black no, so that's all right.
Right.
Right now, there's only, if you, if you look at the state legislature and the state
senate, there's only two, yeah, rather, there's three, three black members.
And one of them's a Republican, actually, well, that's interesting.
Yeah.
But sometimes I think I'm going to be a Republican moderate or something.
Cause y'all different craftsmen to get it right.
Cause I don't be understanding what we be doing out here.
Y'all gonna make me turn ship.
Okay.
Sorry, Kyle.
What's about you tonight?
So I, and that's what I, you know, when I get into and I like to do a public service
and I told you earlier, I was I'm part of the neighborhood association.
I'm on the chair of the, I'll call license review committee here.
Oh, sure, y'all hear that.
We got a black man on the chair.
Oh, I need to apply for me and look at license as of, as of a week ago.
Okay.
Well, congrats on Lincoln.
Well, thank you.
It's really neat in us in those spaces.
Hey, man.
I really enjoy it because most of our, or I don't know about most, but many of our
applicants are immigrant-owned, minority-owned businesses who bring ethnic
foods to, to Madison, and it's not a huge, you know, there's some issues around safety.
But most of what I, my role in the ALRC is promoting diversity in our community and
the type of foods and beverages that we have.
All right.
I kind of like this brother.
I don't even know him, y'all, but I know him now.
Okay.
And I'm kind of digging it.
Okay.
So prior to break, we were talking about his experience, like growing up as a black man,
identifying as a black man with a white, a white dad and a black mother, and how sometimes
his dad, things had to be explained to his dad because he had privileges.
And he doesn't, he didn't experience, he doesn't get, I guess when we said labeled, you
know, or seen as anything other than a white man.
So he, he has a different experience.
He gets to move in the world differently.
So your mom had to teach him, like actually our son cannot move like you.
Right.
Right.
Anything else you want to add to that conversation?
Like we were talking about food, too, and how?
Well, you know, one of the things, an example of that is I, when I first came to,
when I was a freshman at UW-Madison, I noticed I would walk down the street and, you know,
people might cross.
Cross or move, yeah.
Which is a bit, you know, I, and I told my, my parents at over, you know, my first
Thanksgiving back and my dad said, oh, well, how could they, why would they be afraid
of you?
You don't, you don't look like you could hurt a fly.
Right.
That's something.
It's not what the, it's not what it's about.
Yeah.
You know, and how does that feel though to have a parent that you love and who you know
loves you?
Like your, your dad was good to you, right?
Always present and not being able to share or have that kind of relationship to relate
to your experiences.
So he, he couldn't necessarily give you advice on how to not internalize it or what to do
or how to navigate that.
How did that feel for you?
You know, and at, at times it came across, I think this happened so much now.
This is kind of how racism in general works now broadly as people say, well, it's, there
is no racism.
Yeah.
That's, that's mainly what, what we're seeing.
Yeah.
The denial.
And so, you know, it's, it, I definitely noticed a difference talking to my mom and dad
about stuff like that.
Yeah.
And on one hand, I, with mom, it'd be more validating the dad, it'd be more like, um,
not.
Yeah.
And so I, I think I slowly stopped even talking to him about, bringing up that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because talking to people, even if you love them or not, and they say, no, that doesn't,
that can't be your experience has to feel even more like almost like retraumatizing because
the person you love can't get it and you can't have that conversation with them.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, my dad, like, I think a lot of white people really disagree with racism.
Yeah.
So they, they really, they really don't think it should happen.
And so when it does, the reaction is to like, they, they can't understand it or say, no,
it can't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And 1932, that was no longer your two then to the black conversion show here on 92.7 FM
with your girl, Brandy Grayson and my co-host for the day, Colin, Colin, we're just going
to talk about Colin race because, you know, we don't get to talk about mixed race a lot
on this show.
And I love to always, you know, discuss things from the, from the, from the experience
because I always have my opinion and y'all listening to my opinion, but it's my opinion.
And sometimes it ain't even fax is just based in my opinion.
Okay.
One of the things that stand out to me that you said prior to our last break or whatever
was, you know, I really enjoyed hanging out with my black family, like on the holidays.
Can you give us kind of like the comparison between like your wife, family hanging out
in black families?
Huh.
Well, Colin, like my daddy, but not be listening to this.
You always try to throw people under the bus.
You know, I think my, my wife's family was more privileged, not just in racial, but
financially, and it's a tough question because I can, I can see it in my head, but putting
it towards me.
It's a word.
I think.
Well, did they have good music?
Oh, yeah.
So my, on my dad's side, one of the things we would do, I think things were more structured
and formal in a way.
So, you know, we would break out like these printed songs, song books on certain holidays
and like seeing these songs.
Like a little chorus.
Yeah.
That is hilarious.
On my, on my mom's side, mom's family, like you walk in and their, you know, music's
playing and.
Right.
And everything's happening.
Yeah.
At once.
Well, and there's no, there's no, it's, it always felt slightly more relaxed.
Yeah.
Um, and I can't explain it.
I think there's, there's comedy about both that white people being overly, uh, formal
or overly structured in a way they conduct themselves.
Yeah.
And, you know, I, I was lucky enough that I could see that there was some truth behind
the comedy, you know, that's real because as someone who grew up with white folks in
my family, I, you know, I'm adopted.
My mom is by racial white mama.
My grandmother was no region.
And I mean, my grandma was white, white, okay?
And in, and she, you know, why need is no longer with us, uh, rest in peace, why need
a, but when we went to her house, we would have like the, the casserole and everybody was
so quiet.
That was so weird to me.
Like, how can it be 20 people in this room and you can barely, they're having like their
own.
So, how is your weekend, Donna?
I never understood that.
How about you look?
Is that how your family is?
No.
Like, that is not my family's experience one bit.
So this is your family.
My mom's one of eight.
Uh-huh.
So I don't know if there was ever a quiet day in, in her household.
That's fair.
I'm one of 22 cousins on that side.
So like, anytime the family got together, it was, it was always just, okay, awesome,
a little bit.
Yes.
Yes.
There's so many of them.
Yes.
We did.
We did.
We did.
That was just Carell's.
Somebody had been beyond the piano and you'd be playing the piano and then everybody would
make sure that you could have the words.
And by the time that the like the, the the Carol books came out, everybody was a little
hatred and any way so you needed them.
If you wanted the Christmas carols to sound, anything like they were supposed to do.
Oh.
Oh my God.
So that's why that's how I found them helpful.
That funny.
Yeah.
I always thought that that was like just a make up on TV.
But I really understand my head.
No, it's his arm is that real.
My dad's side though.
He's one of three.
He's the middle.
He's got two sisters, one on older, one younger and a little bit more rigid though and stuffy.
But just not overly formal.
But like also my dad's parents were always just kind of a little bit more reserved.
And so those those holidays were were quiet or just because a there was less people and
be just the nature of of my grandparents there.
I love this conversation here on the black conversion show.
We're just kind of sharing our experiences with their share and their experience with
their white side.
Okay.
White culture, how it how it looks, how it feels and just talking about the difference between
you know, black and white culture.
And what was interesting to me, what you said, Colin is like, Hey, we went to black folks.
House was less formal and the music was already on.
You weren't waiting for a music book, right?
Right.
And something and there was food everywhere because we don't know how to cook for five or
ten people because why do you got ten pans of macaroni and cheese, right?
Why are you going to have ten assortments of meat?
You got fried chicken, fried catfish, turkey ham, braising this, some ribs and it's like
it's Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
Like where did this all come from?
You know what else I noticed is the desserts, I think, are much better on the black side.
And you have a little flammable flavor, you know?
I was a bit, you know, when the only thing Christmas time is a kind of dry cookie, that's
disappointed.
I'm dead.
That's your experience too, look at it, look at it, look at it, I was like, No, the desserts
are always like, I don't know, I haven't spent a whole lot of holidays with black folks.
No, and so I got to invite you over there.
Yeah, so I have to really be able to experience it before I can compare it, but I'm a fan,
I'm a, I'm a, I don't like pie, I'm not a dessert snob, but like there's certain desserts
where I'm just like, I want that and that's usually what pie is a huge holiday thing.
Yeah.
Like the cookies are, there's a big Milwaukee cops is the custard, I would always volunteer
to bring that custard.
So then I had some, you know, there is, and then I've been to white people houses on holidays
and they have all a sort of cookies, and they spend the all day baking these cookies.
And I'd be like, where is the flavor in these cookies and why do all the cookies taste
the same?
I think there's a lot of good cookies.
I love, I love the peanut butter ones with the Hershey kisses, those are my favorites.
Yeah, black people would be having peach cobbler, sweet potato pie, apple pie, upside down
cake, cherry pie, rum cake, we've got, we just got a hundred different desserts, and
I don't even like desserts, but I do like peach cobbler and I have to admit, I'm pretty
good at making it.
So maybe one day for a holiday, we'll hang out, but yeah, here on the black conversion
show, we're just listening to, or you're listening to me, Brandy Grayson, your host
with the most says, and with my co host, Colin Beresha, I just decided to die, die kind
of like digress from our topics, because I thought it was very interesting to have someone
as a co host that has a black mother in a white dad.
So I just wanted to get into like the experiences of someone by ratio who identifies as black.
And the thing that my opinion about by racial kids and, and like, interracial relationships
is I actually think, this might sell, y'all gonna get mad, y'all gonna call civic
media and say, why do y'all have her on air?
I'm just so tired of her BS, but the one thing I, I have noticed is that by ratio kids
raised by black women have a better understanding or have more validation for navigating the
system of white supremacy in their race, whereas children who are often raised by white
women have a harder time.
And I'm not saying that this is absolute fact, I'm just saying from what I've heard, and
the reason being is because a lot of times fathers aren't as active, I think, in that kind
of discussions, you know, I was just kind of like the, the dynamics, the power dynamics
often in families is that women are doing the nurturing, the validating, the, let's talk
about your feelings, let's discuss this.
And then, like Colin said, as a, his white dad often couldn't validate that for him.
So we're gonna talk about that a little bit more in return, but more importantly, I invited
Colin so we can talk about doom and hate women.
So we're gonna get into that topic and the complexity of it for black people today here
on the black conversion show 92.7 FM.
We are also going to get into the politics, I want to talk about Jasmine Crockett, I just
love this woman.
I don't like to talk about Trump, but we might get into him too a little bit, because how
could you not talk about Trump when you're talking about black politics?
So stay tuned here on the black conversion show, we'll be back in the Jeff.
Okay, keep it funky, you're on 92.7 FM, WMDX, you're tuned into the black conversion show
with your girl Brandy Grayson, the hostess with the most is at my co-host for the day.
Okay, we are in a house discussing race and all the good stuff that we always discuss
here on the black conversion show, because how do you get away from race when you're dealing
with Brandy Grayson, you can almost not ever, okay, so I don't have a problem with it
and neither should you.
But today we want to continue the conversation before break, we were talking about my opinion
right, and analysis that the experience of biracial folks is a little different when
they have a white mother versus a black mother, and I think we'll get more into that topic
next week.
I'm going to invite one of my biracial friends on to co-host, because who's better to
talk about the topic than someone who identifies as such raised by a white woman and just
talk about the challenges and maybe some of the advantages of having a white mother or
a white dad and navigating the systems and your ability to see things that may be a
black person cannot see because of different experiences and how we grow up.
But we'll get into that next week because we're running out of time, like always, but
I do want to get into before we get out of here today is the question that we all are
interested in.
Do men hate women?
Luke, do me a favor, let's hear this little clip and then we'll go from there and calling
out, actually, your thoughts from there.
Deeply wrong with the heterosexual men, they hate women, they want the woman to cook
for them, clean for them, have sex with them, but they don't want to respect them, they
don't want to provide for them, they don't want to be loyal to them.
And we can't say these men are gay under cover because gay men are loyal to women, they
love women, they compliment women, they're always around women, but something's deeply
wrong with the conscious mind or the subconscious mind of the heterosexual man.
And then you allow these women to have your children and then you scream, you hate them
and then you leave them and then you don't provide for them and then you get older and
then you go after a woman half your age and then you break that woman and then when she
gets to the age around 29 to 35, you call her bitter and ran through because you chose
a young woman that trusted you, maybe because she had father issues and you broke her.
You men hate women, but you want these women to have your children, you want them to be
100% loyal to you and then you start to complain about providing and then you tell a woman,
she should meet me where I'm at, what the heck is wrong with you men?
You men deep down in your subconscious mind have been programmed to hate women and the
bad part about it, your sons are learning not from what you say, but what you do.
So the way you disrespect their mother, the only example of a man they had was you, now
they're breaking their women and the cycle repeats, who really benefits from this?
Oh, praise is do to the most hard.
All right, he said, I'm out for dinner in college.
Oh, yeah, look, who is that from the count Yada on Instagram?
I don't know who these people are, why, why EDA, oh, I just want yada know, I don't have
Instagram, I do because connected to Facebook, but I don't even know how to use Instagram.
I don't know how to use anything except for Facebook.
I'm going to do better because Drew Wall said he's going to help me.
Okay.
Back to the topic and do men hate women, what are your feelings or thoughts after listening
to that clip, Colin?
Well, unfortunately, I think I agree with the sentiment, not that I, I don't hate women,
but there's evidence of exactly what that, what count Yada was saying in the clip and
you can see that on on social media, one of the, the most telling is how enraged some
men get at the fact that some women do only fans and sell risque pictures of themselves.
And Yada wonder, it's like, that's, you know, they want that, they want that for free.
Yeah.
I mean, they mad because they can't just have it and they mad that they're trying to make
money off of their own body.
Right.
Yeah.
And so nothing else is free, but, but that's, I think that's, that's right, yeah, it's not
universal.
Yeah.
And, and I, I, I don't know for sure, but I, I wonder if this is, if it's social media
is making these kind of things worse because that's typically where I see the sentiments
expressed that, um, count Yada was speaking of.
Yeah.
Like, and the question is, is social media making it worse or making it so that people have
a platform to actually express what they, they felt all along, you know, so that's a
good question.
And I think so.
Like, I often struggle with this idea, um, because even as a, a woman who's a professional
woman, like, I work a lot and the desire and need of partners to want to have, um,
the woman cook and clean and cater and still do those things, like in the 1920s and 40s
and 50s, when women was unable to work, right?
Remember, there was time when women couldn't work, we couldn't vote.
We couldn't go and get a credit card without the permission of our husband.
And we couldn't even sign a lease without a husband, right?
So those kind of, uh, residues, I think in our culture is still very, um, I don't know,
like in there, you know, right.
And I saw this reddit thread, um, where the question was, you know, young men, would
you want women to, would you be okay and willing to provide for your, your wife and family?
And, uh, most of the comments were saying, oh, yeah, as long as she respects me, as long
as she respects me, I'm like scrolling like, what does that mean?
Yeah.
You know, the real obvious answer is very few people, men or women could actually afford
in this economy to support an entire adult plus children and, uh, maintain a house.
That's just not financially feasible.
Now, I was waiting for someone to say that.
Say that.
Yeah, but it never happened.
All right.
Yeah, because the, the, the double size sort is like, men can't provide, but I think that's
the question that I want to explore next week in part two is what really is provision?
Because oftentimes we, we think provision is financial, but I will offer something different
that provision is actually safety for women, right?
Men who provide safety in terms of making sure that your partner, whether you're married
or not, can be safe in her soft femininity.
And I want to get into what is femininity, what is masculinity?
And how does that show up in these relationships where we are saying that men hate women?
And of course, as, like you said, as isn't universal, but there's so much to be talked
about.
And of course, I ran out of time because I got hooked into the conversation about things
given and buys, but we will continue this conversation.
So don't go anywhere.
I mean, go somewhere, but return next week as we record part two here on 92.7 FM WMDX with
your girl, Brandy Grayson, the Black Conversion Show and my co-host today.
Colin Burusha.
See you next week.
See you next week.